Let's Choose the Championship Board

Kaos · « **on:** October 08, 2013, 03:12:01 PM »

Since the selection of Condomleezus Rice has set the tone for the inaugural championship selection panel, let's take the criteria that seems to matter and choose the remaining members.

Criteria
1) Have some people think you are smart
2) Have allegedly heard of a football
3) Be able to speak
4) Be currently breathing

The Committee:

1) Condomleapus Rice (not my choice, but already there)

2) Stephen Hawking, although getting him out for the coin toss might prove a problem.

3) Peter Billingsley. He may have momentarily forgotten what a football was, but he knows. He always knows.

4) Jon Gries. In 1982 he could throw a pigskin a quarter mile

5) Drew Lachey. Had and discarded Jessica Simpson. Smart. Saw a football one time. Qualified. Can speak and breathes.

6) Stevie Wonder. Genius. Can't see, but that's not a criteria.

7) Oprah. Just because.

9) Denzel Washington. Played a football coach in a movie. Good enough.

10) Dolly Parton. Double smart and from the south. Sees two footballs daily.

11) Gene Simmons. Smart. Owns a football team.

12) Papa John. Threw a football in a commercial with Peyton Manning. Could start for 58 colleges at QB on that basis alone.

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #1 on:** October 08, 2013, 03:22:36 PM »

13: Gene Chizik- Can stay out of the way of good football players, can't coach football players to be good.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #2 on:** October 08, 2013, 03:32:03 PM »

14. Chopper. He knows the format.

WiregrassTiger · « **Reply #3 on:** October 08, 2013, 03:41:44 PM »

I would like to nominate OJ Simpson.

CCTAU · « **Reply #4 on:** October 08, 2013, 03:45:59 PM »

Tim Jackson?

AU_Tiger_2000 · « **Reply #5 on:** October 08, 2013, 03:56:23 PM »

Miss Piggy. Not only has she seen a football but in an emergency she could be made into one.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #6 on:** October 08, 2013, 03:56:29 PM »

Nick Saban

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #7 on:** October 08, 2013, 04:01:23 PM »

Danny Sheridan. Can pinpoint the odds.

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #8 on:** October 08, 2013, 04:42:34 PM »

Quote from: Townhallsavoy on October 08, 2013, 04:01:23 PM

Danny Sheridan. Can pinpoint the odds.

And knows all the bagmen.

WiregrassTiger · « **Reply #9 on:** October 08, 2013, 04:55:11 PM »

Quote from: dallaswareagle on October 08, 2013, 04:42:34 PM

And knows all the bagmen.

There is only one real bagman and he is THE BAG MAN.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #10 on:** October 08, 2013, 04:57:23 PM »

Captain Kangaroo, because he seems fair and mild mannered. I believe he knows his way around a pig skin.
What? He's been dead for years? Well, cross him off then.

WiregrassTiger · « **Reply #11 on:** October 08, 2013, 04:58:11 PM »

Quote from: Buzz Killington on October 08, 2013, 04:57:23 PM

Captain Kangaroo, because he seems fair and mild mannered. I believe he knows his way around a pig skin.
What? He's been dead for years? Well, cross him off then.

Well, what about Mr. Green Jeans then.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #12 on:** October 08, 2013, 04:58:56 PM »

Quote from: WiregrassTiger on October 08, 2013, 04:58:11 PM

Well, what about Mr. Green Jeans then.

If his name was Red Jeans, maybe. Otherwise...no.

ssgaufan · « **Reply #13 on:** October 08, 2013, 05:04:14 PM »

John Gruden. Might as well seeing as how his name gets brought up with every other job opening in football.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #14 on:** October 08, 2013, 05:13:07 PM »

I don't get the uproar. The polls will still exist and will, likely, be the basis for the playoff discussion. Nothing changes except now numbers 5-infinity will bitch (until the inevitable expansion of the field) rather than numbers 3-infinity.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #15 on:** October 08, 2013, 05:22:06 PM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on October 08, 2013, 05:13:07 PM

I don't get the uproar. The polls will still exist and will, likely, be the basis for the playoff discussion. Nothing changes except now numbers 5-infinity will bitch (until the inevitable expansion of the field) rather than numbers 3-infinity.

Egg-Chachere. ESPN will tell us all who clearly stands at 1-4 and the polls will reflect this and committee will place them accordingly.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #16 on:** October 08, 2013, 05:27:19 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on October 08, 2013, 05:22:06 PM

Egg-Chachere.

Tony's on a deviled egg? I approve.

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #17 on:** October 08, 2013, 05:31:41 PM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on October 08, 2013, 05:13:07 PM

I don't get the uproar. The polls will still exist and will, likely, be the basis for the playoff discussion. Nothing changes except now numbers 5-infinity will bitch (until the inevitable expansion of the field) rather than numbers 3-infinity.

It's because the playoff was introduced as a means to fix a broken system. Just like the BCS was introduced as a means to fix a broken system.

It would never have been perfect; however, choosing people on the committee that fail to gain the trust of the fans seems a real bad way to kick off the new "improved" system.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #18 on:** October 08, 2013, 05:37:09 PM »

Quote from: Townhallsavoy on October 08, 2013, 05:31:41 PM

It's because the playoff was introduced as a means to fix a broken system. Just like the BCS was introduced as a means to fix a broken system.

It would never have been perfect; however, choosing people on the committee that fail to gain the trust of the fans seems a real bad way to kick off the new "improved" system.

I get the pie-in-the-sky intent, but the reality is that the polls will still be the baseline...only now we don't have the mitigating rationality of the computer polls.

WiregrassTiger · « **Reply #19 on:** October 08, 2013, 07:31:56 PM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on October 08, 2013, 05:37:09 PM

I get the pie-in-the-sky intent, but the reality is that the polls will still be the baseline...only now we don't have the mitigating rationality of the computer polls.

^^^This, about the mitigating rationality computer. And stuff.