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Perineum

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Perineum
« on: August 29, 2016, 11:04:16 AM »
I woke up Saturday morning, walked outside, and felt a little different.   It was a good different, not the "I forgot to remove the assorted fruit and small mammals from my anus" different.  I pondered, what was the cause of this feeling?   Was it the announcement that Mr. White was the starting QB?   Was it the meth binge I had last week?  Like most issues in my life, The only way I would get to the bottom of this mystery was to write my thoughts down in song:



It all became clear...Boom motherbitchers, the taint has been called!  So do your kegels, stretch that butthole, maybe a few cock push ups... because football season is officially here. 
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2016, 11:11:59 AM »
It's here!  It's finally here!

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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Saniflush

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2016, 11:18:38 AM »
The coolness of the taint is always memorable.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2016, 11:50:58 AM »
Woot Woot



It's a late taint
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Pell City Tiger

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2016, 11:52:44 AM »
It taint football season until the taint has been called!
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

GH2001

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2016, 11:56:50 AM »
Yes yes yes. Fucking yes.
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WDE

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2016, 01:19:38 PM »
I felt a little taint this morning! It's the most wonderful time!
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2016, 01:33:16 PM »
I felt a little taint this morning! It's the most wonderful time!
sutton taint?
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dallaswareagle

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2016, 01:53:37 PM »
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

djsimp

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2016, 02:00:41 PM »
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chinook

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #10 on: August 29, 2016, 02:44:10 PM »
Woot Woot



It's a late taint...

...like almost i forgot or my taint still is wet from the honeymoon?
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chinook

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #11 on: August 29, 2016, 02:44:43 PM »
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AWK

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #12 on: August 29, 2016, 03:20:14 PM »
...like almost i forgot or my taint still is wet from the honeymoon?
There was taint everywhere.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #13 on: August 29, 2016, 03:32:08 PM »
There was taint everywhere.

The smell must have been atrocious.
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Re: Perineum
« Reply #14 on: August 29, 2016, 03:49:34 PM »
The smell must have been atrocious.
It smelled like flowers and sin.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #15 on: August 29, 2016, 03:55:34 PM »
It smelled like flowers and sin.
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wesfau2

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #16 on: August 29, 2016, 08:40:46 PM »
I knew there had to be a reason for the particularly bothersome case of swamp ass that afflicted me today.

I contribute one greasy, foul taint to this year's calling.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

AWK

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Re: Perineum
« Reply #17 on: August 29, 2016, 09:10:44 PM »
I knew there had to be a reason for the particularly bothersome case of swamp ass that afflicted me today.

I contribute one greasy, foul taint to this year's calling.
And that's why you're my boy.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."