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The Magic Murder Kingdom

Snaggletiger

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #80 on: June 15, 2016, 08:12:49 AM »
Now the alligators are getting in the act.  A gator snatched a 2 year old off the water's edge at the Grand Floridian yesterday.  No sign of him.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #81 on: June 15, 2016, 08:39:08 AM »
We really need to stop these Muslim gators from coming on shore.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

wesfau2

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #82 on: June 15, 2016, 09:12:45 AM »
We really need to stop these Muslim gators from coming on shore.

Fuck you.  That gator is doing the lord's work. 
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Kaos

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #83 on: June 15, 2016, 09:13:21 AM »
This morning Obama denounced those who call the creature an alligator. 

“What exactly would using this label accomplish? What exactly would it change? Would it make carnivorous reptiles less committed to trying to kill small animals, including humans? Would it bring in more herpetologists? Is there a containment strategy that is served by this? The answer is, none of the above. Calling a threat by a different name does not make it go away. This is a political distraction.”

The president added: “There’s no magic to the phrase, ‘alligator.’ It’s a political talking point; it’s not a strategy.”

"Wally Gator, Tick-Tock, Albert,  -- they were all some funny ass alligators that gave us much joy. Are we going to start treating all alligators differently now? Are we going to start subjecting them to special surveillance?" he asked.  "That's what some are suggesting."



Democratic nominee Fuckholery Clinton was quick to note that the attack was isloated.  Clinton said she would put together teams of government and private sector officials to try to identify lone wolf alligators and ensure law enforcement agencies have the resources they need for such efforts.



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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Buzz Killington

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #84 on: June 15, 2016, 09:27:46 AM »
fudge you.  That gator is doing the lord's work.
If lovin' the gator is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Saniflush

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #85 on: June 15, 2016, 09:38:14 AM »
You can stop Hatin' Silky.

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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #86 on: June 15, 2016, 09:48:06 AM »
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GH2001

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #87 on: June 15, 2016, 10:06:34 AM »
This morning Obama denounced those who call the creature an alligator. 

“What exactly would using this label accomplish? What exactly would it change? Would it make carnivorous reptiles less committed to trying to kill small animals, including humans? Would it bring in more herpetologists? Is there a containment strategy that is served by this? The answer is, none of the above. Calling a threat by a different name does not make it go away. This is a political distraction.”

The president added: “There’s no magic to the phrase, ‘alligator.’ It’s a political talking point; it’s not a strategy.”

"Wally Gator, Tick-Tock, Albert,  -- they were all some funny ass alligators that gave us much joy. Are we going to start treating all alligators differently now? Are we going to start subjecting them to special surveillance?" he asked.  "That's what some are suggesting."



Democratic nominee Fuckholery Clinton was quick to note that the attack was isloated.  Clinton said she would put together teams of government and private sector officials to try to identify lone wolf alligators and ensure law enforcement agencies have the resources they need for such efforts.

Homegrown bro
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WDE

Saniflush

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #88 on: June 15, 2016, 10:14:06 AM »
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

wesfau2

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #89 on: June 15, 2016, 10:15:47 AM »
You can stop Hatin' Silky.



A player just wanna kick back with my gators off and watch my little girl blow bubbles...
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Saniflush

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #90 on: June 15, 2016, 10:17:09 AM »

A player just wanna kick back with my gators off and watch my little girl blow bubbles...


Still ready to rhyme.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

The Six

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #91 on: June 15, 2016, 10:53:46 AM »
Y'all do what you want but I'm staying the H E Double hockey sticks out of Florida. Sunshine state my arse.
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

Godfather

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #92 on: June 15, 2016, 11:23:01 AM »
Y'all do what you want but I'm staying the H E Double hockey sticks out of Florida. Sunshine state my arse.
I love it when a plan comes together.
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chinook

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #93 on: June 15, 2016, 11:58:28 AM »
I love it when a plan comes together.

heck when you're a butthole plunger and have a toddler with your life partner why not?
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Pell City Tiger

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #94 on: June 15, 2016, 12:30:40 PM »
My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Snaggletiger

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #95 on: June 15, 2016, 12:34:43 PM »
My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

Well your mama's wrong.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #96 on: June 15, 2016, 01:27:31 PM »
Well your mama's wrong.

I think somethin's wrong with dat boy's medulla oblongata.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #97 on: June 15, 2016, 01:48:57 PM »
And I like Vicki, and she likes me back! And she showed me her boobies, and I like them too!
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ssgaufan

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #98 on: June 15, 2016, 03:04:59 PM »
And I like Snags, and he likes me back! And he showed me his weiner, and I like that too!

 :homo:
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: The Magic Murder Kingdom
« Reply #99 on: June 15, 2016, 03:49:27 PM »
:homo:
Dude, I don't see what someone's personal and sexual life has to do with anything.
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