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Happy Happy Destin Counselor

Snaggletiger

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Happy Happy Destin Counselor
« on: September 09, 2017, 12:47:41 PM »
Hope it's a Cat 5. 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

bgreene

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Re: Happy Happy Destin Counselor
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2017, 12:50:47 PM »
Oh happy day!!!
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"Men are made stronger on the realization that the helping hand they need is at the end of their own arm."

                -Sidney Phillips

jmar

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Re: Happy Happy Destin Counselor
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2017, 01:10:40 PM »
Go fly a kite!
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Pell City Tiger

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Re: Happy Happy Destin Counselor
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2017, 01:17:49 PM »
May your day be filled with liquor drinks and women of loose morals.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Happy Happy Destin Counselor
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2017, 10:29:13 PM »
If I could choose between an Auburn win and you having a happy birthday, you'd be more disappointed than your current situation. Just left your city but didn't know you lived there. Didn't miss you. At all. But make the best of getting what appears to be very old.
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wesfau2

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Re: Happy Happy Destin Counselor
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2017, 10:42:40 AM »
Thanks.  40 feels a lot like 39.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Kaos

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Re: Happy Happy Destin Counselor
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2017, 10:46:25 AM »
Thanks.  40 feels a lot like 39.

It's not, though. 

One day very soon you won't be able to read your prescription bottle.  The newspaper will start printing very small letters.  The text on your phone will shrink. 

Meanwhile the things you eat will suddenly make you feel queasy.  You won't be able to hold or handle things like you could at 39.  You'll start to have random, unexplained pains in parts of your body you didn't know existed.  The time span between "I have to shit" and "Oh SHIT, I have to SHIT" will decrease.  Same with pissing.  If you're lucky you won't leak a little. 

It's a conspiracy.  They all know when you turn 40 and do that to you on purpose. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Token

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Re: Happy Happy Destin Counselor
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2017, 10:50:14 AM »
Happy Birthday Wes, hope you had a good one you flaming liberal fuck. No offense.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Happy Happy Destin Counselor
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2017, 11:06:46 AM »
Happy belated.  I ordered you a twirlybird for your big day, but I think someone misunderstood.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

djsimp

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Re: Happy Happy Destin Counselor
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2017, 03:33:50 PM »
Happy birthday!
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