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Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy

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Jumbo

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Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« on: February 04, 2014, 03:04:20 AM »
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AU_Tiger_2000

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2014, 09:30:14 AM »
He actually has fairly good feet per that video attached to the article.
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You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him: "That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

Saniflush

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2014, 09:46:59 AM »
Quote from: AU_Tiger_2000 on February 04, 2014, 09:30:14 AM
He actually has fairly good feet per that video attached to the article.

Yea, if he could just figure out how to see them?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

AU_Tiger_2000

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2014, 10:33:30 AM »
Quote from: Saniflush on February 04, 2014, 09:46:59 AM
Yea, if he could just figure out how to see them?

I'm just wondering how he's able to take a leak.
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You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him: "That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

CCTAU

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2014, 10:50:03 AM »
I always thought the dude was a talented QB. Unfortunately, He cold not keep his weight under control. If he had gotten to around 240 and stayed there, I think he would have lasted longer. For a big man, he moves better than some normal sized QBs.


"Look, here comes a lead blocker. Oh shit, he has the ball"!
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Godfather

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2014, 10:57:19 AM »
Quote from: Saniflush on February 04, 2014, 09:46:59 AM
Yea, if he could just figure out how to see them?

Any man can have a penis, it takes a real man to build a roof over it.

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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2014, 12:33:41 PM »
Quote from: AU_Tiger_2000 on February 04, 2014, 10:33:30 AM
I'm just wondering how he's able to take a leak.
Speaking as a fat man with a freaky long penis, this isn't as much trouble as one might think.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2014, 12:59:11 PM »
Quote from: WiregrassTiger on February 04, 2014, 12:33:41 PM
Speaking as a fat man with a freaky long penis, this isn't as much trouble as one might think.

Oh come on.  I've met you and you are certainly not fat.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AU_Tiger_2000

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2014, 03:27:58 PM »
Quote from: Snaggletiger on February 04, 2014, 12:59:11 PM
Oh come on.  I've met you and you are certainly not fat.

Wow, if he is willing to lie about that, what else would he lie about?
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You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him: "That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

Pell City Tiger

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2014, 08:25:14 PM »
Didn't he weigh 300 or so when he played at Kentucky? Damn, he was a monster.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

CCTAU

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2014, 08:39:28 PM »
Quote from: Pell City Tiger on February 04, 2014, 08:25:14 PM
Didn't he weigh 300 or so when he played at Kentucky? Damn, he was a monster.

I think the link said he was 6' 4" 260 at UK.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Pell City Tiger

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2014, 08:41:38 PM »
Quote from: CCTAU on February 04, 2014, 08:39:28 PM
I think the link said he was 6' 4" 260 at UK.
I gave up clicking links for Lent.

It was a hell of a sacrifice.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

CCTAU

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #12 on: February 04, 2014, 08:55:12 PM »
Quote from: Pell City Tiger on February 04, 2014, 08:41:38 PM
I gave up clicking links for Lent.

It was a hell of a sacrifice.

I respect that. You are welcome.
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

AUownsU

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #13 on: February 05, 2014, 02:05:18 PM »
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2014/2/3/5375884/jared-lorenzen-northern-kentucky-river-monsters

Awesome read on his timeline since he lefy Kentucky. Guy went on to win a SB as Eli's back up and from there he dominated the lower levels of Arena ball, became the team's G.M., quit so he could play, won the league MVP the next year and followed that up by becoming the league's commissioner.
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wesfau2

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Re: Jarod Lorenzen is the Pillsbury Throwboy
« Reply #14 on: February 05, 2014, 11:08:15 PM »
Quote from: AUownsU on February 05, 2014, 02:05:18 PM
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2014/2/3/5375884/jared-lorenzen-northern-kentucky-river-monsters

Awesome read on his timeline since he lefy Kentucky. Guy went on to win a SB as Eli's back up and from there he dominated the lower levels of Arena ball, became the team's G.M., quit so he could play, won the league MVP the next year and followed that up by becoming the league's commissioner.

You can't knock the hustle.
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And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
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