Pree-Dick-Shuns & Anal-Assist

Snaggletiger · « **on:** November 07, 2013, 02:17:17 PM »

Hate, hate, hate an 11:00 start for a lot of reasons. Most notably, a lack of sufficient time for pre-game lubrication and grilling. But, both teams and both teams' fans are in the same boat. The article I read had Malzahn quoted as saying this team has been "Locked-in on Tennessee this week". Great week of preparation. Auburn leads the league in rushing and UT is teh suxxors at stopping the run. I say barring a rash of turnovers and/or penalties, the good guys cruise. The biggest bowl of Cheetoes empties early.

AU: 43
UT: 17

In the latest GREATEST GAME EVER PLAYED, The Hat & Company visit Brian Dennehy Stadium Saturday. Offensively, these two teams are very close statistically. LSU averages 40 ppg and 480 ypg while Bama is at 41 ppg and 462 ypg. On defense, LSU is pretty good given today's high powered offenses. They give up 22 ppg and 351 total yards. However, Bama only allows 9.8 and 280 respectively. And that factors in giving up 42 points and 8,000 yards to JFF.

A couple of things about Bama. You have to give credick where credick is due. They've taken care of business and I don't care who you're playing, under 10 points a game is stout. But...I still reserve judgment because their schedule to date has turned out to be as cupcake as you can get in this league.....so far. One really good offense in Texas A&M. They got torched. One really good defense in VT. They got stuffed. LSU has far more balance than anyone they've played to date. And better overall athletes. And LSU has the best WR tandem in the country IMO. Jarvis Landry: 59 catches for 882 yards. Odell Beckham: 48 catches for 1,009 yards. But, because they're at home.....

Knuckledraggers: 20
Drunken Nutria Lovers: 18

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #1 on:** November 07, 2013, 02:28:18 PM »

Blue man group 35
oompa loompas 21 ( We give up late touchdown)

Monthly visitor 24
Drunks 28 (Calling for the upset)

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #2 on:** November 07, 2013, 02:59:50 PM »

I'm feeling frisky today...

AuWarPlainsEagleMen - 38
TenLittleSeamen - 21

Auburn jumps up quick in the 1st half by dominating the running game. Score is 21-7 at halftime. Auburn scores a few more times in the third and then gets lazy and let's Tennessee start to climb back before nailing a late fourth quarter touchdown and a last few minutes field goal.

OrI'mGone - 42
Stand Firm - 21

This game is close in the third quarter. We SEC folk will be laughing at Oregon saying that they have no chance against a Stanford-like team in the SEC with better players. But the thing is about Oregon this year is that they just keep hitting you and hitting you and then suddenly they've scored two touchdowns in two minutes, and the game's out of reach.

ChokesNotTonight - 31
Bay Lore - 21

Baylor scores. They have athletes. They're just so fast! Who the fuck have they played? Too much hype gets in their heads and when Stoops brings his machine into this game, Baylor doesn't get off to a quick start. They're forced to play real football and not just sprint downfield all evening. This is the big upset of the week until...

ELLA's SHOES - 21
Get the Hammer - 14

LSU shocks Alabama in T-Town. Alabama's schedule really is fucking pathetic. Seriously, outside of the Ole Miss game, which wasn't that big of a game anyway, they've played some of the worst teams the SEC has seen in a while. Arkansas is putrid. Tennessee is god-awful, and their coach can't figure out visiting locker rooms. Kentucky? I mean, fucking Kentucky? These are the schools that Alabama gets to brag about destroying? The Ole Miss win was a big one though, so that makes me think LSU really could be in for a beat down, but...

Alabama hasn't faced a balanced team yet. Texas A&M, if they had a defense, could have beaten Alabama by thirty points. They were unstoppable on offense, but good God their defense was awful. Ole Miss's offense lacked the experience and the athletes and the big men to compete against Alabama's monstrous defensive linemen. Considering Ole Miss's offense wasn't going to score against The Citadel that night, it's almost impressive that Ole Miss was able to hold Alabama to only 25 points...

And that's the kicker. Alabama's offense is very overrated. They are not great. They're good. Not great.

