OSCAR Noms

[The Six]

Can we have a rule that more than 6 people in a festival of fellow fart-smellers need to have seen a movie for it to be nominated in a top category?

Best Picture:
“Call Me by Your Name” - Homo love story. Oscar loves these but never awards them.
“Darkest Hour” - Deify Winston Churchill some more.
“Dunkirk” - Nolan does WW2. Zzzzzzzzz
“Get Out” - Outsider, underdog, minority directed "horror" movie. Not bad but not gonna win.
“Lady Bird” - Girl comes of age or something...yawn
“Phantom Thread” - Daniel Day Lewis falls in love. Shocking.
“The Post” - The Media Saves Us All...Again
“The Shape of Water” - Beautiful monsters just want love too...blech
“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” - Racism, violence towards women. We have a winner.

Lead Actor:
Timothée Chalamet, “Call Me by Your Name” - Token nom tied to Picture nom.
Daniel Day-Lewis, “Phantom Thread” - Always gets nominated
Daniel Kaluuya, “Get Out” - Gave a good performance, but not gonna win.
Gary Oldman, “Darkest Hour” - Got fat to play a historical figure. DING!
Denzel Washington, “Roman J. Israel, Esq.” - Always gets nominated

Lead Actress:
Sally Hawkins, “The Shape of Water” - Who?
Frances McDormand, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” - Always gets nominated, always sucks
Margot Robbie, “I, Tonya” - Really?
Saoirse Ronan, “Lady Bird” - Her name sounds like Sea Horsey
Meryl Streep, “The Post” - Always nominated for life

Supporting Actor:
Willem Dafoe, “The Florida Project” - Strange dude
Woody Harrelson, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” - Probably too high to notice
Richard Jenkins, “The Shape of Water” - Wasn't he on a sitcom?
Christopher Plummer, “All the Money in the World” - Didn't know he was still alive
Sam Rockwell, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” - Token nom to the film the Academy loves

Supporting Actress:
Mary J. Blige, “Mudbound” - We owe this to her 
Allison Janney, “I, Tonya” - Whatever
Lesley Manville, “Phantom Thread” - Who?
Laurie Metcalf, “Lady Bird” - Roseanne's sister
Octavia Spencer, “The Shape of Water” - War Eagle

Director:
“Dunkirk,” Christopher Nolan - Hasn't made a good movie since Inception.
“Get Out,” Jordan Peele - Good for first time out, now must be political about everything
“Lady Bird,” Greta Gerwig - Woman power, good chance
“Phantom Thread,” Paul Thomas Anderson - Always gets nominated
“The Shape of Water,” Guillermo del Toro - Fanboys wetdream

Animated Feature:
“The Boss Baby” - This thing sucks
“The Breadwinner” - If it's about girl power, shoe in
“Coco” - Nope
“Ferdinand” - John Cena as a bull
“Loving Vincent” - What?

[chinook]

Can we have a rule that more than 6 people in a festival of fellow fart-smellers need to have seen a movie for it to be nominated in a top category?

Best Picture:
“Call Me by Your Name” - Homo love story. Oscar loves these but never awards them.
“Darkest Hour” - Deify Winston Churchill some more.
“Dunkirk” - Nolan does WW2. Zzzzzzzzz
“Get Out” - Outsider, underdog, minority directed "horror" movie. Not bad but not gonna win.
“Lady Bird” - Girl comes of age or something...yawn
“Phantom Thread” - Daniel Day Lewis falls in love. Shocking.
“The Post” - The Media Saves Us All...Again
“The Shape of Water” - Beautiful monsters just want love too...blech
“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” - Racism, violence towards women. We have a winner.

Lead Actor:
Timothée Chalamet, “Call Me by Your Name” - Token nom tied to Picture nom.
Daniel Day-Lewis, “Phantom Thread” - Always gets nominated
Daniel Kaluuya, “Get Out” - Gave a good performance, but not gonna win.
Gary Oldman, “Darkest Hour” - Got fat to play a historical figure. DING!
Denzel Washington, “Roman J. Israel, Esq.” - Always gets nominated

Lead Actress:
Sally Hawkins, “The Shape of Water” - Who?
Frances McDormand, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” - Always gets nominated, always sucks
Margot Robbie, “I, Tonya” - Really?
Saoirse Ronan, “Lady Bird” - Her name sounds like Sea Horsey
Meryl Streep, “The Post” - Always nominated for life

Supporting Actor:
Willem Dafoe, “The Florida Project” - Strange dude
Woody Harrelson, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” - Probably too high to notice
Richard Jenkins, “The Shape of Water” - Wasn't he on a sitcom?
Christopher Plummer, “All the Money in the World” - Didn't know he was still alive
Sam Rockwell, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” - Token nom to the film the Academy loves

