I woke up Saturday morning, walked outside, and felt a little different. It was a good different, not the "I forgot to remove the assorted fruit and small mammals from my anus" different. I pondered, what was the cause of this feeling? Was it the announcement that Mr. White was the starting QB? Was it the meth binge I had last week? Like most issues in my life, The only way I would get to the bottom of this mystery was to write my thoughts down in song:
It all became clear...Boom motherbitchers, the taint has been called! So do your kegels, stretch that butthole, maybe a few cock push ups... because football season is officially here.