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Things I've been hearing that make me laugh

Kaos

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Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« on: July 01, 2014, 10:29:14 PM »
1) Dak Prescott is probably the best quarterback in the SEC. Heisman.
1a) Beaux Wallace is probably the best quarterback in the SEC. Heisman.
1b) Jacob Coker will be the best quarterback in the SEC
1b.1) Jacob Coker is a legitimate Heisman contender
1c) Whoever Sumlin coaches will be the best quarterback in the SEC. Heisman.

2) This is Mississippi State's year, got a great chance to win the West.  Worst case scenario 10-2. Wins over LSU and Auburn are locks.
2b) Ole Miss is stacked. Sleeper pick to win the West.  Worst case scenario 11-1. May only lose to Bama.

3) Arkansas has the best backfield in the SEC. Going to run over people.
3a) Georgia has the nation's best backfield.

4) Georgia won't miss a beat without Murray
4a) Alabama will be better without McCarron

5) Auburn won't sneak up on anybody this year
5a) Auburn won't be able to run the ball this year like they did last
5c) Auburn won't have that luck any more
5d) Best case scenario for Auburn is four losses
« Last Edit: July 01, 2014, 10:33:36 PM by Kaos »
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Tiger Wench

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2014, 01:02:16 AM »
Had a drunken asshole tOSU fan tell me over the weekend that Braxton Miller will be a better QB in his second year, but Nick Marshall was a terrible QB, who hampered our efforts last year and kept us from winning the BCS, that a second year in Gus's system won't benefit him at all, his passing game stands no chance of improvement, and this year would be more of the same like 2012 because no one will ever fill Tre Mason's shoes. When Tre didn't come back, we lost all hope.  And we have no wide receivers and huge holes at defense since that "one guy" left.

And the SEC is the worst conference, that tOSU routinely plays a tougher schedule than any SEC team, and tOSU would be in the Final Four and no SEC team would be represented.

Oh, and Urbz is a fucking genius and Malzahn is a gimmicky one trick pony.

To which I responded, "So how'd that Michigan State game work out for ya last year?  Can't play for Crystal if you don't take care of business. Guess that one trick pony was good for a ride all the way to Pasadena."

No response other than "That was a fluke."

As for the rest, I just nodded and smiled, and said I'd see him come December and we'd talk then. He is a scuzball anyway, a tOSU equivalent to a Turd, convinced of his own greatness and superiority, complete with cheap tats and a GED.   This fine individual is dating my niece, who is a psycho in her own right, so I wish them much happiness and well written domestic abuse reports.
« Last Edit: July 02, 2014, 01:04:34 AM by Tiger Wench »
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dallaswareagle

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2014, 07:27:48 AM »
Had a drunken asshole tOSU fan tell me over the weekend that Braxton Miller will be a better QB in his second year, but Nick Marshall was a terrible QB, who hampered our efforts last year and kept us from winning the BCS, that a second year in Gus's system won't benefit him at all, his passing game stands no chance of improvement, and this year would be more of the same like 2012 because no one will ever fill Tre Mason's shoes. When Tre didn't come back, we lost all hope.  And we have no wide receivers and huge holes at defense since that "one guy" left.

And the SEC is the worst conference, that tOSU routinely plays a tougher schedule than any SEC team, and tOSU would be in the Final Four and no SEC team would be represented.

Oh, and Urbz is a fucking genius and Malzahn is a gimmicky one trick pony.

To which I responded, "So how'd that Michigan State game work out for ya last year?  Can't play for Crystal if you don't take care of business. Guess that one trick pony was good for a ride all the way to Pasadena."

No response other than "That was a fluke."

As for the rest, I just nodded and smiled, and said I'd see him come December and we'd talk then. He is a scuzball anyway, a tOSU equivalent to a Turd, convinced of his own greatness and superiority, complete with cheap tats and a GED.   This fine individual is dating my niece, who is a psycho in her own right, so I wish them much happiness and well written domestic abuse reports.



At least the Texas fans are still under their suck rock.
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jmar

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2014, 08:05:51 AM »


At least the Texas fans are still under their suck rock.
...cause it's a bigger suck rock than everybody elses.
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wesfau2

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2014, 08:40:47 AM »
5a) Auburn won't be able to run the ball this year like they did last

This is my favorite.  I've got an unrelated bet (Ole Miss will finish no better than 4th in the West) with an Arky fan over at woopig who made a version of the "argument" quoted above.  To paraphrase: Malzahn only ran 4-5 plays all last year and all the DCs will have caught up with him.

My retort: In 8 collegiate seasons, Malzahn has had 11 1000+ yard rushers.  No one has caught up yet.
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The Six

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2014, 08:43:19 AM »
My retort: In 8 collegiate seasons, Malzahn has had 11 1000+ yard rushers.  No one has caught up yet.


That's 'cause he moves a lot. Mayflower can't catch up with this guy.  :sarcasm:
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GH2001

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2014, 09:55:32 AM »
This is my favorite.  I've got an unrelated bet (Ole Miss will finish no better than 4th in the West) with an Arky fan over at woopig who made a version of the "argument" quoted above.  To paraphrase: Malzahn only ran 4-5 plays all last year and all the DCs will have caught up with him.

My retort: In 8 collegiate seasons, Malzahn has had 11 1000+ yard rushers.  No one has caught up yet.

