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Dear Santa

WiregrassTiger

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Dear Santa
« on: December 22, 2014, 10:13:16 PM »
Well, it's been a while. I've decided to break the ice. I want to bury the hatchet. It's been too long since I've written you but I hope you'll understand why.

As you probably know, I'm 47 now and it's been 40 years. I must admit that through the years, there have been some good Christmas mornings and I really do appreciate the nice things that you've sent me. I guess you may be wondering why I haven't written you a letter since I was 7.

If you recall, the year was 1975 and I specifically asked for a Red Ryder BB gun, an Evil Knievel motorcycle that you wind up and watch him pop a wheelie, a Western Flyer bicycle like was at the Western Auto hardware store and surprises.

I had been good that year. So, I was surprised when all that I received was some dominos and a belt.

I wrote you a nasty letter but I never sent it. I've remained quiet all of these years out of respect for your position and I realize that there are less fortunate souls in the world that likely received less that year. If I remember correctly, it was the beginning of the Carter administration and we knew it was the beginning of a world of shit.

Anywho, I just wanted to say that I'm over it. I'm a big boy now and whatever you bring, I'm cool with it. I'm especially cool with cash.

If you could arrange for a visit from Jennifer Anniston, it would be most appreciated. Also, if you could arrange to do something with the bitch I'm sleeping with for a couple of hours if you do bring her, that would be really cool too.

I'll leave you some milk and cookies as always.

You're the best, WT
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bgreene

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Re: Dear Santa
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2014, 11:37:19 PM »
Well, it's been a while. I've decided to break the ice. I want to bury the hatchet. It's been too long since I've written you but I hope you'll understand why.

As you probably know, I'm 47 now and it's been 40 years. I must admit that through the years, there have been some good Christmas mornings and I really do appreciate the nice things that you've sent me. I guess you may be wondering why I haven't written you a letter since I was 7.

If you recall, the year was 1975 and I specifically asked for a Red Ryder BB gun, an Evil Knievel motorcycle that you wind up and watch him pop a wheelie, a Western Flyer bicycle like was at the Western Auto hardware store and surprises.

I had been good that year. So, I was surprised when all that I received was some dominos and a belt.

I wrote you a nasty letter but I never sent it. I've remained quiet all of these years out of respect for your position and I realize that there are less fortunate souls in the world that likely received less that year. If I remember correctly, it was the beginning of the Carter administration and we knew it was the beginning of a world of shit.

Anywho, I just wanted to say that I'm over it. I'm a big boy now and whatever you bring, I'm cool with it. I'm especially cool with cash.

If you could arrange for a visit from Jennifer Anniston, it would be most appreciated. Also, if you could arrange to do something with the bitch I'm sleeping with for a couple of hours if you do bring her, that would be really cool too.

I'll leave you some milk and cookies as always.

You're the best, WT

Jennifer Anniston will no longer be available since I have asked for her to be my new wife.

Thank you, that is all.
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"Men are made stronger on the realization that the helping hand they need is at the end of their own arm."

                -Sidney Phillips

GH2001

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Re: Dear Santa
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2014, 11:17:57 AM »
Jennifer Anniston will no longer be available since I have asked for her to be my new wife.

Thank you, that is all.

The woman doesnt age. And its not in a "she has plenty of money to keep herself looking young with treatments and surgery" kind of way like many of them are.

Its not fair how nature discriminates.
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WDE

Vandy Vol

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Re: Dear Santa
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2014, 12:14:51 AM »
The woman doesnt age. And its not in a "she has plenty of money to keep herself looking young with treatments and surgery" kind of way like many of them are.

Its not fair how nature discriminates.

While I'm sure nature plays a rather significant part, I feel like many celebrities don't age as poorly as the general public does due to their ability to afford personal trainers, dieticians, spa treatments, etc.
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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

bgreene

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Re: Dear Santa
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2014, 03:17:05 AM »
While I'm sure nature plays a rather significant part, I feel like many celebrities don't age as poorly as the general public does due to their ability to afford personal trainers, dieticians, spa treatments, etc.

Pfft... speak for yourself.  I'm like a fine wine.
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"Men are made stronger on the realization that the helping hand they need is at the end of their own arm."

                -Sidney Phillips