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Deadspin Ranks & Explains All 125 FBS Teams

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Deadspin Ranks & Explains All 125 FBS Teams
« on: August 29, 2013, 05:19:13 PM »
http://deadspin.com/125-college-football-teams-ranked-and-explained-1222105193?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

I'll paste the SEC ones...

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1. ALABAMA. Yeah, sorry. I know. There's nothing I would love more than to play the visionary iconoclast amid the rabble who spotted the first signs of rust in the Crimson machine. But is it really necessary to elaborate on this point? Alabama is so good right now, it's redundant. After three BCS titles in four years, describing Alabama's dominance is like describing the wallpaper. It's always there, and it's always the same. Nick Saban has been compared to Darth Vader, Stalin and "the devil himself." But all along he's been Henry Ford, gradually turning over the business of winning to the assembly line.
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10. GEORGIA. UGA doesn't move at a breakneck pace, but play for play, the offense can hang with anyone. The issue here is replacing seven draft picks on defense, made all the more difficult by the fact that one starting safety is suspended for Saturday's crucial opener at Clemson and the other is questionable. "Death Valley" is not the ideal venue for breaking in eight true freshmen on the two-deep.
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11. FLORIDA. The lack of offensive firepower in 2012 was so glaring that the Gators are seriously considering two-way duty for starting cornerback Loucheiz Purifoy, just to get the ball into the hands of an explosive athlete for a change. If that doesn't work, the list of names behind him is short and not very inspiring.
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15. TEXAS A&M. As of this writing, there is still every indication that Jonathan Football Manziel is going to play in every game this season after sitting out the first half Saturday against Rice, in mock contrition for NCAA rules violations that the NCAA agrees there is no evidence to support. So we'll proceed from there. And let's face it: Even if Manziel remains healthy and eligible, the numbers the guy put up in 2012 are fantasy stats no one can be expected to duplicate; eventually, they'll be used against him when he fails to shatter his own records on a weekly basis. Regardless of JFM's fate, the Aggies have more pressing issues defensively, where they're not yet in the same class talent-wise as the other upper-echelon SEC contenders. After Alabama squeezes most of the air out of their national ambitions in September, a midseason lapse at improving—and equally talented—Arkansas or Ole Miss could take out the rest.
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17. LSU. Les Miles said earlier this week he "wouldn't be surprised" if last year's leading rusher, Jeremy Hill, made the trip for Saturday's opener against TCU after being charged with simple battery in a bar fight, thereby confirming that even Les Miles has no goddamn clue what Les Miles is thinking at any given moment.
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22. SOUTH CAROLINA. Jadeveon Clowney is already the gridiron equivalent of Paul Bunyan, a giant of such hyperbolic, mythical stature that some tragic opposing quarterback may have to be turned into a pillar of salt during a sack to fulfill the prophecies. But nothing written about Clowney this offseason is quite as farfetched as the New York Times' claim that he was recruited by Harvard.
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29. OLE MISS. Let's refrain from speculating about the origins of Ole Miss' ridiculous recruiting class, since presumably we'll have plenty of time for that in the near future. For now, the incoming crop is probably more symbolic of the Rebels' general upward trajectory than it is likely to make waves in 2013: yop to bottom, the returning roster already has more career starts to its credit (336) than any other team in the SEC.
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42. TENNESSEE. All powerhouse programs go through lean times, but rarely do they fall as far, as fast, as the Vols, now 15 years removed from its last SEC title and desperately clinging to middle-class status with just two conference wins in the last two years. (It is still possible to blame Lane Kiffin, if you're so inclined.) Unlike its neighbors, Tennessee has no natural in-state recruiting base—Tennessee produces very little Division I talent relative to Florida, Alabama, Georgia, and Louisiana—and new coach Butch Jones has a long way to go to convince teenagers Tennessee was ever relevant without sounding like their history teacher.
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50. VANDERBILT. By any relevant standard, yes, Vanderbilt's 9–4 record in 2012 marked its best season in like 100 years. (Literally, the last time Vandy won nine games in one year was in 1915, if you even consider football in 1915 the same sport.) But such a rapid ascent from irrelevance comes with its limits: the Commodores were 0-4 against teams that finished in the top 25, and otherwise did not face another winning opponent in the regular season; three of their five conference wins came by a combined nine points. A new quarterback plus a tougher schedule is a recipe for regression.
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54. AUBURN. Two years removed from the BCS championship, the 2012 Tigers made a compelling bid for the most inept Auburn outfit of the modern era, dropping every conference game by an average of 24 points; by the end, rivals Georgia and Alabama were forced to show considerable mercy to limit the final scores to 38-0 and 49-0, respectively, after leaving the Tigers for dead by halftime. For the resurrection, Auburn called on its old offensive coordinator, Gus Malzahn, who had the unconventionally good sense to abandon ship after the 2011 season by accepting the top job at Arkansas State. (While his old team crashed and burned, Malzahn's Red Wolves rolled to the Sun Belt Conference title.) In retrospect, hiring Malzahn in 2009 may go down as Gene Chizik's most inspired decision—short of successfully "recruiting" Cam Newton—and the roster he inherits from his old boss is both familiar and far more talented than its suddenly pathetic record suggests. But it's not talented enough to make much of a dent in the SEC West standings.
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59. MISSOURI. In 2011, James Franklin accounted for 2,872 yards passing, 981 yards rushing and 36 touchdowns as one of the most promising young quarterbacks in the Big 12. In 2012, Missouri's first year in the SEC, he missed all of four games and parts of several others with a multitude of injuries, including a concussion, a cracked rib, broken fingers, a wonky knee and a bad shoulder that required offseason surgery. That's probably just a coincidence, but it sounds about right, doesn't it?
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67. MISSISSIPPI STATE. Mississippi State won eight games in 2012, which qualifies as a pretty good year for Mississippi State, even if things didn't go so well after a 7–0 start. But seven of those eight victims (excluding Jackson State, an FCS team) combined to lose almost twice as many games (57) as they won (29). Add Oklahoma State to the non-conference slate, trade Tennessee for South Carolina on the SEC schedule, and factor in improvement under new coaches at Arkansas and Auburn—both road trips for MSU this time around—and just picking up where they left off probably leaves the Bulldogs with a losing record.
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76. ARKANSAS. Between Bobby Petrino's neck brace and John L. Smith's insane press conferences, Arkansas had more interesting visuals in 2012 than interesting games. If the latter half of that equation doesn't change under Bret Bielema, at least his wife is more than willing to pick up the slack on the former.
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99. KENTUCKY. First-year coach Mark Stoops was welcomed by an unusually enthusiastic crowd at the spring game, a marked contrast from the apathy that contributed to his predecessor's demise. Good luck keeping that up: Joker Phillips was the ninth consecutive head coach to leave Kentucky with a losing record over the course of his tenure.

I like that "recruiting" gets put in quotes.  :taunt:
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