So UGA and Bammer had all season and a year's worth of tape to dissect those 4-5 plays, and still couldn't "catch up". If your friend's premise is true, does that say more about them than us?
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WDE

Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2014, 09:56:05 AM »
So Mississippi State is supposed to get over the hump, Hugh Freeze is the real hot new coach in the SEC, Alabama is loaded past NFL teams, LSU is a solid #2 and is the game of the year for Alabama, and Auburn will be Auburn who always loses and has never actually won anything.

So pretty much, the exact same predictions we've been hearing every year since 2007. 
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GH2001

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2014, 10:03:48 AM »


At least the Texas fans are still under their suck rock.

Outside of Austin, they have always been most of their existence - to the rest of the country. Aside from having Vince Young or Earl Campbell, have they ever struck fear in anyone?

70 years of racking wins against a cumulative .500 opponent winning % with no more titles to show for it than many teams in D1. They are just a bigger version of UGA with a lot less competition and more resources at their disposal. At least UGA has played in a real conference the last 75 years.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2014, 10:05:18 AM »
Talking to a couple of friends the other night that are MSU grads, and they both said that "all the pieces were in place" for them to have a special season.  This is the year they beat Auburn, LSU and bammer.  My tongue now has several tooth shaped holes in it.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

GH2001

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2014, 10:08:17 AM »
Talking to a couple of friends the other night that are MSU grads, and they both said that "all the pieces were in place" for them to have a special season.  This is the year they beat Auburn, LSU and bammer.  My tongue now has several tooth shaped holes in it.

If by beat all 3 of those they mean 0-3.....

 :facepalm:
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Godfather

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #11 on: July 02, 2014, 10:28:44 AM »
2) This is Mississippi State's year, got a great chance to win the West.  Worst case scenario 10-2. Wins over LSU and Auburn are locks.
2b) Ole Miss is stacked. Sleeper pick to win the West.  Worst case scenario 11-1. May only lose to Bama.

The rest I could believe people saying, but who the fuck said these idiotic things?  What were they smoking when they said it? and where can Wes get some?
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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #12 on: July 02, 2014, 10:30:04 AM »
As for the rest, I just nodded and smiled, and said I'd see him come December and we'd talk then. He is a scuzball anyway, a tOSU equivalent to a Turd, convinced of his own greatness and superiority, complete with cheap tats and a GED.   This fine individual is dating my niece, who is a psycho in her own right, so I wish them much happiness and well written domestic abuse reports.
tOSU fans are just under turd status IMO anyways, self entitled assholes.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #13 on: July 02, 2014, 10:31:43 AM »
tOSU fans are just under turd status IMO anyways, self entitled assholes.

IMO they are worse, damn yankee bammers.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Tiger Wench

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #14 on: July 02, 2014, 11:07:58 AM »
IMO they are worse, damn yankee bammers.

They run a very very close second.  We are acquainted with quite a few because the company the Corndog works for was originally HQ in Grove City, OH.  They still have offices up there, but lots of their employees got moved to Houston.  So they are a presence at social events equivalent to a turd in the punch bowl.  Or a Turd anywhere.

Texas fans are just bammers with money - arrogant, etc. - but at least they bathe and don't beat their wives and shit.  They suffer in silence, but are convinced Charlie is their Moses. 
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Godfather

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #15 on: July 02, 2014, 01:07:44 PM »
They run a very very close second. 
troof
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AUTiger1

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #16 on: July 02, 2014, 02:18:03 PM »
So Mississippi State is supposed to get over the hump, Hugh Freeze is the real hot new coach in the SEC, Alabama is loaded past NFL teams, LSU is a solid #2 and is the game of the year for Alabama, and Auburn will be Auburn who always loses and has never actually won anything.

So pretty much, the exact same predictions we've been hearing every year since 2007 we've had a program.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #17 on: July 02, 2014, 02:30:40 PM »
This is my favorite.  I've got an unrelated bet (Ole Miss will finish no better than 4th in the West) with an Arky fan over at woopig who made a version of the "argument" quoted above.  To paraphrase: Malzahn only ran 4-5 plays all last year and all the DCs will have caught up with him.

My retort: In 8 collegiate seasons, Malzahn has had 11 1000+ yard rushers.  No one has caught up yet.

Malzahn has also had five 1,000-yard receivers and three 3,000-yard passers. He has had two 1,000-yard rushers in the same season three times: 2013 (Auburn), 2010 (Auburn) and 2006 (Arkansas). His 2007 Tulsa team had three 1,000-yard receivers.  (from auburntigers.com)
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The Six

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #18 on: July 02, 2014, 02:45:31 PM »
Malzahn has also had five 1,000-yard receivers and three 3,000-yard passers. He has had two 1,000-yard rushers in the same season three times: 2013 (Auburn), 2010 (Auburn) and 2006 (Arkansas). His 2007 Tulsa team had three 1,000-yard receivers.  (from auburntigers.com)

But Pawwwwl, ain't nun of em as good as HOOOLIO wuz!
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GH2001

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Re: Things I've been hearing that make me laugh
« Reply #19 on: July 02, 2014, 04:12:25 PM »
But Pawwwwl, ain't nun of em as good as HOOOLIO wuz!

ole scam newtun wuz-a-paid fer...thayut dont count does now pawwwll?
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WDE