Cool Story Bro

[GH2001]

I hate that cat.

For some reason, our house has always been a haven for stray cats.  In the 8 years we've lived there, we've probably had 8 different cats take up residence in our garage.  Some will hang out for a few months, some longer but ultimately, they all wind up disappearing.  We have woods next to our house so I don't know if a bobcat or a coyote or other vile creature is killing them.  Welp, lost another one.  Meh.

They're pretty cool for the most part.  We take em' to the clinic once a year and get a rabies shot.  Put a bowl of food out.  They keep the rodent population down and do their own thing.  But the one that's out there now.....gawt damn I'm ready to shoot that bastage.  It's a little killing machine.  There is rarely a day that goes by where that cat doesn't torture and maim some poor creature....in our garage.  We'll walk out and there will be bird feathers everywhere.  Or a mangled skink lizard.  A lot of mice without heads.  Pieces of snake.  She's gutted squirrels bigger than her and presented us with the entrails.  Yesterday, I come home and Snagette tells me there's a wounded chipmunk in the back yard that they saved from the cat.  I go out there and put the little fella in a box to see if he'll live.  He didn't.  So I go outside and what do I find in the garage?  We had taken one play toy away from her...so she went and got another chipmunk family member, ripped it in half and placed it lovingly on the mat at the foot of the stairs.

Stupid cat.  Not there when you need it, either.  Working in the yard this past weekend. I'm walking through the yard and hear this rustling in the bushes. Cat?  No, the cat is 5 feet away under my car yawning.  I look at the bushes and a 4 foot snake comes boogeyin' out right by my feet.  Startled the shit out of me.  Cat just looked at me and said, "Snake almost gotcha' didn't it?"

I hate that cat.

Cool story, bro.   

Cat issue huh?

I take it you don't have a gun or perhaps some anti freeze handy.

F cats. Except Aubie...he's different.

[Snaggletiger]

Cat issue huh?

I take it you don't have a gun or perhaps some anti freeze handy.

F cats. Except Aubie...he's different.

Can't bring myself to off a kitty, except in certain circumstances. There's one cat that lives a block or two over.  He's all about inclusion and diversity because there's a line right down the middle of his face with one side of his face being solid black and the other all white.  We nicknamed him Sneak-A-Peek because it looks like he's...well, you get the idea.  Anyways, Sneak drops by every few days for a bowl.

Sup' Sneak?

Ain't nuthin to it.  Just havin' a bowl.

Cool.  Cool.

Well, this feral cat started coming around and was beating the crap out of our cat.  So Sneak started hanging around to defend his bitch.  They fought all the time.  Went out one time and feral cat had Sneak pinned down.  Grabbed a pellet gun I had in the garage and popped feral.  Hit him just right cause he ran about 20 feet and clunk.  Bye Bye feral.  Sneak went over and kicked the carcass..

"Yeah bitch.  Betchu' won't do that no more."  He walked by to go get a bowl.  "What'dju shoot him for?  I had that shit".

[CCTAU]

Can't bring myself to off a kitty, except in certain circumstances. There's one cat that lives a block or two over.  He's all about inclusion and diversity because there's a line right down the middle of his face with one side of his face being solid black and the other all white.  We nicknamed him Sneak-A-Peek because it looks like he's...well, you get the idea.  Anyways, Sneak drops by every few days for a bowl.

Sup' Sneak?

Ain't nuthin to it.  Just havin' a bowl.

Cool.  Cool.

Well, this feral cat started coming around and was beating the crap out of our cat.  So Sneak started hanging around to defend his bitch.  They fought all the time.  Went out one time and feral cat had Sneak pinned down.  Grabbed a pellet gun I had in the garage and popped feral.  Hit him just right cause he ran about 20 feet and clunk.  Bye Bye feral.  Sneak went over and kicked the carcass..

"Yeah bitch.  Betchu' won't do that no more."  He walked by to go get a bowl.  "What'dju shoot him for?  I had that shit".

The fact that you can carry on a conversation with a cat is very concerning.

What is your first memory of your mother?

[Snaggletiger]

The fact that you can carry on a conversation with a cat is very concerning.

What is your first memory of your mother?

I ain't talkin' bout a bowl of food.

[Godfather]

Can't bring myself to off a kitty, except in certain circumstances. There's one cat that lives a block or two over.  He's all about inclusion and diversity because there's a line right down the middle of his face with one side of his face being solid black and the other all white.  We nicknamed him Sneak-A-Peek because it looks like he's...well, you get the idea.  Anyways, Sneak drops by every few days for a bowl.

Sup' Sneak?

Ain't nuthin to it.  Just havin' a bowl.

Cool.  Cool.

Well, this feral cat started coming around and was beating the crap out of our cat.  So Sneak started hanging around to defend his bitch.  They fought all the time.  Went out one time and feral cat had Sneak pinned down.  Grabbed a pellet gun I had in the garage and popped feral.  Hit him just right cause he ran about 20 feet and clunk.  Bye Bye feral.  Sneak went over and kicked the carcass..

"Yeah bitch.  Betchu' won't do that no more."  He walked by to go get a bowl.  "What'dju shoot him for?  I had that shit".

