One of my New Year's resolutions is going to be to try and avoid discussing football with any fan other than an Auburn fan. Won't happen but I'm going to try. The delusion that runs rampant throughout the college football world is mind blowing. I know this is a rehash and I really have no idea why these people wanted to get in the way back machine, but I got dragged into it too.
Had a family Christmas get together this weekend in Atlanta. We did things a little different this year so there were about twice the people there that we normally have. The liquor flowed and after dinner, it was just men at the table discussing politics and of course, football. The women were where they were supposed to be, cleaning the kitchen. Probably 4 different fan bases represented at the table, from AU to Bama to Florida and of all things, Texas A & M.
Since part of the night was a fog, I have no idea how the conversation came around to Cam Newton. But suddenly, there we were with the accusations about Cam flying around the table.
Florida Fan: He's nothing but a thug, punk ass bitch. As bad as we ever had at Florida.
Me: What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, the guy got popped for having a stolen computer. He screwed up and paid the price.
Florida: Oh he did way more than that.
Me: Like what?
Florida: Do you know what it takes to get kicked out of Florida?
Me: He got kicked off the football team. What else did he do to be a thug, punk ass bitch?
Florida: Urban Meyer covered up so much stuff on this guy that it's unreal.
Me: He did? How do you know this?
Florida: Meyer is the worst coach in college football. He was covering up crap on all his players. Do you know what it takes to get kicked out of Florida?
Me: He got kicked off the football team. What else did Cam do that makes him a thug?
A&M Fan: He took hundreds of thousands to play at Auburn. That makes him a thug.
Me: Really? Since the NCAA and FBI said he didn't, please tell me how you know this.
A&M: I personally know the guy that gave it to him.
Me:
A&M: I do know the guy. (Turns to his friend and says, "Remember when Tony told us that in the student lounge?) And it was way more than $180K
Me: You're a freshman in college. You were what...14 years old when this was going on? The FBI investigated it and found nothing but you know it's fact because a guy in gym class told you? Would you listen to yourself.
Florida: Oh he took the money. He was the biggest thug we ever had at Florida.
Me: No, I think murder trumps a stolen laptop there Aaron Hernandez.
Florida: Do you know what it takes to get kicked out of Florida?
Bama Fan: I know for a fact Newton took close to $500K.
Me: Oh don't make me go there with your program.
Bama: I'm not saying we haven't had a couple of things in the past.
Me: A COUPLE????
Bama: I know Nick Marshall's family and that boy is known to be the biggest dope smoker on the planet. He smokes dope every day of his life.
Me: He attends school in Auburn. You know this how?
Bama: I know his family.
Me: What's his mama's name?
Bama: Cam took half a million to play at Auburn.
Florida: He did take the money. Cam is right on par with Jaimes Winston.
Me: What???? You've lost your damn mind.
Florida: If you knew the stuff he did at Florida...
Me: I'm still waiting on you to tell me what he did.
Florida: Meyer was a crook. He covered up more stuff than you can imagine.
Me: Looks to me like Cam left and won a championship so now he's a thug. Meyer left and your team is playing in Birmingham while Meyer is playing for it all, so now he's a crook. I think I understand now.
Bama: He took a pay cut to go to the NFL. Yuk Yuk Yuk
Me: Look, Tom Al Betar
Bama: Who is that?
Florida: Do you know what it takes to get kicked out of Florida?
Me:
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