What does the church of Christ have to do with this?
We need to go ahead and deify Saban. I figured we could just take the Church of Christ and rename it the Church of Nick. Then the people who still wanted to worship Jesus could go somewhere else and the legion of
devil Saban worshipers could take over their facilities. Paint the buildings crimpson. Pull down the crosses and put up goalposts. You know. Class the place up.
They don't have organs in those places, so they'd have room for the pep band to come in and play Rammer Jammer to close out the services.
Change a couple of hymns...
Amazing Nick
How Great Nick Art
What a Friend we have in Saban
Blest Be the Tide that Binds