Kiffin new bammer oc

[dallaswareagle]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Something tells me you have been looking at the board for a while before jumping in. 

[dallaswareagle]

Per al.com

[bottomfeeder]

Kiffin is a one man wrecking crew.

[Kaos]

I mean I get it because she's really blonde and really dumb and I've hired people for worse reasons than their wife was hot, but still...  The dude is a walking amalgamation of stupid.

[Godfather]

I'm somewhat on the fence about this hire.  On one hand, Kiffin is a douchebag.  On the other hand, he's only going to talk to the media twice a year.  That's probably a good thing. 

I think that Saban has swallowed his pride somewhat and finally realized that the college football landscape is changing, and the current offense as is just may not be cutting it anymore.  I'm not saying junk the whole thing, but there are certainly areas that need to be looked at.  A tempo element being one of them.  With a new QB coming in, this may be the best time to start.  I just hope he comes to the same realization about the defense and makes the appropriate tweaks to it as well.

[Godfather]

You don't need to see his identification.  These aren't the droids you are looking for.  He can go about his business.  Move along.

What exactly do you do for the Department of Defense?  Snowden?

[AUChizad]

So much gold in these CR posts.
http://capstonereport.com/2009/01/26/oops-kiffin-already-violating-ncaa-rules/1732/

Oops! Kiffin already violating NCAA rules

Lane Kiffin has begun his career as head coach of the Tennessee Volunteers in great fashion. He’s already committed a secondary rules violation (or at least a possible rules violation.) According to Govolsxtra.com, “coaches used smoke machines as recruits entered the field from the tunnel inside Neyland Stadium when the Vols hosted prospects on official visits earlier this month.” This has been self reported by the university.

The Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron brain trust is already showing what it is worth.

http://capstonereport.com/2009/02/06/finebaum-blasts-kiffin-on-patrick-show/1793/

Finebaum blasts Kiffin on Patrick Show

Lane Kiffin will pay for his Thursday attack on Florida coach Urban Meyer and Alabama coach Nick Saban, Paul Finebaum said on the Dan Patrick Show.

"He will pay for this…He will pay dearly," Finebaum said. "When you get Nick Saban and Urban Meyer on the same side, they will get this guy.

"Here is how they will get him, everyone cheats. We know that. You can find something this guy did wrong very quickly, and what you'll have now is 8 or 9 SEC coaches turning him in every time he walks down the sidewalk on the wrong side."

Finebaum summed up Kiffin in one statement early in the conversation. "You've got someone that is clearly in over his head," he said.

Finebaum's criticism of Kiffin has generated some negative reaction by Volunteer fans.

"Tennessee fans are upset because I am telling the truth," Finebaum said. "Tennessee fans should worry more about their little out of control petulant child, Lane Kiffin, than worry about me."

http://capstonereport.com/2009/02/12/kiffin-exaggerates-boy-blunder-emasculated/1822/

Kiffin exaggerates; boy blunder emasculated

Lane Kiffin is prone to exaggeration. The Knoxville News-Sentinel exposed the latest Kiffin goof. It looks like Kiffin told Sports Illustrated one thing, and was overruled by his boss.

According to the News Sentinel, "Despite what you might read in Sports Illustrated, new Tennessee football coach Lane Kiffin hasn’t contributed to Knoxville’s unemployment rate."

Kiffin claimed he had fired one person and run off others, the report said. However, Volunteer athletic director Mike Hamilton repudiated the firing claim.

“He has not fired anybody,” Hamilton told the News Sentinel. “If he said he has fired somebody, that’s not true. I don’t know if he said it from a standpoint of making a point that ‘We’ve got to get this right.’ But he didn’t fire anybody."

UT is trying to cover for the boy wonder by suggesting Kiffin changed his mind with a lame statement that the boy wonder decided it wasn't in the best interest of Tennessee to fire the individual.

Translation: the boy blunder was told he couldn't. That is the sound of emasculation. Kiffin can't even fire people without asking permission. Does anyone think Nick Saban or Urban Meyer have to ask permission before doing something? Maybe you should win a game or two before trying to pretend you are as powerful or as good as Saban or Meyer.

More on Kiffingate
Lane Kiffin's bloopers continue to percolate around the Internet. Here are a few links covering the incompetent Tennessee Volunteer coach.

EDSBS: KIFFYKINS PEES IN THE KIDDIE POOL
Provides a look at the consequences when a youthful coach insults a Florida community. It doesn't shock us to read that coaches would be angry at the way Kiffin treated Pahokee coach Blaze Thomopson.