Against Ole Miss, they could only muster three field goals in the first half. Then they got 2 points from a safety and hit a long touchdown run towards the very end of the game when the game was all but over anyway. LSU's defense will pose just as much of a threat to Alabama's offense as Ole Miss's did. The question becomes can LSU exploit Alabama's defense with a balanced attack, or will they be shut down like the previous opponents?

I think LSU gets it done in another classic.

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #3 on:** November 07, 2013, 03:18:39 PM »

Quote from: Townhallsavoy on November 07, 2013, 02:59:50 PM

Baylor scores. They have athletes. They're just so fast! Who the fuck have they played? Too much hype gets in their heads and when Stoops brings his machine into this game, Baylor doesn't get off to a quick start. They're forced to play real football and not just sprint downfield all evening. This is the big upset of the week until...

ELLA's SHOES - 21
Get the Hammer - 14

Big 12 11 whatever they are this year. Me thinks the bunch north of my keenness puts its on Baylor and makes it hurts, they may be fast but I saw them a couple of weekends ago and they small, the okies bring the pain and makes a statement game (even though its against Baylor)

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #4 on:** November 07, 2013, 03:36:05 PM »

But we had RGIII 34
But we have a schooner 31

Tree of death 24
What about the cheerleaders? 21

Acting school 41
Band camp 17

Agents in training 28
Eat it or smoke it 24

Kaos · « **Reply #5 on:** November 07, 2013, 05:07:38 PM »

Quote from: Townhallsavoy on November 07, 2013, 02:59:50 PM

OrI'mGone - 42
Stand Firm - 21

This game is close in the third quarter. We SEC folk will be laughing at Oregon saying that they have no chance against a Stanford-like team in the SEC with better players. But the thing is about Oregon this year is that they just keep hitting you and hitting you and then suddenly they've scored two touchdowns in two minutes, and the game's out of reach.

Welcome to John Canzano and the year 2010:

http://www.oregonlive.com/sports/oregonian/john_canzano/index.ssf/2011/01/canzano_its_time_for_the_ducks.html

Quote

I suspect Auburn's faithful fans won't fully understand until they turn to their spouse during the third quarter, say, "I'll be right back," and run to the restroom only to discover that the Ducks posted 17 points in the three minutes they were gone. Oregon fans know what I'm talking about. So do a line of sportswriters who risk bladder infections every Saturday.

Heard it all before.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #6 on:** November 07, 2013, 05:22:19 PM »

But damn it, they're just so fast.

GH2001 · « **Reply #7 on:** November 07, 2013, 07:07:53 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on November 07, 2013, 05:07:38 PM

Welcome to John Canzano and the year 2010:

http://www.oregonlive.com/sports/oregonian/john_canzano/index.ssf/2011/01/canzano_its_time_for_the_ducks.html

Heard it all before.

Was just about to say the same. All decent teams they've played the last 4 years has shut that shit down including Stanford last year. If they were all that, they'd have a NC by now. They aren't.

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #8 on:** November 07, 2013, 08:38:57 PM »

Quote from: dallaswareagle on November 07, 2013, 03:18:39 PM

Big 12 11 whatever they are this year. Me thinks the bunch north of my keenness puts its on Baylor and makes it hurts, they may be fast but I saw them a couple of weekends ago and they small, the okies bring the pain and makes a statement game (even though its against Baylor)

5-3 top of the second ~~inning.~~ Quarter.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #9 on:** November 07, 2013, 09:54:41 PM »

How can Oregon be losing??? They are just so FAST!! (h/t Snaggie)

AUChizad · « **Reply #10 on:** November 07, 2013, 09:57:47 PM »

Bout to be some shakeup in the BFTCâ€¦

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #11 on:** November 07, 2013, 10:20:28 PM »

Quote from: dallaswareagle on November 07, 2013, 03:18:39 PM

Big 12 11 whatever they are this year. Me thinks the bunch south of my keenness puts its on okie and makes it hurts, they may be fast but I saw them a couple of weekends ago and they slow, the bears bring the pain and makes a statement game (even though its against okie)

Fixed it myself.