He responded with goofy ass text messages.
Not an appropriate response.
Shitting on the windshield is a good one. Also see 'shitting on toothbrush' and 'shitting in her shoes' and 'shitting in purse' So is selling her on Craigslist. Donating all her clothes to goodwill is another quality gesture.
If she doesn't live with you, so is scheduling a yard sale at her house every Saturday morning at 6 a.m. by posting ads on various sites and offering free coffee. Also see 'salting her lawn' and 'using the pressure washer to carve the word 'whore' into the side of her house.'