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If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.

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Tiger Wench

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If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« on: March 04, 2014, 12:40:00 AM »
Happy early birthday to our resident Turd (who is really one of us). Given the length of the isolated incidents thread, you prolly have to dress like you do to blend in with the scofflaws so you'll have reason to beat them soundly with your big stick.

Every year on Christmas and your birthday, I think "This is it!  This year, this year will be the one where Token comes out of the closet... And crosses over to the good side."

I'll never give up on you, Token. I have felt the good in you. One day, darlin, one day.

In the meantime, happy birthday, sweetheart!!!
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Saniflush

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2014, 07:02:30 AM »
Happy birthday....Fucktard.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

CCTAU

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2014, 08:55:46 AM »
Hope you can hear me under all of that birthday wetness. Happy birthday...
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Snaggletiger

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2014, 09:24:49 AM »
Put a little brutality on someone to brighten your day.  Happy Happy
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Godfather

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2014, 09:42:23 AM »
Happy Happy Old Man!
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Gus is gone, hooray!
                       -Auburn Fans

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Buzz Killington

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2014, 10:17:31 AM »
Here's hoping you get to beat the fuck out of a paint huffer today.

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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2014, 10:20:51 AM »
Happy birfday, copper, fuzz, lice, pig or whatever the most derogatory current term for law enforcement is.
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Like my posts on www.tigersx.com

AUTiger1

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2014, 10:27:25 AM »
Happy Birthday Fucker!
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

dallaswareagle

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2014, 11:06:05 AM »
Go ahead and get funky:

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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Token

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2014, 12:14:29 PM »
Thanks a lot peeps. Now I'm going back to drinking.
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The Six

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2014, 12:24:52 PM »
Happy Slappy Birthday
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

wesfau2

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2014, 12:26:11 PM »
Fuck off, bammer.

And have a happy birthday, too, I guess.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

djsimp

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2014, 12:42:27 PM »
Happy Birthday yo.
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ssgaufan

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #13 on: March 04, 2014, 12:47:48 PM »
Happy Birthday!  Now go give somebody a mustache ride!
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Buzz Killington

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #14 on: March 04, 2014, 01:21:02 PM »
Quote from: Token on March 04, 2014, 12:14:29 PM
Thanks a lot peeps. Now I'm going back to drinking.

On the job, I hope.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

The Six

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #15 on: March 04, 2014, 01:51:12 PM »
Nick asks that you do not taser any more of his 5 stars. It's hard enough to recruit with Auburn cheating and all.
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

AWK

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #16 on: March 04, 2014, 02:48:14 PM »
Happy Day of Birth shit
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Vandy Vol

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #17 on: March 04, 2014, 05:39:47 PM »
I hope you get to use your night stick today.  Take that as you may.

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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

Pell City Tiger

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Re: If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.
« Reply #18 on: March 04, 2014, 08:33:57 PM »
Happy birthday, copper!
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."
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  4. If all the cops looked like him there'd be no crime at all.