Chris Low: No offense, but Kiffin not treading lightly
Low provides a glimpse at Kiffin's performance at a Tennessee basketball luncheon. Low confirms that Kiffin once again took shots at the SEC and Florida, "Kiffin never mentioned Florida coach Urban Meyer by name, but Kiffin managed to get a whiny reference in that was clearly directed at Meyer. Kiffin wrongly accused Meyer of committing an NCAA violation last week, prompting Florida athletic director Jeremy Foley to demand an apology and the subsequent reprimand from the SEC."

Blutarsky: The legend of Junior
This Georgia blog provides a great analysis of how Lane Kiffin got to where he is today and deconstructs the Sports Illustrated interview that we mentioned above.

http://capstonereport.com/2009/10/26/dumbass-lane-kiffin-on-notice/3296/

Dumbass Lane Kiffin on notice

KIFFIN REPRIMANDED
BIRMINGHAM “ Southeastern Conference Commissioner Mike Slive has issued a public reprimand to University of Tennessee head football coach Lane Kiffin for his public comments concerning officiating Sunday.

“Coach Kiffin has violated the Southeastern Conference Code of Ethics,” Slive said. “SEC Bylaw 10.5.4 clearly states that coaches, players and support personnel shall refrain from all public criticism of officials."

"This is the second reprimand for Coach Kiffin in this calendar year. Coach Kiffin is on notice that for any further violations of SEC policies will subject him to additional penalties including suspension."

http://capstonereport.com/2009/10/26/coward-kiffin-wont-comment-on-latest-gaffe/3301/

COWARD: Kiffin won’t comment on latest gaffe

According to the AP story embedded here: “Tennessee spokesman Bud Ford said (Lane) Kiffin would not comment on the reprimand.”

Coward.

If you believe the SEC is cheating as your remarks clearly indicate then either defend your statement or apologize. For reference here are your remarks, “”You run another play and you throw an interception or they throw another flag on us — I wasn’t going to let the refs lose the game for us there and some magical flag appear,” Kiffin said.

You just accused a group of people of cheating. And now after being bitch slapped you won’t say anything? You sir are pathetic.

Be a man and stand by what you said, or be a man and apologize for crying.

The entire AP report on Lane Kiffin, Dan Mullen and the SEC’s officiating woes is embedded below.

According to the AP story embedded here: “Tennessee spokesman Bud Ford said Kiffin would not comment on the reprimand.”

http://capstonereport.com/2009/10/30/volunteer-admin-rebukes-lane-kiffin/3348/

Volunteer admin rebukes Lane Kiffin

The University of Tennessee administration has buyer's remorse. How do we know? Even the school's athletic director and president supported the new Kiffin rule- the conference approved the stiffer penalties unanimously, and for you Volunteer fans, unanimously includes Tennessee.

It was a strong repudiation of the Volunteer coach; it cannot be viewed any other way. When the people who hired you support a policy created by your big mouth, your days are numbered.

Unless you win.

And Kiffin hasn't shown he can win. He lost to a terrible Auburn team. He lost to divisional rival Florida and traditional rival Alabama. A quick survey of next season's rosters for the Gators, Tide and Vols indicates the Volunteers will be substantial underdogs in 2010.

No amount of trash talk, street cred or BS will save his job if the Volunteers extend the losing streaks to Alabama and Florida. And the probabilities are substantial that the Volunteers actually get worse next year instead of better.

What happens if the Vols lose to South Carolina?

It won't be only the administration with buyer's remorse.

http://capstonereport.com/2010/01/14/ut-fans-accuse-kiffin-orgeron-of-cheating/4675/

UT fans accuse Kiffin, Orgeron of cheating

Want proof that Camus was right—Life is Absurd? Tennessee Volunteer fans have accused Lane Kiffin’s recruiting staff of cheating.

Yes! While Tennessee fans once defended the idiots who were running the Volunteer football program, today these same fans accuse Kiffin’s staff and specifically Ed Orgeron of cheating. According to Rocky Top Talk, Orgeron admitted to calling prospects he had recruited for Tennessee after following Kiffin to USC. That might be scummy, but Rocky Top Talk goes further. It alleges Orgeron talked to prospects already enrolled at Tennessee.

Rocky Top Talk writes, “Oh, he hasn’t yet admitted it, saying he ‘[wasn't] going to get into it.’ Oh, yes you are, Coach, because we have evidence.

“Again, according to GVX, Jeff Bray said his son, Tyler Bray, was in a room Tuesday when Orgeron offered USC scholarships to a group of players enrolled at Tennessee via speaker phone. Apparently, a bunch of the players responded to Orgeron with anger. Good for them.

