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BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit

AUChizad

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BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« on: September 10, 2014, 02:40:05 PM »
http://www.theplainsman.com/view/full_story/25746389/article-Updyke-not-down-to-pay?instance=home_news_1st_right

Quote
Updyke not down to pay
by Brian Stultz | Campus Writer
2 hours ago | 2698 views | 0 0 comments | 4 4 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Updyke
Harvey Updyke owes $796,731.98 in restitution to Auburn University for poisoning the famous Oaks at Toomer’s Corner.

Currently, he has paid $99 to the University.

According to April Brown of the Elmore County Clerk’s Office in Wetumpka, Updyke made one payment of $100, with a $1 processing charge, and has not made a payment since.

Updyke was ordered by Lee County Circuit Judge Jacob Walker III on December 2013 to make monthly payments of $500. Citing substantial hardship, Updyke’s attorney Margaret Brown requested the monthly payment be $50 instead of the $500, but the request was denied.

“Let’s face it, he will never be able to pay off the entire debt he owes,” said Clay Ogata of Auburn. “The fact he has only paid that little of an amount in almost a year is a joke.”

Updyke served six months in prison, part of his sentence, and is currently on five years of supervised probation. One of the terms of the probation is making the monthly payments. If he fails to do so, he could have his probation revoked.

April Lyon of Auburn wonders if he is making any effort at all.

“I understand that he might have financial difficulties, but at some point he has to pay the price for his actions,” Lyon said. “Paying just $99 over the course of nine months is him getting past the system.”

In a statement after Updyke’s release, attorney Andrew Stanley said, “He doesn’t want to have to deal with this anymore. He wants to pay his money back and be done with the five years, and never be heard from again.”

Despite this, Updyke has remained a constant presence on Twitter and recently made national news when he agreed to appear in a dunk tank at a charity event in Mobile. His appearance was canceled after organizers of the event claimed to have received death threats.

After construction and replacement of soil, the soil around Samford Park at Toomer’s Corner was declared poison free for the first time in three years on May 2.

Future oak trees are scheduled to be planted in early 2015 and will grow in a high-tech environment that will maximize their chances of living, according to Auburn University’s Office of Communications and Marketing.

“It was sad when they cut the old trees down but the new ones will bring so many great memories for years to come,” Ogata said. “Hopefully I will be taking my kids there for years to come.”

Efforts to contact both Updyke and attorney Andrew Stanley were unsuccessful.

Fucking lock him away for life. Or kill him one. Or at the very least revoke his goddamn plea agreement that he's not even close to complying with.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2014, 02:51:33 PM »
Oh come on. We need to let this little isolated incident go.  After all, one of very own hung a Scam Newton jersey on the Bear's statue.  Fair is fair.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of shoot
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2014, 02:54:26 PM »
If it makes you feel any better this is pretty much how all criminals pay restitution and fees. It is doubly insulting that his lawyer agreed to make a statement for him knowing that he was dealing with "financial hardship".

I've been waiting for this asshole to get a book published, but now I'm looking for a book published under a clever pseudonym. 
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totally unreasonable

Buzz Killington

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2014, 03:05:38 PM »
How is he affording all those trips to Tuscaloosa and Atlanta then?  Especially since his entire fanbase has turned their collective backs on him.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Saniflush

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2014, 03:37:09 PM »
ESPN just picked up the story although I expect them to change the headline to something along the lines of "Mean ole Auburn making UpDyke go into the po house"
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

AUChizad

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2014, 04:03:01 PM »
Quote
@McMurphyESPN
If he bet on Auburn last 13 games, he’d have it paid off RT @CFBHeather: Updyke has paid just $99 of ordered $796K http://es.pn/1CSH0Xv
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Tiger Wench

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2014, 11:03:25 PM »
Then post a guard on him and make him clean up the stadium after games.  Make him clean up the toilet paper off the Corner after we win.  Make him scrape up gum off the Concourse. 

Fuck the money.  Take it out of his hide.  Fucking rat bastard.

If you or I don't pay, back to jail we go.  Why does he get a pass?
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djsimp

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2014, 11:09:12 PM »
I actually think this may become a blessing in disguise.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2014, 09:58:22 AM »
See, it's like my situation.  Just because I didn't register as a sex offender last month, they picked me up and threw.....wait, I mean.....that sorry rat bastage, Updyke.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2014, 10:50:23 AM »
I'll kill him.  Wouldn't bother me.  But only if I also get to take out Legend, all of Updyke's children, anybody who named their child "Crimson, Tyde, Saban, Nick, Bear, or Ally Bammer"   and another 2500 random fans chosen at a whim.   

I'd like to do it incognito so that they never knew when I'd hit or where I'd be so that they'd be less likely to verbally or visually assault people like they do now. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

jmar

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2014, 11:29:09 AM »
I'll kill him.  Wouldn't bother me.  But only if I also get to take out Legend, all of Updyke's children, anybody who named their child "Crimson, Tyde, Saban, Nick, Bear, or Ally Bammer"   and another 2500 random fans chosen at a whim.   

I'd like to do it incognito so that they never knew when I'd hit or where I'd be so that they'd be less likely to verbally or visually assault people like they do now.
We would need to outfit you in a costume of sorts and have you carry a unique weapon maybe...and a trademark YES, you will most certainly need to leave a sign or mark (perhaps a roll of toilet paper) identifying you as the one and only vigilante avenging the Toomer Oaks.
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GH2001

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2014, 01:05:58 PM »
We would need to outfit you in a costume of sorts

No problem there. I think he's got one.
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WDE

Saniflush

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2014, 01:15:21 PM »
No problem there. I think he's got one.

MEOOOOOOOOOOW
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2014, 01:42:52 PM »
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Saniflush

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2014, 01:43:29 PM »
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Godfather

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #15 on: September 11, 2014, 01:44:28 PM »
The Long KISS Goodnight
KISS him goodbye
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of shoot
« Reply #16 on: September 11, 2014, 01:53:27 PM »
The Grim Kisser.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #17 on: September 11, 2014, 01:55:01 PM »
The Crimson KISS
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

jmar

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #18 on: September 11, 2014, 02:09:02 PM »
Hairballs?
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Buzz Killington

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Re: BREAKING: Updyke Still a Human Piece of Shit
« Reply #19 on: September 11, 2014, 02:16:00 PM »
KISS me deadly
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.