Once you go Mastiff you never go back

[Buzz Killington]

http://abc3340.com/news/nation-world/florida-woman-accused-of-having-sex-with-her-own-dogs

Florida woman accused of having sex with her own dogs


NAPLES, Fla. (WPEC) - A woman from Naples is accused of having sex with her own dogs.

Miranda Johns, 21, is facing three charges related to sex conduct and contact with an animal, all misdemeanors.

The case began when officers went to interview a man as a possible suspect in a sex battery case against Johns on Monday afternoon.

The man showed detectives a series of disturbing images on his phone that he claimed Johns had sent to him.

The detective said the videos showed Johns having sex with her dogs, according to the police report.

Johns told investigators the man was interested in her having sex with animals and asked for photos of her engaged in sex acts. She told investigators, according to the interview with the detective, he had also shown interest in her having sex with a bigger dog.

Authorities booked Johns into the Naples Jail Center.

[Snaggletiger]

3 dogs were in a cage at the vet and one asked the others, "What are you guys in for?"

The first dog said, "Well, this is it for me.  I have this obsession with attacking the mail man and yesterday, I really got after him and bit him several times.  My owner is having me put down."

The second said, "Yeah, this is my last day too.  My masters had a baby and I got real jealous and nipped at it.  They said they couldn't have that happen ever again so here I am.  What about you?"

The third said, "Well, last night I was walking up the stairs and the bathroom door at the top of the stairs was open.  I looked in and my lady master was naked, leaning over the tub.  I don't know what came over me but next thing I know, I had mounted her up and was pumping for all I was worth."

One of the other dogs said, "Whoa, that's awesome.  Hey, if you got to get put to sleep, that's a damn fine way to go out."

"Put to sleep?  They're not putting me to sleep.  I'm just here to get my nails trimmed."

[chinook]

Lucky Dog...

[Pell City Tiger]

Miranda always liked it (peeks over sunglasses) doggy style.

[dallaswareagle]

I guess Grace got tired of waiting on Will. 

[Lurking Tiger]

I had a Bull Mastiff. He weighed 200 pounds. Named after Sir Charles. And just like his namesake, when he drank, he became amorous. One New Year's Eve a bunch of us were on the deck drinking beer and everyone thought it was funny to pour a little beer on the ground and let Barkley drink it. Sure enough, he started walking around with his pink pencil sticking out.

My brother thought it would be funny to see if the dog would hump something. So he stuck his leg out and the dog climbed on. After five or ten seconds, Chris tried to pull away. The dog would have nothing to do with that. Chris begged for help. All he got was laughter and a chant of 'Barkley, Barkley, Barkley.'

I told him that as soon as the dog lit up a cigarette, that he could probably escape. But there was nothing to do now except to enjoy the ride.

Later that night, Chris went up to my dog and yelled "No means no, you fucker ! "

I almost peed myself.

[Saniflush]

He's got a little Mississippi leg hound in him Clark.  If he lays into ya, I suggest you let him finish.

[Pell City Tiger]

He's got a little Mississippi leg hound in him Clark.  If he lays into ya, I suggest you let him finish.

You don't want him around him if you're wearing short pants, if you know what I mean.

[Godfather]

I had a Bull Mastiff. He weighed 200 pounds. Named after Sir Charles.

Snarls Barkley?

[dallaswareagle]

Snarls Barkley?

Charles Barkee?