Honestly? I didn't know until I read the caption which was which. The first thought in my mind was "PLEASE let the Auburn guy not be the douchenozzle on the left with the nasty hair." And holy crap, his skin. He looks like Sensei from The Karate Kid.
Momma knows which one she'd hit, and which one she'd hit with a shovel.
I think the AU guy looks like the kind of QB that, when you want to take him down? You'd better bring friends. The Turd guy? Just tell him his purse is a Louis Vuitton knock off and his hair looks like Miss Clairol threw up on it, and he'll burst into tears.