I hear you.
But im gonna need that ponytail pic.
I'm sure I got one somewhere. I was a mess.
Had an earring. Wore a diamond when I was being fancy and had a skull on a spike cross for regular days. My hair hadn't gone then. Before the wreck I had a nice mullet. After the accident I was out for three months or so and then in recovery for six more months at least. Didn't get a haircut the whole time. So when I went back to work and DNGAF I used this crap that slicked it back like Pat Riley and put the mullet into a tail.
I see now in retrospect that I was being purposely self-destructive, but hell. I was in good shape from playing baseball, I was not even 30 and a widower, my arm was still sorta fucked up and I honestly didn't care if I lived or died. It wasn't necessarily about "intimidation" because I really didn't physically intimidate the deadbeats. It was more about intractability and doggedness. There was no threat and no negotiation they could provide that would get me to leave without my money or my shit. Period.
Dude, at the same time I was doing this I was working with another guy doing car repossessions at night and on the weekends. I had guns pulled on me, shots fired in our direction, dogs sicced on me, people try to fight. I did not care.
Having a daughter and realizing I didn't really want to die after all changed me.
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