a to the L to the dot to the I am a gay twerker that has no balls!!!! I also have no idea how to use the quote function to post stories, so I annoy the piss out of others. I like male genatalia in and around my mouth. Top 25

[Snaggletiger]

And we play 7 of these.  For your viewing pleasure

'Tis the season for way-too-early Top 25 polls. ESPN and Athlon each recently released their takes on what a preseason top 25 ought to look like, with each selecting defending national champion Florida State No. 1 with Alabama and Auburn both in the top five.

Alabama is No. 2 and Auburn No. 4 on ESPN's list, while Athlon has Alabama No. 2 and Auburn No. 5. Sports Illustrated, which released a preseason top 25 back in January, had Alabama No. 2 and Auburn No. 6.

Since everyone else seems to be throwing their two cents worth out there, AL.com decided we should, too. We polled five AL.com writers who cover college football -- Auburn beat writers Joel Erickson and Brandon Marcello, Alabama beat writers Andrew Gribble and Michael Casagrande, and myself, the SEC writer -- and compiled their votes into a way-too-early AL.com preseason Top 25.

While ESPN, Athlon and Sports Illustrated all give Alabama the edge over Auburn heading into the 2014 season, our AL.com poll has Auburn second and Alabama third behind Florida State, which claimed all five first-place votes.

Eight SEC teams made the poll, with two others -- Mississippi State and Florida -- getting votes. ESPN had seven SEC teams in its list, while Athlon and Sports Illustrated both included eight.

The AL.com Way-Too-Early 2014 preseason poll, with point totals:

1.   Florida State -- 125

2.   Auburn -- 118

3.   Alabama -- 111

4.   Oklahoma --108

5. (tie) Ohio State -- 104

6. (tie) Oregon -- 104 (They're just so fast)

7.   Baylor -- 91

8.   Michigan State -- 87

9.   Georgia -- 84

10. (tie) Stanford -- 77

11. (tie) UCLA -- 77

12.  South Carolina -- 74

13.  LSU -- 65

14.  Notre Dame -- 49

15.  Wisconsin -- 45

16.  Clemson --35

17.  USC -- 33

18.  Arizona State -- 29

19.  Texas A&M -- 26

20.  Kansas State -- 23

21. (tie)  Nebraska -- 22

21. (tie)  Ole Miss -- 22

23. (tie)  Washington -- 15

23. (tie)  North Carolina -- 15

25.  Missouri -- 14

Others receiving votes: Oklahoma State, Texas Tech, Mississippi State, Texas, Louisville, Florida, Central Florida, Penn State, BYU, Michigan.

[AWK]

Holy shit fuck, you mean to tell me that AL.com has posted the most rational top 25 that I have yet to see...

[Saniflush]

Holy shit fuck, you mean to tell me that AL.com has posted the most rational top 25 that I have yet to see...

They just need to sell fish wrap.

[Buzz Killington]

Holy shit fuck, you mean to tell me that AL.com has posted the most rational top 25 that I have yet to see...

Somebody gonna get fired

[Kaos]

Under orders to "motivate" Saban. 

[Townhallsavoy]

I'm really surprised. 

I figured it would go like this -

#1  Florida State - They're the returning champs and they beat the hell out of Auburn who was really lucky to get that far last year.  Plus they have Winston who's an Alabama boy from the northern part of Tuscaloosa. 

#2 Alabama - They return 66 NFL draft prospects and they have Saban.  They will most likely take over the #1 spot mid-season after dominating their opponents and making them quit. 

#3 LSU - It will all still run through November.  The Game of the Century will decide the SEC as it always has. 

#4 Oklahoma - The one team to actually beat the Tide since the dreaded Sugar Bowl of 2008.  This team is loaded with draft prospects, a respectable coaching staff, and a host of traditions anyone can respect.  Plus any team in crimson has the extra advantage as in the bible, it says crimson will always reign supreme.   

#5 Michigan State - They play tough defense and run the same iso play up the gut on offense over and over.  Their quarterback may run the play action and hit a five yard curl to give the fans a tidbit of sex but for the most part, this team plays football the way it's supposed to be played - slowly.

...

#24 Auburn - Too many losses on both sides of the ball, an unproven coach, subpar recruiting, and a tough schedule that most likely doesn't feature a luck fairy.  With LSU, Alabama, and Steve Spurrier on the schedule, it's guaranteed at least three losses.  Does Malzahn jump ship midway through the season?  His stock is rising and we all know what happens to coaches at Auburn when their stock rises.  There will most likely be a fourth and fifth loss - Ole Miss and Texas A&M probably - as Auburn is routinely out coached.  Add in a sixth loss to Georgia because Auburn has only beaten Georgia a handful of times in history.