A soldier was getting his airborne qualification and on the night after his first jump, he called his dad to tell him how it went.
Dad: So, how did it go?
Soldier: Dad, I got up to the door and I froze. I absolutely froze.
Dad: What happened next?
Soldier: You know that huge, nasty instructor I've been telling you about? Well, he told me if I didn't jump he was going to shove his 10" dick up my ass.
Dad: Well, did you jump?
Soldier: Yeah, a little at first.