Gus Gravitas

[Buzz Killington]

I want somebody who's a man.  I want somebody who's 40.

Somebody with a glorious mullet?

[Kaos]

I've always liked Gary Patterson.  I think he'd do well at Auburn. 

Chip Kelley?  He's already going to be coaching at A&M, Tennessee, Florida, LSU and Arkansas.  He won't have time.

Bob Stoops?  Will also be coaching at Tennessee. Super secret doobie doo sources indicate he's already moved there.  Or at least drove through the state once.

Bobby Petrino?  No thank you.  That motorcycle has sailed.  We could have had him when we hired Malzahn, but Jacobs instead chose to piss in his cheerios and preach to him.  If he came it would just be to laugh as he ruined the place.

Les Miles?  Are you not entertained?  That would be about all we'd get out of him.  He might coach somewhere else but the boy's blood is as purple as it gets now.  I can't envision him ever being in a situation where he had to compete legitimately with the Bayous.  I don't want somebody whose heart isn't in it unless they're an assassin. He's not.

PJ On Fleek? Hosin Sauce?  I don't know these people. 

Justin Fuentes?  Didn't you see what we did to Rodriguez when he was gonna be at Alabama?  We built the wall. No foreigners.

Mason at Vandy?  Uhhh, I couldn't look at him. Plus the Vandy-to-a-bigger-school thing hardly ever works out.

Dan Merlins?  I will stab somebody in the throat.  I don't want his kind. Ever.

My choice if I could pick? 

Mike Gundy.

He's won twice as many games as he's lost (yes, I know that equals 8-4) but he's done it at OK State which isn't exactly New York City.

Five of the last seven years his teams have won at least 10 games.
Seven of the last nine, they've won at least nine. 
The worst year he's had since 2005 is 7-6. 

Larry Fedora, a pretty decent coach, learned under him as OC.
Dana Holgerson and Todd Moncken also coached under him. 

He worked under Les Miles. 

He's 50 years old, makes 3.7 and has to live in Oklahoma.  He's also a man.

Biggest drawbacks?

He's home.  Played for OSU, has only coached outside Oklahoma for four total years.  One at Baylor and three at Maryland.

The mullet.   

[Snaggletiger]

What about Houston Markham, Jr.?

[Kaos]

What about Houston Markham, Jr.?

He recovered a fumble against Alabama in like 1997.  How does that make him a good coach?

[ssgaufan]

He recovered a fumble against Alabama in like 1997.  How does that make him a good coach?

For Jay, that's all the qualification he needs.  Hell, he might even be over qualified.

[Kaos]

For Jay, that's all the qualification he needs.  Hell, he might even be over qualified.

He didn't even recover it, now that I think about it.  Forced the fumble.   

[Buzz Killington]

He didn't even recover it, now that I think about it.  Forced the fumble.

Doesn't.  Even.  Matter.

[wesfau2]

The problem is that there aren't any more seasoned candidates willing to move around.  It's a problem every team faces nowadays.  The quick trigger firings as everyone attempts to out-Saban Saban only compounds the problem.

[Godfather]

My choice if I could pick? 

Mike Gundy.

He's won twice as many games as he's lost (yes, I know that equals 8-4) but he's done it at OK State which isn't exactly New York City.

Five of the last seven years his teams have won at least 10 games.
Seven of the last nine, they've won at least nine. 
The worst year he's had since 2005 is 7-6. 

Larry Fedora, a pretty decent coach, learned under him as OC.
Dana Holgerson and Todd Moncken also coached under him. 

He worked under Les Miles. 

He's 50 years old, makes 3.7 and has to live in Oklahoma.  He's also a man.

Biggest drawbacks?

He's home.  Played for OSU, has only coached outside Oklahoma for four total years.  One at Baylor and three at Maryland.

The mullet.

Honestly, I think I would take any of the names mentioned over our current prick.  However, to discuss Gundy.

My concern with Gundy is lack of any defense what-so-ever.

[Kaos]

Honestly, I think I would take any of the names mentioned over our current prick.  However, to discuss Gundy.

My concern with Gundy is lack of any defense what-so-ever.

2010.

