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Death to Dax

Kaos

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Death to Dax
« on: March 19, 2017, 09:32:22 AM »
In the pantheon of untalented hacks who populate Hollywood, Dax Shepard stands apart.  The utterly humorless dickweed destroys every film he's in with his shittacular performance. 

The biggest problems with this are 1) the imbecile thinks he's fucking hilarious and B) studios keep letting the moronic assburger perform in and make movies. 

I'm no CHiPaholic, but I remember CHiPs from when I was a kid and it was good, decent fun. So there's a bit of nostalgia associated with it. I've seen the trailers for the CHiPs remake that this non-functioning cooze drizzler wrote, directed and stars in.  It disgusts and offends me.

Every ounce of the disdain and outrage that was directed at the Ghostbusters fuckery should be unleashed on this boil on the ass of humanity a thousand times over.   

Everything that was good, everything that was fun, everything that made that show an enduring part of American culture has been shit on, pissed on and fucked over by this no-talent piece of shit clown. 

The trailer alone is bad enough that Dax and every studio executive who agreed to this should be lined up Singapore style and caned until they're a breath away from dying.  Then allow them to recover and do it again.  Twenty times. 

I hope this pus bag of a movie bombs to the point that the idiotic shit stain can't even get a job changing oil at Express. I want him gone so he can't inflict any more damage.   

This kind of shit really pisses me off anyway. 

Drew Barrymore's Charlie's Angels movie was meh and missed the point of the series.
Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller's Starsky and Hutch abomination should be destroyed.
This?  It's too much. 

What's next a Gilligan's Island remake starring Vin Diesel as a Gilligan who's having a gay affair with Kevin James' Skipper while he fends off advances from Jennifer Lawrence as Mary Ann and Christina Hendricks as Ginger?  Make sure to show lots of dicks and add in plenty of profanity.  Hell, Dax could play the professor.



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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Death to Dax
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2017, 11:56:24 AM »
Being an old fogie myself, CHiPs was a network TV must see, weekly event.  Wouldn't even remotely consider watching any attempt at a remake. But I have to say, your analysis was worth the price of admission.  Classic K.

"Moronic assburger" and "non-functioning cooze drizzler" along with "boil on the ass of humanity".

Where else can you get reviews that paint so real and vivid a picture?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

CCTAU

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Re: Death to Dax
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2017, 01:33:32 PM »
Being an old fogie myself, CHiPs was a network TV must see, weekly event.  Wouldn't even remotely consider watching any attempt at a remake. But I have to say, your analysis was worth the price of admission.  Classic K.

"Moronic assburger" and "non-functioning cooze drizzler" along with "boil on the ass of humanity".

Where else can you get reviews that paint so real and vivid a picture?


Agrees. I saw the trailer a while back and threw up a little in my mouth!


Even if one cannot be creative, at least stay true to the premise.


This crap started with wild wild West!
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

chinook

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Re: Death to Dax
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2017, 07:14:44 PM »
This thread should be renamed.  Crotchety and 55+
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Re: Death to Dax
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2017, 08:53:52 PM »
I can't picture Michael Pena calling Buzz a dumbass.
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GH2001

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Re: Death to Dax
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2017, 08:56:41 PM »
Being an old fogie myself, CHiPs was a network TV must see, weekly event.  Wouldn't even remotely consider watching any attempt at a remake. But I have to say, your analysis was worth the price of admission.  Classic K.

"Moronic assburger" and "non-functioning cooze drizzler" along with "boil on the ass of humanity".

Where else can you get reviews that paint so real and vivid a picture?

You probably got an erection when you first read the thread title. Then was seriously disappointed when you found out who it was about.
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WDE

The Six

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Re: Death to Dax
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2017, 11:14:07 PM »
I expected a review of the Stanley Kubrick movie "Paths of Glory" starring Kirk Douglass who plays Col. Dax.
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

Snaggletiger

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Re: Death to Dax
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2017, 11:23:39 PM »
You probably got an erection when you first read the thread title. Then was seriously disappointed when you found out who it was about.

An erection because of....Death to an icon?  A trendsetter?  The man who set the standard?  Raised the bar to insurmountable heights?  The prototype that all long snappers strive to be.

No erection here.  You're a sick, sick man.

 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."