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He Will Personally Return Your Call

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Vandy Vol

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He Will Personally Return Your Call
« on: April 23, 2013, 02:19:38 PM »
...while making a duck face.

Some of you in the Mobile area may have heard of this guy.  David J. Maloney, attorney at law.

Swell guy, I tell you.




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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

Saniflush

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2013, 02:52:57 PM »
Are we supposed to be providing a beat down here?
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

WiregrassTiger

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2013, 02:58:12 PM »
Yep. He wears a pinky ring too. I would suspect that rings been in several of his own orifices.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2013, 03:09:45 PM »
Cooter Sweat.  Push it til it hurts.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

wesfau2

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2013, 03:29:13 PM »
His commercials are hilarious in that the top of his head is always cropped out of the shot or covered.  He has to hide the bald.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

chinook

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2013, 03:33:00 PM »
Quote from: wesfau2 on April 23, 2013, 03:29:13 PM
His commercials are hilarious in that the top of his head is always cropped out of the shot or covered.  He has to hide the bald.

snags take note. 
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2013, 03:38:35 PM »
I can tell by looking at this guy that he doesn't care. He doesn't even care about the Eskimo chick he's square dancing with.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2013, 03:45:40 PM »
Quote from: chinook on April 23, 2013, 03:33:00 PM
snags take note.


Yoooouu're despicable
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

dallaswareagle

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2013, 04:21:05 PM »
Quote from: chinook on April 23, 2013, 03:33:00 PM
snags take note.

I got your back and some Rogain. (Super large size for both of us)
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

Vandy Vol

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2013, 04:28:17 PM »
Quote from: WiregrassTiger on April 23, 2013, 03:38:35 PM
I can tell by looking at this guy that he doesn't care. He doesn't even care about the Eskimo chick he's square dancing with.

I'm not so certain that is a chick.  If it is, then I'm pretty damn certain it wasn't always one.
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Godfather

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2013, 04:32:36 PM »
Quote from: Vandy Vol on April 23, 2013, 04:28:17 PM
I'm not so certain that is a chick.  If it is, then I'm pretty damn certain it wasn't always one.
Because her adams apple is bigger then her balls?
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Vandy Vol

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2013, 04:36:31 PM »
Quote from: Godfather on April 23, 2013, 04:32:36 PM
Because her adams apple is bigger then her balls?

I bet her hands are as big as Andre the Giant's.
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WiregrassTiger

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #12 on: April 23, 2013, 04:50:35 PM »
Quote from: Vandy Vol on April 23, 2013, 04:28:17 PM
I'm not so certain that is a chick.  If it is, then I'm pretty damn certain it wasn't always one.
Whatever it was, he still doesn't care. I want a lawyer who cares. Not in a sexual way, mind you.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #13 on: April 23, 2013, 04:52:24 PM »
Quote from: WiregrassTiger on April 23, 2013, 04:50:35 PM
Whatever it was, he still doesn't care. I want a lawyer who cares. Not in a sexual way, mind you.

I care.  I really ca...wait, you said not in a sexual way.



Never mind.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

RWS

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Re: He Will Personally Return Your Call
« Reply #14 on: April 23, 2013, 08:48:17 PM »
He also has a Lamborghini.  He enters it into local car shows sometimes, and his "woman" models with it.
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