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Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.

The Prowler

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A sliver of Hell has been placed on a slice of Heaven in the form of a Sand Pit

Coach Russell is definitely changing the offseason workout culture.
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

Saniflush

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2013, 08:11:52 AM »
Now all they need are some Parris Island D.I.'s


GET IN MY PIT, SLIMEBALL MAGGOTS! DO IT NOW MOVE!
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2013, 10:47:26 AM »
Looks like a good place to dispose of the bodies. 
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2013, 01:59:52 PM »

A sliver of Hell has been placed on a slice of Heaven in the form of a Sand Pit

Coach Russell is definitely changing the offseason workout culture.
What's so tough about playing in the sand? Other than the abrasiveness of getting it in the ass crack, I've found it quite relaxing. I hope they get some umbrellas out there though.
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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2013, 02:39:48 PM »
What's so tough about playing in the sand? Other than the abrasiveness of getting it in the ass crack, I've found it quite relaxing. I hope they get some umbrellas out there though.

I heard the majority of the players weren't too scared of the sandpit, but they were having nightmares about the possibility of a swimming pool being installed. 
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2013, 02:55:51 PM »
I heard the majority of the players weren't too scared of the sandpit, but they were having nightmares about the possibility of a swimming pool being installed.
I bet what really has them shaking in their cleats is the idea of mandatory margaritas after practice.
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AWK

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2013, 03:06:35 PM »
I heard the majority of the players weren't too scared of the sandpit, but they were having nightmares about the possibility of a swimming pool being installed.
That's racist.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

The Prowler

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2013, 12:21:59 AM »
What's so tough about playing in the sand? Other than the abrasiveness of getting it in the ass crack...

Surely you can't be serious.  Working out in loose sand will cause you to utilize muscles that you wouldn't normaly use on solid ground (stabilizer muscles). The only negative would be possible ligament damage to the knees, depending on how hard the players are pushed (I'm hoping they're pushed to the brink of death)...but the positives far out weight that negative.
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

noxin

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #11 on: June 10, 2013, 10:56:02 AM »
What's so tough about playing in the sand? Other than the abrasiveness of getting it in the ass crack, I've found it quite relaxing. I hope they get some umbrellas out there though.

There's always the fear of seeing a shirtless guy covered with bad tattoos
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Godfather

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2013, 11:44:07 AM »
There's always the fear of seeing a shirtless guy covered with bad tattoos

Why is AJ coming to Auburn practices?
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2013, 02:59:48 PM »
Surely you can't be serious.  Working out in loose sand will cause you to utilize muscles that you wouldn't normaly use on solid ground (stabilizer muscles). The only negative would be possible ligament damage to the knees, depending on how hard the players are pushed (I'm hoping they're pushed to the brink of death)...but the positives far out weight that negative.
This is an excellent point. Maybe I will think of that next time. And don't call me Shirley.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #14 on: June 10, 2013, 03:01:44 PM »
This is an excellent point. Maybe I will think of that next time.

Life for those of us without personal chefs and butlers does not always include fruity drinks with umbrellas.  You 1%ers sure are a stuffy bunch.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

WiregrassTiger

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2013, 03:10:54 PM »
Life for those of us without personal chefs and butlers does not always include fruity drinks with umbrellas.  You 1%ers sure are a stuffy bunch.
This is WT's personal assistant answering this email as he had an important call to attend. He did request that I pass along this message, and I'm somewhat embarrassed to say this sir, but he's requesting that you eat cake and kiss his ass. Thanks you, Rupert Willingsdorf--WT's personal assistant
« Last Edit: June 10, 2013, 03:15:53 PM by WiregrassTiger »
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #16 on: June 10, 2013, 04:01:59 PM »
This is WT's personal assistant answering this email as he had an important call to attend. He did request that I pass along this message, and I'm somewhat embarrassed to say this sir, but he's requesting that you eat cake and kiss his ass. Thanks you, Rupert Willingsdorf--WT's personal assistant

What kind of cake?
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Tiger Wench

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2013, 06:18:36 PM »
There's always the fear of seeing a shirtless guy "bikini" clad woman with back fat and tits to her knees covered with bad mullet "A"'s and "Got 13"  tattoos

Fixt
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The Prowler

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Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #18 on: June 10, 2013, 06:36:07 PM »
Fixt
I thought they called that the Mullet toss.
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

Re: Offseason workouts for Auburn are about to get real...brutal.
« Reply #19 on: June 13, 2013, 12:30:28 AM »
Now all they need are some Parris Island D.I.'s


GET IN MY PIT, SLIMEBALL MAGGOTS! DO IT NOW MOVE!

Why do you want us to go 0-8 in the SEC again?

MAKE IT SNOW!  MAKE IT SNOW! 

And what did you call it?  Sugar Cookies?
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