Also, how the fuck does the defense ALWAYS seem to be in the right place?
I think this has more to do with the timing of the offense than anything.
When a play is slow to develop or if a quarterback doesn't go through his reads fast enough, it gives the defense time to react and get into position.
It's also why it seems like our defense is almost always OUT of position. Why is it that teams can routinely hit curl routes or guys in the flat and have them be seemingly wide open? It's because their QB has protection and can go through his reads and then release the ball quickly.