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"Clean up on Isle 3!"

Pell City Tiger

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"Clean up on Isle 3!"
« on: July 11, 2013, 07:44:32 PM »
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Cops: Man, 22, Threw Semen On Walmart Shopper

JULY 11--A Delaware man threw semen on a female customer shopping at Walmart Tuesday afternoon, police allege.

Cops arrested Frank J. Short Jr., 22, on an assortment of charges in connection with the repulsive incident at the store in New Castle. Short, seen in the below mug shot, was booked into a Wilmington jail, from which he was later released on bail.

According to a Delaware State Police report, the 20-year-old victim was standing in a Walmart aisle texting on her phone when Short walked past her, saying “Excuse me.” At that point, police noted, she “suddenly felt something wet on her buttocks, thigh and leg.”

Upon examination, the woman--who thought she may have been spat upon--realized there was a “a ‘glob’ of semen on her leg, just below her knee,” reported police. Preliminary testing of the substance was “indicative of semen,” investigators added.

The woman, who said she was initially “in shock at what had happened,” told cops that as she walked through Walmart looking for help, Short followed her. She subsequently was escorted by workers to a security office, where a store manager called police (who, upon arrival, arrested Short).

When confronted by troopers, Short initially claimed to have “sneezed into his hands, then shook his hands off,” adding that some of his mucus may have “flung on to her.” However, Short’s story fluctuated to include the claim that he actually spit in his hand and threw it at the woman. Short also admitted that he thought the woman was “hot” and had “pretended to ‘slap her ass.’”

In response to further questioning, Short--who was hyperventilating--reportedly copped to some severe creepiness, saying that he was a “loner” who “basically gets a thrill out of such an act.”

Short is facing offensive touching with bodily fluid; harassment; disorderly conduct; and lewdness counts. The lewdness charge alleges that Short “did take a substance into his hand, believed to be his own semen, and did place this substance upon the body of [the victim] because he was sexually attracted to her.”

 http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/walmart-semen-attack-678954
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

WiregrassTiger

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2013, 08:00:30 PM »
What's the world coming to.
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bottomfeeder

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2013, 08:07:50 PM »
What's the world coming cumming to.
FIFY
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Token

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2013, 08:20:33 PM »
FIFY

It didn't need it be fixed, dumbass.  It's called a play on words. 
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Vandy Vol

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2013, 08:38:58 PM »
Delaware is a peninsula, so I guess the thread title is still accurate.
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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

Pell City Tiger

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2013, 09:14:43 PM »
Delaware is a peninsula, so I guess the thread title is still accurate.
My keyboard lives in its own little world. It's a world where "A's" are unnecessary.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Buzz Killington

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2013, 11:22:14 PM »
I'll bet that wasn't the first time she had semen on the back of her leg.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Kaos

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2013, 11:28:05 PM »
Best comment on story? 

Chick says this practice is known as "seagulling." 

What's worse is that she's apparently correct. 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=seagulling
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Buzz Killington

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2013, 11:32:36 PM »
Best comment on story? 

Chick says this practice is known as "seagulling." 

What's worse is that she's apparently correct. 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=seagulling

Damn...now I'm picturing this guy walking around saying "Mine! Mine! Mine!" until he shoots off on some poor unsuspecting hottie's leg.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Vandy Vol

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2013, 01:36:27 AM »
Damn...now I'm picturing this guy walking around saying "Mine! Mine! Mine!" until he shoots off on some poor unsuspecting hottie's leg.

I'm just picturing his dick.  And masturbating furiously.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2013, 08:45:18 AM »
This is all fun and games until somebody does this to one of our daughters. One of our wives. Or VV.
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Kaos

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2013, 08:47:18 AM »
This is all fun and games until somebody does this to one of our daughters. One of our wives. Or VV.

Is your wife or daughter hot?
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2013, 08:52:41 AM »
Is your wife or daughter hot?
I already do this to my wife. I just don't want anyone else, at least in Wal Mart, doing it to her.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2013, 09:00:40 AM »
I already do this to my wife. I just don't want anyone else, at least in Wal Mart, doing it to her.

What about Target?  It's a little more upscale.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #14 on: July 12, 2013, 09:12:03 AM »
What about Target?  It's a little more upscale.
Yes. That would be fine with me.
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Godfather

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #15 on: July 12, 2013, 09:17:47 AM »
The other night my wife told me to make love to her like in the movies.

So I stuck it in her ass and came all over her face. She got really pissed off.


I guess we don't watch the same movies!
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wesfau2

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #16 on: July 12, 2013, 09:22:03 AM »
Herb, we were never even in aisle 3!
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Godfather

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #17 on: July 12, 2013, 09:29:54 AM »
Herb, we were never even in aisle 3!

if you call and I'm not home I'll be at the gym or the gun club
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wesfau2

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #18 on: July 12, 2013, 09:32:55 AM »
if you call and I'm not home I'll be at the gym or the gun club

You want a beer?

It's 7 o'clock in the morning.

Scotch?
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Buzz Killington

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Re: "Clean up on Isle 3!"
« Reply #19 on: July 12, 2013, 09:43:21 AM »
220, 221...whatever it takes
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.