Supporting Actress:
Mary J. Blige, “Mudbound” - We owe this to her 
Allison Janney, “I, Tonya” - Whatever
Lesley Manville, “Phantom Thread” - Who?
Laurie Metcalf, “Lady Bird” - Roseanne's sister
Octavia Spencer, “The Shape of Water” - War Eagle

Director:
“Dunkirk,” Christopher Nolan - Hasn't made a good movie since Inception.
“Get Out,” Jordan Peele - Good for first time out, now must be political about everything
“Lady Bird,” Greta Gerwig - Woman power, good chance
“Phantom Thread,” Paul Thomas Anderson - Always gets nominated
“The Shape of Water,” Guillermo del Toro - Fanboys wetdream

Animated Feature:
“The Boss Baby” - This thing sucks
“The Breadwinner” - If it's about girl power, shoe in
“Coco” - Nope
“Ferdinand” - John Cena as a bull
“Loving Vincent” - What?

You could have simply wrote Fuck that Noise.

[jmar]

You could have simply wrote Fuck that Noise.

Six or seven minutes just...
gone.

[Kaos]

I have seen exactly one of those. 

I will see exactly zero more of those. 

#fuckhollywood

[AUJarhead]

“Dunkirk,” Christopher Nolan - Hasn't made a good movie since Inception.

You misspelled Interstellar, which I thought was fantastic.

But I agree with Dunkirk.  I thought it was also meh.  I loved the dog-fighting scenes though, and wish they had more of those.

[Buzz Killington]

The Tsunami hasn't hit Hollywood yet?  Shame.

[The Six]

You misspelled Interstellar, which I thought was fantastic.

But I agree with Dunkirk.  I thought it was also meh.  I loved the dog-fighting scenes though, and wish they had more of those.

Interstellar is a bad version of 2001: A Space Odyssey. MURPH!!!!!!

Fuck that noise.

[AUJarhead]

Interstellar is a bad version of 2001: A Space Odyssey. MURPH!!!!!!

fudge that noise.

Hal hates you.

[The Six]

You could have simply wrote Fuck that Noise.

[The Six]

Hal hates you.

2001 rules. Interstellar mostly sucks.

[The Six]

The Breadwinner

"Parvana is an 11-year-old girl who lives under Taliban rule in Afghanistan in 2001. After the wrongful arrest of her father, Parvana cuts off her hair and dresses like a boy to support her family. Working alongside a friend, she soon discovers a new world of freedom and danger. Drawing strength from the fantastical stories she invents, Parvana embarks on an epic quest to find her father and reunite her family."

Let's see :
Woman power - check
Men are useless - check
The USA is the bad guy - check
Immigration laws are evil - check

Yeah, this is winning. 

[AUChizad]

I'll just comment on the films themselves.

“Call Me by Your Name” - No interest. I will say Hollywood is a bit hypocritical to laud this and completely ignore Louis CK's I Love You Daddy, which I thought was great, for being thematically "problematic".

“Darkest Hour” - May get around to this one, but meh.

“Dunkirk” - Everyone apparently loved this but me. It was hard to pay attention to. An entire 2 hour film with only a second act and barely any dialogue

“Get Out” - I enjoyed this movie. Oscar though? This one is definitely a "diversity hire". Since when the fuck do satirical horror comedies get nominated, if not for being "important" thematically? Cabin in the Woods or Tucker and Dale vs. Evil are about as good or better, and of course neither came close to catching a whiff of Oscar's farts.

“Lady Bird” - I saw this and liked it a lot. A realistic representation of high school. It felt different than most overproduced coming of age movies. The kids felt like real people in high school. A little Napolean Dynamite meets like a white trash Wes Anderson film.

“Phantom Thread” - One of these period pieces all about the costume design always gets nominated and I never have a modicum of interest in watching them

“The Post” - This feels like a media suckfest. Another one that I'm sure got a huge boost from blowhardy academy voters smelling their own farts about how important they are and being "what we need right now".

“The Shape of Water” - Haven't seen this yet, but definitely will get around to it. War Eagle Octavia Spencer. Guillermo del Toro always does some interesting shit, and this concept is pretty far out there, which piques my interest.

“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” - This was a really good movie. Not as artsy-fartsy as you probably imagine. Sam Rockwell deserves an award for this. His performance was subtle at first, and early in this movie I was questioning why he got nominated, but it definitely amped up from there and he definitely succeeded in providing three dimensions to the character.

“Roman J. Israel, Esq.” - Doesn't look too appealing to me. I may get around to it, but it's probably at the bottom of the list

“I, Tonya” - This was also really good. We all know the story, but it filled in a lot of the gaps, and mostly focused on her white trash/abusive relationship with her mom and husband. Not sure if it was marketed clearly as a dark comedy, but it definitely was. The dude that played the fat bodyguard guy was hilarious, and IMO should have been recognized for supporting actor.

