I am an awesome wife...

[Tiger Wench]

Corndog just called all excited - our richie rich friends have two extra tickets in teh awesomz seats for the Corndog - Holy Roller game in Dallas this weekend.  Did I want to go?

No, no, darling hubby.  You go and take one of our other corndog friends with you.  Be with the brethren.  Party in purple.  Do ya thang.

Why did I give up a ticket like that?

(1)  No sharing the TV this weekend.

and

(2) Not having to smell concentrated corndog all weekend.

and

(3) 100% free and clear hall pass to the Loveliest Village in November for UGAly.  Not that I was never "not" coming, but now there can be no discussion.

 

[WiregrassTiger]

Please don't throw me in dat briar patch!

[Tiger Wench]

Please don't throw me in dat briar patch!

 

[AWK]

The best part is #3, IMO.

[Tiger Wench]

The best part is #3, IMO.

Got the curves, but work the angles.

[Tiger Wench]

Gorrammit sunofabitch fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Corndog could not find anyone to go with him - people we know either already had tickets or other plans. He had to take both tickets or none at all. 

Guess what I'm doing Saturday night? 

Yeah, I am still an awesome wife, but FUCK!!! I am going to find a bar in Jerryworld and watch MY game. Headphones and ESPN app as a backup plan.

What really chaps my ass is that he would not go to an Auburn game with me if I had tickets if it meant missing his game.

So yeah, bitches, I am SO getting my GOTDAMN hall pass for UGAly.

Fuck.

[dallaswareagle]

Gorrammit sunofabitch fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Corndog could not find anyone to go with him - people we know either already had tickets or other plans. He had to take both tickets or none at all. 

Guess what I'm doing Saturday night? 

Yeah, I am still an awesome wife, but FUCK!!! I am going to find a bar in Jerryworld and watch MY game. Headphones and ESPN app as a backup plan.

What really chaps my ass is that he would not go to an Auburn game with me if I had tickets if it meant missing his game.

So yeah, bitches, I am SO getting my GOTDAMN hall pass for UGAly.

Fuck.

Bring plenty of cash, Jerry is proud of his place.

[bottomfeeder]

An awesome wife always swallows and doesn't lose a single drop of man juice goodness. An awesome husband always stays down there until the better half passes out from exhaustion and swallows all of her goodness.

[Snaggletiger]

An awesome wife always swallows and doesn't lose a single drop of man juice goodness. An awesome husband always stays down there until the better half passes out from exhaustion and swallows all of her goodness.

I just threw up in my mouth a little

[Ogre]

An awesome wife always swallows and doesn't lose a single drop of man juice goodness. An awesome husband always stays down there until the better half passes out from exhaustion and swallows all of her goodness.

He's a giver.

[CCTAU]

An awesome wife always swallows and doesn't lose a single drop of man juice goodness. An awesome husband always stays down there until the better half passes out from exhaustion and swallows all of her goodness.

Your should write for....well never mind...

[AUChizad]

Your should write for....well never mind...

I LOL'ed.

[Buzz Killington]

He's a giver.

And undoubtedly she's a squirter

[Tiger Wench]

I just threw up in my mouth a little

I have his nasty shit blocked for a reason.  Thanks to three other assholes, I got to read his crap anyway.  What cracks me up is that the odds of him actually knowing dick about being married (to a woman), about what it means to have a wife (a real one, not the one tied up in his basement) or even possessing actual carnal knowledge of a live woman (again, corpse in basement does not count)?  Those odd are so absolutely infinitely small as to be as close to non-existant as possible.

Yet he posts anyway.

[CCTAU]

I have his nasty shit blocked for a reason.  Thanks to three other assholes, I got to read his crap anyway.  What cracks me up is that the odds of him actually knowing dick about being married (to a woman), about what it means to have a wife (a real one, not the one tied up in his basement) or even possessing actual carnal knowledge of a live woman (again, corpse in basement does not count)?  Those odd are so absolutely infinitely small as to be as close to non-existant as possible.

Yet he posts anyway.

HEY! HEY! I resemble that remark!

[Godfather]

That fact that you titled this thread I am an awesome wife, led to your demise.  I am sorry.

Karma she is a bitch.


Still looking forward to seeing the snookems that never talks to me anymore come November.

[Tiger Wench]

That fact that you titled this thread I am an awesome wife, led to your demise.  I am sorry.

Karma she is a bitch.


Still looking forward to seeing the snookems that never talks to me anymore come November.

Show me one move I made that indicates I am nothing but an awesome wife.

First I was going to stay home with our spawn while he goes to Dallas with a hall pass and a cooler of beer and yucks it up with his fellow corndogs.  No complaining, no repercussions, nothing my total support and understanding.

Then when it was either me go or he doesn't get to go, I make a full blown sacrifice for darling Corndog's happiness. 

No, I ain't happy about having to watch the AU game on my fucking iPhone.  But when November rolls around, i'll be in the Promised Land and you'll be plenty happy to see your snookums. 

And the phone lines and texts and FB posts run both directions, dude. 

[CCTAU]

Show me one move I made that indicates I am nothing but an awesome wife.

Well. For me at was at the "Thanks to three other assholes" point of the conversation.

No good wife would refer to their wonderful husband's gender mates in such a manner for absolutely no reason at all. Just saying!

[Godfather]

Show me one move I made that indicates I am nothing but an awesome wife.

First I was going to stay home with our spawn while he goes to Dallas with a hall pass and a cooler of beer and yucks it up with his fellow corndogs.  No complaining, no repercussions, nothing my total support and understanding.

Then when it was either me go or he doesn't get to go, I make a full blown sacrifice for darling Corndog's happiness. 

No, I ain't happy about having to watch the AU game on my fucking iPhone.  But when November rolls around, i'll be in the Promised Land and you'll be plenty happy to see your snookums. 

And the phone lines and texts and FB posts run both directions, dude.

I'm not saying you weren't. I was saying the fact that you called it out, Karma bit you.

Why do you have to go?  Why doesn't he just take the other seat and try to sell it or not.  It's not like he is going to talk to you during the game anyways.

[Godfather]

Oh and I have texterbaited the last 4 text conversations with you, would it hurt you to initiate some love yourself.