Things I learned from Week One of the NFL.
1) I really don't give much of a shit about the NFL. Only watched parts of a few games. Don't even know who won most of them. Don't care enough to find out.
2) Mark Ingram is the biggest punk ass bitch in the league. He hasn't done shit for two years, has a mediocre game and struts, preens, stalks and prances like he's a combination of Walter Payton and Barry Sanders. If he were on my team I'd beat his ass like they beat Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket. They could flag that chubby Ewok for douchmanlike conduct after every three-yard gain. I've rarely hated a player as much as I despise that bubbling turd.
New Orleans Saints running back Mark Ingram had a fiery, helmet-slamming outburst on the sideline Sunday, and later appeared to decline a post-touchdown handshake from coach Sean Payton.
3) Further proof that the Saints are cheaters? Guess who joined their coverage team for NOLA this season? Evan Woodbery.
4) Hate to say this, but the Panthers might be better of with the other guy playing QB. Mike Shula has no idea what to do with Cam. He knows what to do with a moderately talented, slow white guy because he can relate to him. As much as I want to like the Panthers, I hope Cam finds a better home after this season. He could be a major star, one of the best in NFL history but he's not going to get that or get there with defense-minded Rivera and doodlebutt Shula. They shouldn't have released Steve Smith, either.
5) Broncos suck. Won but suck.
6) Slow your roll on the Dolphins.
7) The Ravens are punks. NFL did what they did to Ray Rice. I'm sorry there is a video now, but releasing the guy today was a punk move. It's double jeopardy.
8) Seahawks and 49ers both look like quality teams. Beyond that, it's a miasma of mediocrity across the rest of the league. Of course the 'Hawks get there by cheating their asses off. Carroll was a cheater at USC and is a cheater (and a twat) in Seattle.
9) RGIII is going to be a long-term bust. He's not going to be all the media wants him to be but they will go to the ends of the earth to prop him up as such.
10) Hope Whore Webb-McCarron saved some of that Hardees money.