I'm about the same age as Kavanaugh. If I'm going to be investigated by the FBI for every time I tried to get into a girl's Levis when I was 18 they better hire more agents.
But I also want them to investigate (names changed to protect the innocent):
1. Melody who got into the car with me, Chuck and Tommy, stripped off her shorts and said "who's gonna fuck me first!" (The answer was nobody, believe it or not. She was the little sister of a guy we knew and it just didn't seem right)
2. Sharnese who cornered me between the coke machine and the snack machine during break, grabbed my penii and told me that black girls were the same color on the inside.
3. Althea, who I went to pick up for a date when she was 20 and I was 16. I had been infatuated with her for a long time. Good lord she was beautiful. She had her own apartment which was cool. Like guaranteed laid which was thrilling. I knocked, she said come in and I did. Told me she was in the bedroom, come on back she'd only be a few minutes. I did only to find her in a bra, sitting on the toilet with her panties around her ankles dropping a serious deuce. Like splashdown. I watched her wipe and flush as she made small talk. We go eat, hang out with some friends for a bit and go back to her apartment where she attempts to have relations. I could not. I was 16 and not prepared for deuce dropping by an angel. She was later arrested for forging prescriptions so I guess it was just as well.
4. Marjorie, who was a friend but not interesting to me in that way at all, (she looked a little like a cross between David Bowie and David Coverdale) and who called my parent's house at 2 am and asked my dad if I could come help her get her car out of where she'd gotten it stuck. It was not stuck and she attempted to express her teenage sexual frustration on me. She's dead now, so I'll just leave it there.
5. Dawn, who sat in my keen Mustang outside her parent's house crying to me about her boyfriend before she absently started fondling my privates. I'm including her in the investigation only because she did that for a while and then bawled "I have a boyfriend" as she got our and ran inside. Hell, I had a girlfriend too but she wasn't there.
6. Sandy who was 28 and married when I was 16-17. We worked together and she got me to help her with things around the house when her husband was working out of town. When he was in town, they'd have me over and I'd drink beer with him. When he was gone, well, she needed help. She took advantage of me. That is the only house I've ever crawled out of a window because the man was coming home. And all I did was put my clothes on, go out to the back shed, throw a couple of bags of mulch in a wheelbarrow and come around from the back to ask her where she wanted me to put them. He told me to put that shit down and come in the house and have a beer with him. So I did. But now I want an investigation.
7. Cheryl, one of my best friends, who was engaged and asked me "as a photographer" to go look at her engagement photos. We instead went to a motel because she'd only been with Jack, her husband to be, and wanted to be with somebody else before she got married. Stayed two days. I still went to the wedding. Declined another invitation after she was married. She's married and divorced twice now. Caught cheating. If she asked again now, I'd go. But I still want her investigated.
I'm sure there are others, but I'd rather the FBI look into this rather than waste time on Kavanaugh engaging in a little Animal House horseplay.
Stupid democrats.
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