Happy Birfday. May your day be filled with 12 year old scotch and 18 year old whures. Or is it the other way around? Well, either way.
It was a Russian ship. They taught me all about you imperialist swine. I was exposed to the works of great thinkers - Karl Marx, Lenin, L. Ron Hubbard, Freddie Laker.
Why do they call you a salty dog? Is it because of the taste of your semen?For your birthday, I'll be the judge of that.Happy day of vaginal evacuation!
Happy Birthday yo
Lay off the breaking bad.....bitch.
An Army general, a Marine general and a Navy admiral are all sitting around discussing whose service is better and whose troops are the bravest. The Army general announces to the group, "My soldiers are the BEST in the world and to prove it I'll have one do the impossible!" as he reaches for the phone. Well the other two commanders each one promptly calls for his best soldier. When all three representatives have arrived, the general states, "Since it was my idea, I'm first." Turning to the soldier, he says, "Private, I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those 10 miles of shark-infested waters, climb up that sheer cliff and return with two bird eggs... unbroken of course." The PFC took off running towards the cliff. After performing a triple-lindy into the water, the Ranger swam across the ten miles of ocean (all the while beating off sharks with his bare hands) and reaching the far cliff, he began climbing. Near the top of the cliff, he grabs the two eggs and starts back down (all the time, fighting off mean birds). Upon reaching the sea he swims back across (once again fighting off sharks) and climbs back up the first cliff. He then runs over to the admiral and hands him the two unbroken eggs. The Marine general says, "That wasn't anything," and turning to his Marine he says, "Corporal, I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those waters, climb that other cliff, then move across the four miles of unmapped jungle and bring me back two eggs from the mountain on the other side of the jungle." And with that the corporal moved out. Traveling down the cliff, swimming across the sea, climbing the far cliff, moving through the jungle and upon reaching the two eggs, he heads back (all the while fighting off lions, tigers, bears, sharks, and mean birds). Finally reaching the general, the Marine hands him the eggs. The admiral smiles then says, "Very nice gentlemen," and turning towards his sailor he says, "Chief, I want you to go down that cliff, across that sea, up the far cliff, through the four miles of unmapped jungle, over the mountain and bring me back two eggs from the forest on the other side." The Chief looks at the admiral, then the cliff, and again back to the admiral, where he says "SCREW YOU SIR, GO GET YOUR OWN EGGS!" renders a proper hand salute and walks away. The admiral turns towards the other two (both with their jaws on the table) and says "Now gentlemen, THAT'S bravery."
26 Replies
4102 Views