Let's forget about us for a second and look at the rest of the league. Will include a chance of beating them with the assumption that Gus unfucks his brain, establishes a single cohesive game plan as well as if he sticks with the fucked up nonsense we've seen with Clint/Kadreel/Barrett/Jonathan/Jeremy/Franklin/Sean.
If Gus had his head out of Lashlee's ass the West is wide open. For second place, that is.
LSU: Just like us there was the promise of improvement, the changing of the staffs and then Brandon Harris was Brandon Harris. I don't see that as being fixable in the short term. They'd be better off putting a headset on the kid and go sink or swim with McMillan or Scott. At least until Narcisse gets there. They are trending down and a middle of the pack team. Our Dline and LBs can stop Fournette (who is likely and understandably looking to save himself for the draft at this point) and if Harris is under center, he cannot throw enough to score on us.
Unfucked chance to win? 74%. Fucked up chance? 20%
Arkansas: Another slow starting fat hog team. Will get better as the year goes on and sadly we get them about the time they'll figure it all out. If the defense stays salty, they won't be able to lean on us. Should have beaten them last year (coaching staff fucked us out of it). Not impressed with Bert and think they are a beatable team.
Unfucked chance to win? 57%. Fucked up chance? 38%
Mississippi State: Not as bad as losing to South Alabama suggests, but this is a really bad team. The problem is that we have the potential to be even worse on offense if something doesn't change quickly.
Unfucked chance to win? 92%. Fucked up chance? 68%
Ole Miss: They want to be the Chad Kelley show and are, after all is said and done still Ole Miss. I'm not sold on Bucky Beaver and look forward to an NCAA raping that will slap them back to the 3-8 mediocrity that defined them for generations. We cannot continue to lose to these ridiculous fucks and be a legitimate football team. Just can't. They aren't that great and showed some significant cracks in the second half against FSU. Still better than I wish they were.
Unfucked chance to win? 48%. Fucked up chance? 14%
Texas A&M: Other than Alabama, probably the best team showing of opening weekend. May end up being second or third in the west and save Drunk Sumlin's coed-chasing job.
Unfucked chance to win? 37%. Fucked up chance? 11%
Alabama: Should be illegal. And is illegal when the rules are enforced. Just when I think I could not hate them more I'm a Sunday "you got some shit smeared on yore back winder, hyuh, hyuh, hyuh" interaction from hating them even more than I did before. They are on a run that is, frankly, unprecedented in the history of college football and something I prayed I would never again see in my lifetime. I hate them not because they are good but because of the unjustified sense of superiority it gives to a legion of fuckholes who have no affiliation with the school other than a desperation-born sense of attachment that in their mind validates the sad, pathetic, powerless lives they lead.
Unfucked chance to win? 10%. Fucked up chance? 0%