[jmar]

The problem is that there aren't any more seasoned candidates willing to move around.  It's a problem every team faces nowadays.  The quick trigger firings as everyone attempts to out-Saban Saban only compounds the problem.

Sarkisian is the Falcon's OC. He's a damn good coach, drinks but also WINS everywhere he goes.

[CCTAU]

Sarkisian is the Falcon's OC. He's a damn good coach, drinks but also WINS everywhere he goes.

Poor Sean White. Peeked a year too early!

[Snaggletiger]

Sarkisian is the Falcon's OC. He's a damn good coach, drinks but also WINS everywhere he goes.

He's 46-35 at Washington and 1 & 5/12ths seasons at USC. 

Very intriguing selection there, jmar. At least worth a second look see. 

[wesfau2]

He's 46-35 at Washington and 1 & 5/12ths seasons at USC. 

Very intriguing selection there, jmar. At least worth a second look see.

His past will disqualify him.

Plus, who wants Nick's sloppy seconds?

[jmar]

He's 46-35 at Washington and 1 & 5/12ths seasons at USC. 

Very intriguing selection there, jmar. At least worth a second look see.

Nobody can figure Haden but he was hired at USC on his past record and having re built Washington into what it has become now. Same goes for Belotti Oregon and what Chip inherited. Alvarez to Biliemaetc.
Not sold on the guy just know football people really speak highly of him.

[Snaggletiger]

His past will disqualify him.

Plus, who wants Nick's sloppy seconds?

Let's see, off the top of my head:

Auburn X 2
Georgia
Florida
Texas
Houston
Colorado State
Florida Atlantic
Atlanta Falcons

[jmar]

Let's see, off the top of my head:

Auburn X 2
Georgia
Florida
Texas
Houston
Colorado State
Florida Atlantic
Atlanta Falcons

The little dictators underlings might become good coaches but they sure start slow.
And unlike others I don't count Muschamp and Jimbo as underlings.

[jmar]

WTF we ain't gonna upgrade. We are stuvk with this 7-5 wizzard.

[WiregrassTiger]

If more of you had been truly supportive of Gus and applied the creed to your life, we wouldn't be in this mess.

We'd be contenders.

[GH2001]

I've always liked Gary Patterson.  I think he'd do well at Auburn. 

Chip Kelley?  He's already going to be coaching at A&M, Tennessee, Florida, LSU and Arkansas.  He won't have time.

Bob Stoops?  Will also be coaching at Tennessee. Super secret doobie doo sources indicate he's already moved there.  Or at least drove through the state once.

Bobby Petrino?  No thank you.  That motorcycle has sailed.  We could have had him when we hired Malzahn, but Jacobs instead chose to piss in his cheerios and preach to him.  If he came it would just be to laugh as he ruined the place.

Les Miles?  Are you not entertained?  That would be about all we'd get out of him.  He might coach somewhere else but the boy's blood is as purple as it gets now.  I can't envision him ever being in a situation where he had to compete legitimately with the Bayous.  I don't want somebody whose heart isn't in it unless they're an assassin. He's not.

PJ On Fleek? Hosin Sauce?  I don't know these people. 

Justin Fuentes?  Didn't you see what we did to Rodriguez when he was gonna be at Alabama?  We built the wall. No foreigners.

Mason at Vandy?  Uhhh, I couldn't look at him. Plus the Vandy-to-a-bigger-school thing hardly ever works out.

Dan Merlins?  I will stab somebody in the throat.  I don't want his kind. Ever.

My choice if I could pick? 

Mike Gundy.

He's won twice as many games as he's lost (yes, I know that equals 8-4) but he's done it at OK State which isn't exactly New York City.

Five of the last seven years his teams have won at least 10 games.
Seven of the last nine, they've won at least nine. 
The worst year he's had since 2005 is 7-6. 

Larry Fedora, a pretty decent coach, learned under him as OC.
Dana Holgerson and Todd Moncken also coached under him. 

He worked under Les Miles. 

He's 50 years old, makes 3.7 and has to live in Oklahoma.  He's also a man.

Biggest drawbacks?

He's home.  Played for OSU, has only coached outside Oklahoma for four total years.  One at Baylor and three at Maryland.

The mullet.

Another drawback - T Boone