“The Florida Project” - Haven't gotten around to this one, but I hear good things, so I'm sure I will.

“All the Money in the World” - Interesting that Plummer got nominated for this given that he shot all his scenes like two weeks before the movie was theatrically released to replace Kevin Spacey. I may get around to this one too.

“Mudbound” - Heard this was ok, but it's also low on my list of things to get around to. Forgive me if, without having seen it, I doubt Mary J Blige's performance was Oscar-worthy though.

“The Boss Baby” - LOL at this pile of shit being nominated for an Oscar. I put it on for my nephews when they were in town. It is in no way a good movie. Lego Batman got snubbed and definitely should have gotten a nod.

“The Breadwinner” - Zero interest

“Coco” - I've got this one queued up. Looks like a decent kid's flick. I'll probably put it on with my son or a nephew or something

“Ferdinand” - Same as above. I remember the book this was based on.

“Loving Vincent” - Nah.

[GH2001]

I'll just comment on the films themselves.

“Call Me by Your Name” - No interest. I will say Hollywood is a bit hypocritical to laud this and completely ignore Louis CK's I Love You Daddy, which I thought was great, for being thematically "problematic".

“Darkest Hour” - May get around to this one, but meh.

“Dunkirk” - Everyone apparently loved this but me. It was hard to pay attention to. An entire 2 hour film with only a second act and barely any dialogue

“Get Out” - I enjoyed this movie. Oscar though? This one is definitely a "diversity hire". Since when the fuck do satirical horror comedies get nominated, if not for being "important" thematically? Cabin in the Woods or Tucker and Dale vs. Evil are about as good or better, and of course neither came close to catching a whiff of Oscar's farts.

“Lady Bird” - I saw this and liked it a lot. A realistic representation of high school. It felt different than most overproduced coming of age movies. The kids felt like real people in high school. A little Napolean Dynamite meets like a white trash Wes Anderson film.

“Phantom Thread” - One of these period pieces all about the costume design always gets nominated and I never have a modicum of interest in watching them

“The Post” - This feels like a media suckfest. Another one that I'm sure got a huge boost from blowhardy academy voters smelling their own farts about how important they are and being "what we need right now".

“The Shape of Water” - Haven't seen this yet, but definitely will get around to it. War Eagle Octavia Spencer. Guillermo del Toro always does some interesting shit, and this concept is pretty far out there, which piques my interest.

“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” - This was a really good movie. Not as artsy-fartsy as you probably imagine. Sam Rockwell deserves an award for this. His performance was subtle at first and questioning why he got nominated, but it definitely amped up and he definitely succeeded in providing three dimensions to the character.

“Roman J. Israel, Esq.” - Doesn't look too appealing to me. I may get around to it, but it's probably at the bottom of the list

“I, Tonya” - This was also really good. We all know the story, but it filled in a lot of the gaps, and mostly focused on her white trash/abusive relationship with her mom and husband. Not sure if it was marketed clearly as a dark comedy, but it definitely was. The dude that played the fat bodyguard guy was hilarious, and IMO should have been recognized for supporting actor.

“The Florida Project” - Haven't gotten around to this one, but I hear good things, so I'm sure I will.

“All the Money in the World” - Interesting that Plummer got nominated for this given that he shot all his scenes like two weeks before the movie was theatrically released to replace Kevin Spacey. I may get around to this one too.
“Mudbound” - Heard this was ok, but it's also low on my list of things to get around to. Forgive me if, without having seen it, I doubt Mary J Blige's performance was Oscar-worthy though.

“The Boss Baby” - LOL at this pile of shit being nominated for an Oscar. I put it on for my nephews when they were in town. It is in no way a good movie. Lego Batman got snubbed and definitely should have gotten a nod.

“The Breadwinner” - Zero interest

“Coco” - I've got this one queued up. Looks like a decent kid's flick. I'll probably put it on with my son or a nephew or something

“Ferdinand” - Same as above. I remember the book this was based on.

“Loving Vincent” - Nah.

One of those times when you make a shit ton of sense. ^^

[AUChizad]

Saw The Florida Project last night. Liked it a lot.

Follows young children around the Orlando motel they're living in during summer break oblivious to their own abject poverty. Kind of bittersweet in that they're living in squalor, but at the same time, they're just kids acting like kids. The ending was brutal though.

Willem Dafoe was ok, but I don't think Oscar worthy. All the performances were great, and I feel like they wanted to give it to someone and all they could do is give the nod to the only known actor in the cast. The main little girl and her mom particularly give some great performances in this.

[chinook]

I have seen ZERO of those movies. 

[Snaggletiger]

I have seen ZERO of those movies.

^This^

[WiregrassTiger]

^This^

^Ditto^

[Kaos]

Get Out.

[Snaggletiger]

Get Out.

I saw that one.

[Kaos]

I saw that one.

I always thought she was pretty hot.