More often than not, Kevin Scarbskinski tells it like it is. And though the truth sometimes hurts, it is what it is. Not that he's saying anything here that we don't already know. He just lays it out better than I can. dot I am a gay twerker that has no balls!!!! I also have no idea how to use the quote function to post stories, so I annoy the piss out of others. I like male genatalia in and around my mouth.
In the midst of Auburn Athletics' autumn of discontent, a quaint notion emerged that was at once hopeful, naive and laughable. Perhaps, the thinking went, Gus Malzahn could win enough football games this season to save himself and Jay Jacobs.
There was a real problem with that logic before LSU 27, Auburn 23. There's a bigger problem now.
First, Jacobs can't be saved, and Malzahn wouldn't volunteer to do it if he could. The relationship between the AD and the head football coach has been fractured for some time now. They aren't partners, and they aren't friends.
Athletic department insiders say the two men barely speak.
As for Malzahn, after choke job 1A or 1B of his tenure, he'll have his hands full from here through the Iron Bowl. If Auburn decision-makers care about their football program, Malzahn should spend the rest of this season trying to convince them he's not in over his visor in the games that matter most.
All evidence of the last 3 1/2 years to the contrary.
Consider the unsurprising anger Malzahn unleashed in the Auburn family Saturday. He's responsible for only the last three of nine straight losses in Tiger Stadium, but this one was the most inexcusable of all.
Auburn just got embarrassed by the LSU team that got pantsed in the same house two weeks earlier by Troy. Malzahn and company got outsmarted by the coordinators whose job it is to prop up Ed Orgeron.
If those fun facts weren't enough of a slap in the face, the visiting Tigers descended to this impressive level of infamy after taking a 20-0 lead. The largest collapse of the Malzahn era sparked a debate. Which is worse - losing a 21-3 lead in the BCS Championship Game to Jameis Winston or losing a 20-0 lead to Danny Etling?
The obvious answer: There is no winner here. If, by winner, you mean a head coach capable of competing for and capturing championships on the state, conference and national levels.
Four years ago, Malzahn was right there. Now it appears that window has closed and been boarded shut.
Against teams with a pulse this season, Auburn is 0-2. In road stadiums that quicken your pulse this season, Auburn is 0-2. As a top-10 team the last two seasons, Auburn is 0-2.
No doubt Georgia and Alabama can't wait to make themselves right at home on the Plains.
Auburn went conservative after building a big lead in Death Valley, and it ultimately cost Gus Malzahn's team in another road loss to LSU.
This loss, like Clemson the last two Septembers and Georgia last November, had Malzahn's fingerprints all over it. The identity of Auburn's nominal offensive coordinator continues to be irrelevant in big games as long as Malzahn has a job and a headset.
Consider Saturday's mind-numbing predictability. He or Chip Lindsey or some unproductive meeting of both minds called 17 straight first-down running plays deep into the fourth quarter until all the momentum of that early 20-0 advantage was gone.
There might be a method to that head-banging madness if Cam Newton or Nick Marshall were the quarterback. With Jarrett Stidham at the controls, it amounts to play-calling malpractice.
There were other all-too-familiar issues, but the details matter little because the big picture is crystal clear.
Auburn can't win in a truly hostile and intimidating SEC environment against its traditional annual rivals. Malzahn is 0 for 7 in Baton Rouge, Athens and Tuscaloosa.
Auburn can no longer beat teams with comparable or better talent. Malzahn is 2-3 against LSU, losing two of the last three. He's 1-3 against Georgia and 1-3 against Alabama, losing the last three to each. He's 0-2 against Clemson and 0-3 in bowl games against Power-5 opponents Florida State, Wisconsin and Oklahoma.
Under Malzahn, Auburn finds itself stuck in a no-man's land somewhere just north of mediocrity but well south of excellence. To compound the discouragement of the fan base, almost no one outside the payroll wants the lame-duck AD anywhere near another firing or hiring decision.
One SEC defeat wouldn't spark such a deep dive on the program if the defeat weren't so predictable and the state of the athletic department not so dire. But that's where Auburn finds itself after the worst kind of October surprise.Ever the optimist, Malzahn stood up after the collapse and suggested, "It's not the end of the world." A realist would note his location at that moment, deep inside Death Valley, the metaphor impossible to ignore.