You need to hire a dentist

[chinook]

You need to hire a dentist

or grow a pair. 

[Pell City Tiger]

F cats. Except Aubie...he's different.

I love Aubie. He's so awesome. He's just so cool. He's not like those other tigers, like that tiger - that lion that was hugging that man. He's not like that. He's really nice. He's never attacked anybody.

[GH2001]

The fact that you can carry on a conversation with a cat is very concerning.

What is your first memory of your mother?

I was more concerned about the talking cats and their gang wars.

[jmar]

I love Aubie. He's so awesome. He's just so cool. He's not like those other tigers, like that tiger - that lion that was hugging that man. He's not like that. He's really nice. He's never attacked anybody.

Yeah, yeah...we know he won't bite. None of 'em will.

[Snaggletiger]

Apparently, my garage continues to be wild kingdom.  Big red wasp buzzing around in there this morning.  My disdain for anything that buzzes and has sharp shit sticking out of their ass is well documented.  There are several cans of Raid strategically placed around my house and this nasty sucker was only 5 feet from a fresh can.  Picked up, aimed, fired and he dropped out of the air and landed in this spider web in the corner. (I really gotta' clean that garage)  Obviously this was not a cool story, bro....until the owner of said web came creeping from behind a board towards the struggling wasp.  A gawt damn black widow.  A LARGE black widow.

Now I can deal with a lot of stuff, but something that can potentially kill you lurking in the corner?  I guess they can kill you.  That's what I always heard.  Don't care, I'd die of a heart attack if one of those got on me.  I had a special can of Raid for that bitch.

[jmar]

Apparently, my garage continues to be wild kingdom.  Big red wasp buzzing around in there this morning.  My disdain for anything that buzzes and has sharp shit sticking out of their ass is well documented.  There are several cans of Raid strategically placed around my house and this nasty sucker was only 5 feet from a fresh can.  Picked up, aimed, fired and he dropped out of the air and landed in this spider web in the corner. (I really gotta' clean that garage)  Obviously this was not a cool story, bro....until the owner of said web came creeping from behind a board towards the struggling wasp.  A gawt damn black widow.  A LARGE black widow.

Now I can deal with a lot of stuff, but something that can potentially kill you lurking in the corner?  I guess they can kill you.  That's what I always heard.  Don't care, I'd die of a heart attack if one of those got on me.  I had a special can of Raid for that bitch.

Just had a discussion with my adult daughter about this Asian giant hornet that has been stalking her near the entrance of the house. Remember seeing one as far back as mid 80's. Looks like the creation of a mad entomologist. All I can say is stay clear of this devil, it's aggressive and the sting is described as feeling like a hot nail. It's also just smaller than a hummingbird. Baddest looking insect I've ever encountered. This is truly one to read up on.

[DnATL]

That makes me the sixth eighth most important thing in that house and I know that.

fixt - there's a couple other things around there much more important (and fun) than you

[GH2001]

Apparently, my garage continues to be wild kingdom.  Big red wasp buzzing around in there this morning.  My disdain for anything that buzzes and has sharp shit sticking out of their ass is well documented.  There are several cans of Raid strategically placed around my house and this nasty sucker was only 5 feet from a fresh can.  Picked up, aimed, fired and he dropped out of the air and landed in this spider web in the corner. (I really gotta' clean that garage)  Obviously this was not a cool story, bro....until the owner of said web came creeping from behind a board towards the struggling wasp.  A gawt damn black widow.  A LARGE black widow.

Now I can deal with a lot of stuff, but something that can potentially kill you lurking in the corner?  I guess they can kill you.  That's what I always heard.  Don't care, I'd die of a heart attack if one of those got on me.  I had a special can of Raid for that bitch.

Well, if you sprayed the wasp well enough, that should take care of the spider if he decides to have him for lunch.

[Godfather]

Well, if you sprayed the wasp well enough, that should take care of the spider if he decides to have him for lunch.

It's science!

[Pell City Tiger]

It's science!

And entertaining. A two-fer of death.

[Godfather]

And entertaining. A two-fer of death.

You normally pay double for that kind of action.

[Snaggletiger]

Look, the black widder wouldn't have died had it eaten the wasp.  The Raid I sprayed on the wasp was specific to flying insects that can kill you.  Has no affect on crawling insects that can kill you. 

[Pell City Tiger]

Look, the black widder wouldn't have died had it eaten the wasp.  The Raid I sprayed on the wasp was specific to flying insects that can kill you.  Has no affect on crawling insects that can kill you.

It sounds to me that a science experiment is needed to prove your hypothesis.

My money is on the statement that anything capable of taking out an ornery walst is more than capable of snuffing out a black widder.

[GH2001]

It sounds to me that a science experiment is needed to prove your hypothesis.

My money is on the statement that anything capable of taking out an ornery walst is more than capable of snuffing out a black widder.

Well, yeah....might as well do it and see. Then if he doesnt die, just pour some gasoline on his ass and throw a match at him.

[Snaggletiger]

Just threw a punctured snake into the woods. Only about a foot long.  Killer Kitty bit it and left it to suffer and writhe in the garage.  Daily diary of wild animals at Snags Estates.