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You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up

You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« on: December 29, 2013, 06:53:56 AM »
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

bottomfeeder

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2013, 09:13:54 AM »
Illusion/delusion meets reality.
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chinook

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2013, 05:54:16 PM »
Damn.  When I first saw this in another thread... I thought Chizad crafted it up...guess not.
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Lurking Tiger

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2013, 06:03:01 PM »
At first I just saw the helmets and thought it was no big deal. I have an Auburn decoration on my tree. Then I saw the saban thing. Wow.


He is much lower on my tree.
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The Prowler

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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

Buzz Killington

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2013, 10:58:29 PM »
It's classy 'cause it's spelled with a "K"
She will be the toast of the main stage one day...
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Tiger Wench

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2013, 11:57:25 PM »
As one article I read said - once she hits puberty, one week a month is going to be absolute social hell. 

"Damn, bitch! Yu so gawdamwhore-monal!  Yu livin up to yor name!!"
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Saniflush

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2013, 02:58:40 AM »
She will be the toast of the main stage one day...

I suspect she will be more so satellite stage material.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

DnATL

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2013, 07:13:44 AM »
As one article I read said - once she hits puberty, one week a month is going to be absolute social hell. 

"Damn, bitch! Yu so gawdamwhore-monal!  Yu livin up to yor name!!"
Your crassly graphic humour offends the gentlemen of the X


Also, it was actually a boy
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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2013, 09:10:57 AM »
It's classy'cause it's spelled with a "K"
She will be the toast of the main stage one day...

Which will make it even weirder since little Krimson is currently a boy.  The early reports got the name right but the gender wrong.   Probably doesn't matter because anything with a pulse and that name will require most bammers to need immediate medical attention after four hours even without the use of little blue or yellow pills.
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dallaswareagle

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2013, 03:37:16 PM »

She will be the toast of the main stage one day...

I suspect she will be more so satellite stage material.

I suspect she will be cleaning both of them.
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Saniflush

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2013, 03:39:11 PM »
I suspect she will be cleaning both of them.

Running the jizz mop?  That's setting the bar pretty high.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Buzz Killington

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2013, 06:49:23 PM »
Running the jizz mop?  That's setting the bar pretty high.
Pixie dust spreader?
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Tiger Wench

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2013, 07:45:10 PM »
Pixie dust spreader?

Beats barking for the yak woman. Ugly as sin but a damn fine cook 
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The Prowler

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #14 on: December 30, 2013, 08:06:42 PM »
"Though Broadhurst never attended the school and hasn't stepped foot in Bryant-Denny Stadium, he insists that the university makes him stronger as a person and he dreams about college careers there for both his Bama-named children."

http://blog.al.com/live/2013/12/phenix_city_man_father_to_crim.html

                                                 :haha: Stupid inbred bammers
« Last Edit: December 30, 2013, 08:09:13 PM by The Prowler »
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

Pell City Tiger

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #15 on: December 30, 2013, 09:11:44 PM »
Quote
"You should be able to name your young'un what you want."
Sweet 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus! These morons just can't grasp the concept of "cause and effect". I sincerely hope they have a moment of clarity in 20 years or so and realize their idiotic decision was directly responsible for their children's poor prospects for a successful life.

I'm in no way besmirching the fine pulpwooders or meter readers in this fucked up state, but one must realize that painting their kids into a very tight corner right out of the gate will have nothing but a negative consequence - and all this for a bullshit allegiance to something that is nothing more than a source of entertainment.

The real gem in this article is the part where it is revealed that he met his now 24 year old wife 9 years ago (when he was 22 years old). Appalachia ain't got shit on some parts of this state.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2013, 09:17:19 PM by Pell City Tiger »
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

WiregrassTiger

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #16 on: December 30, 2013, 09:57:10 PM »
"Though Broadhurst never attended the school and hasn't stepped foot in Bryant-Denny Stadium, he insists that the university makes him stronger as a person and he dreams about college careers there for both his Bama-named children."

http://blog.al.com/live/2013/12/phenix_city_man_father_to_crim.html

                                                 :haha: Stupid inbred bammers
The Onion didn't even need to pay their creative staff for this one. They should run it. This is fantastic.
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dallaswareagle

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #17 on: December 30, 2013, 10:23:32 PM »

The real gem in this article is the part where it is revealed that he met his now 24 year old wife 9 years ago (when he was 22 years old). Appalachia ain't got shit on some parts of this state.


In turd terminology is that a CILF? 


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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #18 on: December 30, 2013, 10:29:50 PM »

The real gem in this article is the part where it is revealed that he met his now 24 year old wife 9 years ago (when he was 22 years old). Appalachia ain't got shit on some parts of this state.


Cut them some slack.  They have hard enough time correctly counting national championships.  No harm in making a math error on something much less important like age appropriate dating.
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RWS

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Re: You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up
« Reply #19 on: December 30, 2013, 10:50:12 PM »
I really really really really can't stand it when people don't name their children normal names. 
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