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Gluten off my lawn...

Kaos

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Gluten off my lawn...
« on: January 05, 2018, 12:51:44 AM »
I was half-watching Chopped today and one of the cookers on there was talking about pizza and how all reputable establishments now have "gluten free options" 

That got me to thinking. 

1) I'd never heard of "gluten" until like four or five years ago.  If I remember right the whole "we're allergic to gluten" crap started in like 2010 or so when some quack published a paper or something.
2) I get the fact that there are things that certain people can't eat or digest well.
3) When I eat spicy mexican food, my stomach hurts and I pay an ass flaming price. When I drink Dr. Pepper it makes my stomach hurt and I pay stomach-rumbling price.  SO I DON'T EAT SPICY FOOD OR DRINK DR. PEPPER!  I don't demand that Mexican restaurants offer non-ass flaming options or that Dr. Pepper provide a non-rumbling alternative. 
4) If eating things made of wheat makes you sick, why be a moron and keep eating it?  What gives you the right to demand to eat things you're not able to? 
5) If I ever own a pizza place (and I'm still trying to figure out how to make that work) I'm going to name it Gluten Full and I'll not be offering any gluten free anything. 

Kiss my gluten butt.
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

wesfau2

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2018, 06:59:52 AM »
Maybe pizza shops just want to increase their sales, so they broadened their offerings to appeal to a wider customer base.  Ya know...capitalism and shit.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Buzz Killington

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2018, 08:29:08 AM »
Is this that idea you had a few years ago about the pizza place where you make your own pizza?
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

jmar

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2018, 09:19:46 AM »
Is this that idea you had a few years ago about the pizza place where you make your own pizza?
Seems sort of dangerous right?
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The Six

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2018, 09:24:35 AM »
I thought AIDS was bad but nowadays you stick your dick in and explode.
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

Buzz Killington

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2018, 09:35:06 AM »
Seems sort of dangerous right?
Naah, it's supervised.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Kaos

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2018, 09:35:13 AM »
Maybe pizza shops just want to increase their sales, so they broadened their offerings to appeal to a wider customer base.  Ya know...capitalism and shit.

Whiff.

Not the point.  What pizza places do or don't is not relevant to the whole "I can't eat gluten" paranoia that has spread or the forced overreaction by hundreds of companies.

Less than half of one percent (based on a study I read) actually has the disease that requires a gluten free diet.  You could barely fill up two SEC stadiums with the total number of people in the US that truly requires a gluten free deal.  That means in all of Baldwin County Alabama there are fewer than 100 people truly impacted. 

Does that necessitate shelves stocked with glutenless muffins, pancake mixes, cake mixes, breads, coffee, donuts, etc. etc. etc.? 

I'm trying to stay off sugar.  I have two cake mix options which are rarely in stock at any of the stores and are shoved behind the 48 varieties of glutey free ones.   The bakery has two cookie options.   That's about it. Diabetes is an actual disease.  30 million have Type 2 (as opposed to less than 200,000 with celiac disease). Another 84 million are in the risk range to develop it.  THAT'S a true issue.  Does Pizza Hut offer "diabetes free" crust or sauce?  Yeah, I understand that Type 2 is -- to some extent -- self-inflicted.  But is that because there are so few non-diabetic options out there? 

The problem is all these "self-diagnosed" glutey idiots who once got a stomach ache from eating too much cake and declare themselves in need of glutey free options.  I just don't understand why they don't just stop eating what doesn't agree with them. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2018, 09:46:23 AM »
Maybe pizza shops just want to increase their sales, so they broadened their offerings to appeal to a wider customer base.  Ya know...capitalism and shit.
who better to explain capitalism to us? Maybe Prowler but close race.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2018, 09:47:00 AM »
I stopped eating glue years ago.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2018, 10:00:46 AM »
I stopped eating glue years ago.

Apparently, sniffing it has still been a big thing for you.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

The Six

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2018, 10:19:31 AM »
Apparently, sniffing it has still been a big thing for you.

Well, I was gonna quit too but then I watched the Peach Bowl.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2018, 10:22:34 AM by The Six »
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #11 on: January 05, 2018, 10:24:31 AM »
Apparently, sniffing it has still been a big thing for you.
Not as much as you sniffing my balls.

#boom

Oh yes he did!

#firecracker
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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #12 on: January 05, 2018, 10:33:59 AM »
Not as much as you sniffing my balls.

#boom

Oh yes he did!

#firecracker

Your balls smell like firecrackers?
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #13 on: January 05, 2018, 10:37:34 AM »
Your balls smell like firecrackers?
Why do you put a question mark after you make a statement?

Should have been a period.
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wesfau2

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2018, 11:06:41 AM »
Whiff.

Not the point. 


Oh.


  What gives you the right to demand to eat things you're not able to? 


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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

chinook

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #15 on: January 05, 2018, 11:08:24 AM »
it's the GMOs.
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GH2001

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #16 on: January 05, 2018, 11:14:56 AM »
Maybe pizza shops just want to increase their sales, so they broadened their offerings to appeal to a wider customer base.  Ya know...capitalism and shit.

But the reputability and quality of any pizza should not be tied to if it has gluten free on the menu.

Only a small % of the population has celiac disease. Its just that some opportunistic quacks have convinced about half the population that it's the root of all evil regardless of if they have celiac or not.
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WDE

CCTAU

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #17 on: January 05, 2018, 11:18:43 AM »
But the reputability and quality of any pizza should not be tied to if it has gluten free on the menu.

Only a small % of the population has celiac disease. Its just that some opportunistic quacks have convinced about half the population that it's the root of all evil regardless of if they have celiac or not.

You are correct. Many CHOOSE to eat gluten free.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

GH2001

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #18 on: January 05, 2018, 11:21:08 AM »
You are correct. Many CHOOSE to eat gluten free.

Yeah let's remove (synthetically) the protein binder out of wheat grain. Such a natural healthy thing to do. The fad jumpers find a new boogie man every couple of years. I remember growing up in the 80s it was eggs and coffee.
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WDE

Snaggletiger

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Re: Gluten off my lawn...
« Reply #19 on: January 05, 2018, 11:29:41 AM »
I have no problem with restaurants, stores etc. offering the glutey free option.  However, I agree 100% with those above stating what a miniscule problem gluten really is. I have several family members who swear they are all "allergic" to gluten, because mama has been convinced by a quack cure-all doc that it is at the center of all evil in the world.  Funny how you see them constantly shoveling regular, gluten-filled food into their pie holes without consequence.  We were on vacation with them and talking about what to eat one night. My nephew pipes in, "I can't eat that".  Why not?  "Because it's got gluten.  I'm allergic to gluten."  What happens if you eat it?  "I don't know."
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."