“What will happen? Who knows? There seem to be other, more pressing NCAA issues at Southern Cal, issues that have been cooking for years but for some reason refuse to come to a boil, so chances are the NCAA will do nothing about this. But it is becoming increasingly clear that Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron have done the impossible and further sullied their respective reputations.”

If the UT staff so obviously violated the rules on its way out of town, what do Volunteer fans believe Kiffin was doing while in Knoxville?

Maybe he was cheating then too?

What do you think of the NCAA probe of Tennessee recruiting practices today? Are you more worried?

You should be. HOstessgate isn’t going to simply evaporate now that Kiffin is gone. The Tennessee compliance department failed miserably in its supervision of the football program under Kiffin. It isn’t a coaching issue; it is an institutional problem. And the institution should get hammered for its loving embrace of a culture of cheating so clearly demonstrated in HOstessgate and now apparently in the conduct of the staff as it headed to California.

If Tennessee wanted to appease the NCAA, it should jettison Mike Hamilton and hire Phil Fulmer (or Johnny Majors) as athletic director. Then the school should hire a quality coach with a history of NCAA compliance. One of the best names available would be a coach like David Cutcliffe.

Cutcliffe could heal divisions in the Volunteer family, and bring class to the coaching position in Knoxville. And that would benefit the entire SEC.

http://capstonereport.com/2010/07/24/lane-kiffin-does-it-again/7421/

Lane Kiffin does it again!

From the AP: “I am very disappointed in Lane Kiffin’s approach to this,” Fisher told the newspaper. “Typically speaking when coaches are interested in hiring or discussing potential employment from coaches on respective staffs there is a courtesy call made from the head coach or athletic director indicating there is an interest in talking to the assistant.

“So I am very disappointed in the lack of professionalism on behalf of Lane, to call me and leave me a voice mail after Kennedy had informed me he had taken the job. It is just a lack of professionalism.”

Read the entire story below.

http://capstonereport.com/2010/07/26/sued-lane-kiffin-usc-hit-with-lawsuit/7461/

SUED! Lane Kiffin & USC hit with lawsuit

From the AP, “The Tennessee Titans are suing Southern California and coach Lane Kiffin for ‘maliciously’ luring away assistant running backs coach Kennedy Pola a week before training camp opens. Tennessee Football Inc., the company that owns the Titans, filed the lawsuit Monday in Davidson County Chancery Court against both the university and Kiffin.”

We all knew Lane Kiffin’s mouth and arrogance would land him in trouble. So, is this lawsuit a shock? Not really. Kiffin’s conduct over the last few years has been consistently malicious. (read the entire AP report embedded below.)

http://capstonereport.com/2010/07/07/who-knew-lane-kiffin-is-a-liar/6950/

Who knew! Lane Kiffin is a liar

Where Lane Kiffin goes, lies seem to follow.

The former Tennessee coach wrongfully accused Florida’s Urban Meyer of cheating. And not long after sanctions were announced against his new school, there came word from California that Florida and Alabama were cheating by contacting a USC underclassman.

Now USC has apologized for that false allegation.

According to the Bama Beat, Southern California’s athletic director Mike Garrett sent the Alabama Crimson Tide this apology:

“I have spoken with Mr. Baxter and he has now confirmed that he did not receive a call from your institution,” Garrett wrote to Moore. “Therefore, USC has no intention of pursuing this matter further.
“I apologize for any inconvenience or embarrassment this matter has caused to you and your institution.”

In the false allegations, the common denominator is Lane Kiffin. Kiffin was coach at Tennessee. Kiffin is now coach at USC.

While coach at Tennessee, Kiffin’s behavior made his former NFL boss Al Davis look normal.

To call Lane Kiffin a douche would be an insult to douches everywhere. He runs his mouth and acts like a jerk. While that might land the ladies (he does have a hot wife), it isn’t the best plan for running a major football program. It has consequences and increases scrutiny. And you don’t want scrutiny if you are USC. He is a walking rules violation, and USC is asking for serious NCAA problems by employing him. Southern Cal should be reminded of its status as a repeat violator. Having Kiffin as coach just asks for another round of NCAA investigation.

If USC wanted to impress the NCAA with a newfound commitment to compliance, it would fire Kiffin. Immediately.

Is Mike Garrett smart enough to do that?

