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Happy Birthday, Jay

Kaos

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Happy Birthday, Jay
« on: October 07, 2015, 09:28:35 AM »
Fifty five years ago today, Jay Jacobs was spawned upon this earth.   Happy Birthday, fuckhole.

The question that has to be asked as we "celebrate" your life thus far is this:  Is Auburn better for having known you? 

I don't know that it is.   

It's not just football.  It's everything. 

When I was a kid we went to Auburn, found a place to park, cooked out, went to the game, played in the grass, went to J&M to buy some stuff. We sat in our seats in the bleachers, bought crappy hot dogs, cokes and peanuts and had fun in the stands. We heard the band play. It was crowded. It was chaotic. It was a family atmosphere. We were all one big family.  Some of my best memories are of those games.  When I think about those times it's the band, the grass, the sun that are the tableau.

That was what I took my kids to do.  I still remember a friend of my daughters bursting into tears when he saw Carnell and Ronnie sitting in Applebees one night after an afternoon game. They were gracious and funny and engaging.  Made that kid's day by talking to him. 

Now?  The last ten years or so?  It's all been turned into a corporate experience.  There are only certain places you can park.  Big money boosters have reserved spaces. There's a parking deck. The stadium experience now includes shit like Dreamland (Tuscaloosa for fuck's sake) and that pro-footballesque ridiculous television.  i haven't been, but I've seen countless people say it drowns out the band.  Fuck that.  Turn it off.

I hate Jay Jacobs -- that is documented -- but I swear to God, the difference between his smarmy nancy-pants attitude is so far removed from the "I love Auburn and her cherished traditions" attitude of David Housel that is makes me vomit every time I see his fucking cheese-eating face.  He's the antithesis of Housel.  David was a southern gentleman, an Auburn man who treated everybody from the cleanup crew to the COO of the Sugar Bowl with the same respect. He had humility, grace, dignity and personality.  Jacobs is an asshole. He's a snobbish fuck who struts through the pressbox like he's better than people.  David Housel had a knack for making you feel like you were the most important person in the room. Jacobs lets you know nobody is more important than he is.   

That doesn't have anything to do with the football debacle.  But it might.  He hired Gene Chizik primarily because they were the same church denomination.  I don't think he's very smart.  I think he's got too many hands shoved up his ass (Jimmy Rane's for one).  I don't think he had the experience or gravitas to do the job.  He was a fucking ticket selling smarm-shit for fuck's sake before being named AD.  There is no AD in the country any less prepared for that job than he was. 

He's ruining the Auburn I remember and the one I love. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2015, 09:33:45 AM »
Pffffft...the hot dogs are still crappy.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2015, 09:35:50 AM »
Kaos....he speaks for all of us.

Were fucking Oregon of the deep south.
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WDE

Snaggletiger

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2015, 09:38:01 AM »
I have family that worked directly with him for several years.  You speak troof.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2015, 09:38:54 AM »
You nailed it, K.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2015, 09:43:39 AM »
Anyone old enough to remember the monkeys?  I miss the monkeys.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Pell City Tiger

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2015, 10:19:29 AM »
Pffffft...the hot dogs are still crappy.
Yeah, but they are $1 cheaper this season! We have that going for us.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2015, 11:01:15 AM »
Pffffft...the hot dogs are still crappy.

I can attest to this. The hot dogs are crappy and lead to lots of a crappy.
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

AUTiger1

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2015, 11:05:34 AM »
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2015, 11:07:47 AM »
Kaos done went deep, back, back, back, it's gone! Homerun.
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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2015, 11:08:45 AM »
Kaos done went deep, back, back, back, it's gone! Homerun.

Like the Cubs over the Bucs later today.
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War Eagle!!!

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2015, 11:55:14 AM »
I can't like this enough. You are 100% correct!
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2015, 05:49:35 PM »
Like the Cubs over the Bucs later today.

Just stop that now!
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Jumbo

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2015, 07:04:07 PM »
109th in total offense this year thanks Jay.
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

bottomfeeder

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2015, 09:06:32 PM »
Awesome post. We used to tailgate, grandma's fried chicken and potato salad. And sometimes a smoked Turkey sammich from bate's. Yummy. Any who, I haven't been to game since 2001. I guess I'm not missing much.with respect to old venue I cherished.
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eagleair89

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2015, 09:19:18 PM »
Anyone old enough to remember the monkeys?  I miss the monkeys.
  yep.....always parked and tailgated next to the monkeys.....gave them pb&j sandwiches.......good memories.......little orange footballs chinstraps playing on the field after the game fiberglass bleachers (ouch).
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I, We, They.....The Illuminati

Snaggletiger

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2015, 10:03:50 PM »
  yep.....always parked and tailgated next to the monkeys.....gave them pb&j sandwiches.......good memories.......little orange footballs chinstraps playing on the field after the game fiberglass bleachers (ouch).

Thank you.  The monkeys were a must on the way to the stadium, after tailgating in the Drill Field.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2015, 10:35:44 PM »
We always tailgated next to the building behind those cages.  Good times.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Kaos

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2015, 11:13:02 PM »
  yep.....always parked and tailgated next to the monkeys.....gave them pb&j sandwiches.......good memories.......little orange footballs chinstraps playing on the field after the game fiberglass bleachers (ouch).

Gonna date myself here, but I remember going to see Auburn play somebody really crappy like Chattanooga back in the early 70s. 

When the game was over, my grandfather let me go down on the field.  Over by the Auburn bench I found a scrap of tearaway jersey with a piece of a number still on it.  I think it was Terry Henley's.  I kept that scrap of jersey until I was a grown ass man. 

If Jacobs was in charge back then?  You could pay $10 to reserve the right to purchase scraps of jersey for $49.95.  Tigers Unlimited priority donors would have first opportunity to purchase jersey scraps.  Any remaining would be distributed among others who paid the reservation fees.  All who bought jersey scraps would have their name featured on the Mega-Gigantor-Jacobstron for an additional $15 fee.  Priority donors who contributed $15,000 or more would be recognized in a special on-field jersey scrap presentation. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Happy Birthday, Jay
« Reply #19 on: October 08, 2015, 08:08:07 AM »
Gonna date myself here, but I remember going to see Auburn play somebody really crappy like Chattanooga back in the early 70s. 

When the game was over, my grandfather let me go down on the field.  Over by the Auburn bench I found a scrap of tearaway jersey with a piece of a number still on it.  I think it was Terry Henley's.  I kept that scrap of jersey until I was a grown ass man. 

If Jacobs was in charge back then?  You could pay $10 to reserve the right to purchase scraps of jersey for $49.95.  Tigers Unlimited priority donors would have first opportunity to purchase jersey scraps.  Any remaining would be distributed among others who paid the reservation fees.  All who bought jersey scraps would have their name featured on the Mega-Gigantor-Jacobstron for an additional $15 fee.  Priority donors who contributed $15,000 or more would be recognized in a special on-field jersey scrap presentation.
I understand that the college football world in general has gone corporate America. And it started a long time ago. I don't fault Jacobs for following the same path because unfortunately, we'll get left behind if we don't. Jacobs takes it further than needed and appears to think that he's untouchable. Only accountable to the biggest of the big donors. Unfortunately, he's right.

He is incapable of giving us anything close to what David gave us because he's completely tone deaf or simply doesn't care. But he has made some good hires. I will give him that.
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