Two more.
First from the holy shit, Batman, what happened files.
Played a course in Phoenix the other day. Not that impressive compared to the other courses I've played out there. Was at a resort, but an older resort and it looked and felt more like a municipal course than a resort locale. Anyhow...
Had to rent clubs and got a set of Nikes. Loved them. Hit every ball well for some reason. Got paired with some Japanese guys who didn't speak much of the english but were decent players. Played the front nine pretty well. Couple of bogies but a birdie on a long putt on eight to finish at one over. Didn't figure I could do much better.
Then the back nine. Keeping up with the Japanese, I parred the first four holes. Bogeyed the fifth. And then angelic lightning struck.
Hit a six iron on fifteen that hit the green, rolled toward the hole and barely ticked off the stick. Three inches from eagle, tap in birdie. Sixteen was a 240-yard Par 4. Hit a 260-yard shot off the tee that rolled up the hill behind the green and back down to the hole. Missed a ten-foot putt for eagle, tap in birdie. Seventeen was a dogleg right par four. 169 to lay up or 239 over some trees to the green. Fuck it, over the trees. Boom. On the green about 30 feet away. Missed the eagle putt by about three feet, slammed home the birdie. Eighteen was a par three, about 160 yards from a teebox that was probably 200 feet above the hole. Dropped a seven iron to about eight feet. Rolled it in. Four straight birdies. Five for the round. I'm lucky to make ONE. Two in a row is a miracle. This? I don't know if I should ever play again. I didn't miss a shot, didn't flub a ball, skull a chip, scuff a putt, nothing. GIR 14 times. I usually average about 210 with the driver. Averaged 245 that day. Just 29 putts. And it was 108 degrees, 10% humidity when I started.
The Japanese guys were keeping score on their ipad. They scored in the mid 70s. I ended at 69. They emailed it to me. Sixty fucking nine. This a week after I struggled through an 96 on Saturday and carded an 83 on Sunday. Sixty fucking nine. My best all time score ever is 68 and that came when I was young, strong and stupid. Scored that playing a nine-hole course back to back and bagged eagles (the only two of my life) on the same par 5 with almost identical shots.
I don't know what to make of it except that I'm selling all the clubs I own and switching to a set of Nikes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And now the Canadian woman.
She was probably late 50s, early 60s but with that wind-beaten face you often see on people from the frozen north that makes them look much older than they really are.
She absolutely detests black people apparently. She called them "nickerbockers"
Some of what she had to say:
>Where they came from there was only one nickerbocker. The people in the town just passed him around to do odd jobs, help with chores and that kind of thing. What else were they for?
> She liked staying on the golf course because there were fewer nickerbockers around. She hated going to the grocery store and being "subjected to their sassy attitudes."
> The ones who did come to the golf course didn't know their place and were a nuisance. They're not Tiger Fucking Woods out there. She doesn't like hearing them hoop and holler like they're in the jungle when they're playing the game.
> She has a daughter and she'd ten times rather her daughter bring home a woman and fuck her on the living room floor than show up with a nickerbocker. She doesn't want her daughter talking to them, associating with them or having any contact with them outside what is required for work or (mostly) when she has to deal with them as servers in a restaurant or store clerks. There's no place for nickerbockers in society.
And more...
What's weird is she didn't know me or any of the guys I was playing with at all. We could have had nickerbocker wives or girlfriends. Nickerbocker parents. But she ranted without hesitation.
Southerners are not the "racists" Never really have been.
15 Replies
4824 Views