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OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House

djsimp

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OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House
« on: December 19, 2014, 10:04:09 AM »
http://empirenews.net/bin-laden-shooter-rob-oneill-mistakenly-attacked-by-street-thugs-seeking-to-collect-debt-from-neighbor/

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Bin Laden Shooter Rob O’Neill Mistakenly Attacked By Street Thugs Seeking To Collect Debt From Neighbor
Posted on December 15, 2014 by Raoul Stockton in Headlines, Weird News

BUTTE, Montana

Robert O’Neill, the former United States Navy SEAL who shot and killed Osama Bin Laden, had his home mistakenly invaded by members of a street gang this morning shortly after 1AM. O’Neill was uninjured, the five intruders all suffered injuries and remain hospitalized, but are expected to make a full recovery. Their names were not released in anticipation of the oncoming media storm.

Butte Police Commissioner Bartholomew S. Harrington told members of the Associated Press in a brief press conference that the five men, part of a local street gang connected with the infamous Crips, were seeking to collect on a drug debt and invaded the wrong house, with the intended target just so happening to be the next door neighbor of O’Neill’s.


 
“Mr. O’Neill had just turned in for the night, but was awoken by a loud crash when his backdoor was abruptly kicked in. As the five thugs ran aimlessly through the home, Mr. O’Neill used silent hand-to-hand combat tactics to individually disarm them of their weapons.  Once Mr. O’Neill had taken down the five men and secured his home, he brewed a pot of coffee and called the police station. Those boys sure did find the wrong house!” commissioner Harrington said as he chuckled.

O’Neill had little to say on the matter when Butte Daily Times journalist Kevin Williamson interviewed the celebrated war hero.

“It was nothing really. Those kids didn’t have their mission planned out properly and hit the wrong target. I hated to break their wrists and dislocate each of their knees like I did, but it was necessary in order to immobilize the invasion. I hope they get the money that is owed to them once they get out of jail and decide to live better lives. My main concern is getting my back door fixed. Those boys really did a number on the door jamb,” O’Neill stated.

The neighbor who was the intended target seems to have abandoned home and has not been found by police. According to the men in custody, the debt was over a $50 bag of marijuana.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2014, 10:08:47 AM »
That sounds like some Bill Brasky/Chuck Norris/Bill Clark shenanigans right there.

I disarmed 5 men with my bare hands and brewed a pot of coffee.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

dallaswareagle

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Re: OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2014, 10:19:18 AM »
Civilians are so funny and plan so poorly.
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

djsimp

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Re: OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2014, 10:25:50 AM »
Thugs in Montana are really dumb.
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djsimp

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Re: OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2014, 10:26:39 AM »
That sounds like some Bill Brasky/Chuck Norris/Bill Clark shenanigans right there.

I disarmed 5 men with my bare hands and brewed a pot of coffee.

I LOL'd when I read this part.
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dallaswareagle

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Re: OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2014, 10:31:51 AM »
Thugs in Montana are really dumb.


Montana gang:

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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

djsimp

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Re: OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2014, 10:50:40 AM »
$50 bad of weed for an ass kicking of a lifetime. Priceless.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2014, 11:04:50 AM »
I hate to be that guy, but after reading this, I knew that this was something that only Chuck Norris, Bill Clark or WT would be capable of. It was satire. But very good satire. It had me for a while.

"On Monday, December 15, a story began circulating through the internet regarding a burglary attempt on the home of Butte Native and former Navy Seal Robert O’Neill, now known as the man who shot Osama bin Laden.

The story began its life on Empire News, a satirical website that doesn’t go out of its way to inform readers that it is a humor site.


Read More: Butte Police Call "BS" on Burglary Story Featuring Osama Bin Laden Shooter Robert O'Neill | http://newstalkkgvo.com/butte-police-call-bs-on-burglary-story-featuring-osama-bin-laden-shooter-robert-oneill/?trackback=tsmclip
http://newstalkkgvo.com/butte-police-call-bs-on-burglary-story-featuring-osama-bin-laden-shooter-robert-oneill/
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djsimp

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Re: OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2014, 11:36:49 AM »
I hate to be that guy, but after reading this, I knew that this was something that only Chuck Norris, Bill Clark or WT would be capable of. It was satire. But very good satire. It had me for a while.

"On Monday, December 15, a story began circulating through the internet regarding a burglary attempt on the home of Butte Native and former Navy Seal Robert O’Neill, now known as the man who shot Osama bin Laden.

The story began its life on Empire News, a satirical website that doesn’t go out of its way to inform readers that it is a humor site.


Read More: Butte Police Call "BS" on Burglary Story Featuring Osama Bin Laden Shooter Robert O'Neill | http://newstalkkgvo.com/butte-police-call-bs-on-burglary-story-featuring-osama-bin-laden-shooter-robert-oneill/?trackback=tsmclip
http://newstalkkgvo.com/butte-police-call-bs-on-burglary-story-featuring-osama-bin-laden-shooter-robert-oneill/

You suck.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: OH SHIT BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2014, 11:43:43 AM »
You suck.

Don't encourage him.  He didn't start looking for that until he read my Chuck Norris/Bill Brasky/Bill Clark shenanigans post.   
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Buzz Killington

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Re: OH shoot BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2014, 11:56:49 AM »
Just so we're clear though.  That really could have been Bill Clark.  Don't try to steal his pot.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: OH shoot BRUH! Wrong House
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2014, 12:41:53 PM »
Just so we're clear though.  That really could have been Bill Clark.  Don't try to steal his pot.
Bill Clark would not have let any of these men live to talk.
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