When we entered this weekend, there were some things we knew.
1) Ole Miss was looking for a head coach having announced that Bubba Biscuit Belly (or whoever the interim guy is) wasn't the answer.
2) The Beluga and Stumblin were on thin ice.
3) Tennessee all but had Jon Gruden nailed down. It was only a matter of him getting out of his endorsement deals with Hooters and Corona. He was crawling over broken nails to get to Knoxville.
4) Florida could have its pick of Chip Kelley and some Frost guy and some other dude.
5) Dan Mullen's was the backup choice for Tennessee, but his wife hated Gainesville so much that she wouldn't even buy groceries there so he'd never go back there.
And now today.
Mullen is a Gator again. Guess his whore wife will have take her sorry slut ass to Waldo to get her groceries.
Gruden? No. Schiano. Or not. Triggered Social Justice Warriors (has anybody seen wes or Prowler today?) descended on Knoxville and along with Clay Travis, helped to kill the deal. Who will now coach the Vols? Who the fuck would want to? This makes the Mike Price Bama debacle look tame in comparison. Word is that Tennessee may owe Schiano a buyout. That would be hilarious. If you dropped a nuclear bomb wrapped in napalm on a garbage dumpster, the conflagration that ensued would not come close to matching the flames roaring out of Knoxville.
On the same day Mississippi State learns it must begin the coach search process, its cross state rival Rebel Ackbearbars ended its quest, naming Billy Bubb Blubber Biscuit to the position. I swear, I thought that hire was an Onion headline. No way the Land Goldfish went that route. But they did. They're going to pay that hillbilly more than $2 mil a year. There is no other DI program in the nation that would hire Billy Ray Goober Gob.
Texas A&M whacked Sumlin. Allegedly going to hire Jimbo Fisher. The way this week has gone they'll probably land Gerry DiNardo instead.
The Beluga was booted. Didn't even get off the field after a last second loss before he was chased. Who knows what the Pigs will do if Gus doesn't want to go back home. There are no intrinsic advantages to coaching in that hellhole.
And in Tuscaloosa there is bitching that Saban can't win games where he actually has to coach. They say maybe it's time for him to retire.