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Christmas Is Coming

Snaggletiger

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Christmas Is Coming
« on: November 09, 2018, 12:50:17 PM »
For those of you with kids, this should do the trick.

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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Saniflush

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2018, 12:59:51 PM »
Fucking A!
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2018, 01:43:25 PM »
Fucking A!
Shit son, I know you are a new parent and all but you hadn't heard that before?  Fuck I have been wanting to do this for years but I don't have a fireplace. 

Hell, I kinda figured you came up with the idea years ago...you know just cause.
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Saniflush

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2018, 02:03:09 PM »
Shit son, I know you are a new parent and all but you hadn't heard that before?  Fuck I have been wanting to do this for years but I don't have a fireplace. 

Hell, I kinda figured you came up with the idea years ago...you know just cause.
Oh I had heard of it. I was chiming as to the degree of awesomeness of said idea.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

AUTailgatingRules

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2018, 02:03:50 PM »
For those of you with kids, this should do the trick.

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Speaking of Christmas. Any ideas for staging my damn elf would be greatly appreciated
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Godfather

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2018, 02:05:40 PM »
Speaking of Christmas. Any ideas for staging my damn elf would be greatly appreciated
You mean the differences in execution between a fireplace or spit roast fire?  I think either would work they are cotton it should burn it nicely.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2018, 02:25:08 PM »
Speaking of Christmas. Any ideas for staging my damn elf would be greatly appreciated
We had to hide the elf every morning and our kids would look for it.  Then they got too old, so I started messing with the elf. My favorite was I put a mirror on the table, poured out a line of baking soda on it, rolled up a dollar bill and had the elf snorting the blow.  When the fam walked in, they were less than pleased. If my daughter still had any Barbie dolls, I would have stripped one down and had her smoking a cigarette beside the elf. 

Hookers and blow for Christmas.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2018, 02:28:13 PM »
Image result for Bad elf on a shelf images
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2018, 02:28:17 PM »
I remember when our elf made a special appearance to roll a tiny tree after the national championship.  Good times.

I would say you could do that for an Auburn win, but I don't know that the kids would appreciate that after the Liberty game as much.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2018, 02:45:58 PM »
Image result for Bad elf on a shelf images
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2018, 03:31:04 PM »
Image result for Bad elf on a shelf images
What is that like the Paul Finebaum Edition of Elf on the Shelf?
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The Six

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #11 on: November 09, 2018, 06:04:07 PM »
The only Christmas I want to come

« Last Edit: November 09, 2018, 06:06:05 PM by The Six »
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ssgaufan

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #12 on: November 09, 2018, 07:42:51 PM »
Image result for Bad elf on a shelf images
Can’t believe you wasted your condoms like that.
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chinook

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #13 on: November 13, 2018, 05:59:55 PM »
Shit son, I know you are a new parent and all but you hadn't heard that before?  Fuck I have been wanting to do this for years but I don't have a fireplace

Hell, I kinda figured you came up with the idea years ago...you know just cause.

well you do live in southern Florida.  duh.
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The Six

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #14 on: November 13, 2018, 09:37:11 PM »
well you do live in southern Florida.  duh.
You saying GF voted often in the recent election?
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GH2001

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Re: Christmas Is Coming
« Reply #15 on: November 14, 2018, 08:07:11 AM »
You saying GF voted often in the recent election?

No. He’s alive. And not a Democrat so....
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