Our cake is ready. Bitch.
I did some calculations based on your socialist leanings.
55% of this cake must go to people who have less cake than you.
14% of this cake must go to people who entered the country illegally.
30% of this cake must go to the government.
You may have 1% of the cake, but first you must give the cake to us and allow us to make the division. Your share will be apportioned to you in approximately eight months unless someone who feels they have been disadvantaged based on their sex, gender, hairstyle, race, religion, handicap, or feelings makes a claim on your share of the cake. At that point a review process will begin and if it is determined you should get some cake, your share will be reduced in order to pay for the expenses of the review.