[Buzz Killington]

To call Lane Kiffin a douche would be an insult to douches everywhere. He runs his mouth and acts like a jerk. While that might land the ladies (he does have a hot wife), it isn’t the best plan for running a major football program. It has consequences and increases scrutiny. And you don’t want scrutiny if you are USC. He is a walking rules violation, and USC is asking for serious NCAA problems by employing him. Southern Cal should be reminded of its status as a repeat violator. Having Kiffin as coach just asks for another round of NCAA investigation.

If USC wanted to impress the NCAA with a newfound commitment to compliance, it would fire Kiffin. Immediately.

 

[Shug Dye]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... Agreed. Except for this part....There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking-

Pictures or it didn't happen. Most of these guys on here claim to manscape...but it's a trap.

[WiregrassTiger]

Pictures or it didn't happen. Most of these guys on here claim to manscape...but it's a trap.

Not me.  I'm bushy like an old bear. When its cold out, I have to weave my big junk out to urinate.

[JR4AU]

I paid little attention to him at UT.  What were the cheating issues there?

[AU_Tiger_2000]

I paid little attention to him at UT.  What were the cheating issues there?

Simulating game environment for recruits (similar to when we had our recruits rolling Toomer's) was one of them. 

I remember the stink of him accusing Meyer of cheating by texting a recruit who was on an official visit to Tenn, turned out that's not a rules violation.

Don't know about others.

[Townhallsavoy]

I paid little attention to him at UT.  What were the cheating issues there?

Not much.  I think the NCAA came a'knocking because he pushed the limits.  I don't recall the NCAA handing out any sanctions though. 

But people - especially Alabama fans - just loved bringing up how much of a dumpster fire he was at Tennessee.

[RWS]

Not much.  I think the NCAA came a'knocking because he pushed the limits.  I don't recall the NCAA handing out any sanctions though. 

But people - especially Alabama fans - just loved bringing up how much of a dumpster fire he was at Tennessee.

He is a dumpster fire as a head coach.  So was Gene Chizik.  So was Shula.  However, Chizik was a good coordinator.  Shula has done well in his first year as an NFL OC and QB coach at Carolina.  Muschamp is another that is right at dumpster fire level as a head coach, but was a good coordinator. 

I'm at least willing to give him a chance, because the offense has to change.  The same ol' same ol' just isn't getting the job done anymore.   

[AUChizad]

He is a dumpster fire as a head coach.  So was Gene Chizik.  So was Shula.  However, Chizik was a good coordinator.  Shula has done well in his first year as an NFL OC and QB coach at Carolina.  Muschamp is another that is right at dumpster fire level as a head coach, but was a good coordinator. 

I'm at least willing to give him a chance, because the offense has to change.  The same ol' same ol' just isn't getting the job done anymore.   

You would not be saying that had any other SEC school hired Kiffin.

You can rationalize it all you want now. We are all 100% sure what you would have to say about this if it were anyone else.

[Godfather]

He is a dumpster fire as a head coach.  So was Gene Chizik.  So was Shula.  However, Chizik was a good coordinator.  Shula has done well in his first year as an NFL OC and QB coach at Carolina.  Muschamp is another that is right at dumpster fire level as a head coach, but was a good coordinator. 

I'm at least willing to give him a chance, because the offense has to change.  The same ol' same ol' just isn't getting the job done anymore.   

[Townhallsavoy]

You would not be saying that had any other SEC school hired Kiffin.

You can rationalize it all you want now. We are all 100% sure what you would have to say about this if it were anyone else.

This story is only truly funny because the inbreds were so quick to completely change their tune about Kiffin and the hire.

I mean, really, Saban could hire the coaching staff from Woodlawn High School and we'd hear about how coaches who coach in lower socioeconomic areas are primed to take on the adversity of the SEC.

[Townhallsavoy]

He is a dumpster fire as a head coach.  So was Gene Chizik.  So was Shula.  However, Chizik was a good coordinator.  Shula has done well in his first year as an NFL OC and QB coach at Carolina.  Muschamp is another that is right at dumpster fire level as a head coach, but was a good coordinator. 

I'm at least willing to give him a chance, because the offense has to change.  The same ol' same ol' just isn't getting the job done anymore.   

Years spent as a dumpster fire head coach: 2007-2013
Years spent as a co-offensive coordinator: 2005-2006

Your new coach was just turning 30 the last time he wasn't considered a complete failure. 

[Buzz Killington]

If'n he's good enuff fer coarch Sabbin, then by God, he's good enuff fer me!

[bottomfeeder]

... we'd hear about how coaches who coach in lower socioeconomic areas are primed to take on the adversity of the SEC.

99.9999% of the 85% wouldn't word it quite like that. Do you care to rephrase that to match the medium?