The Official 2013 MLB Bitch and Moan Thread

AUJarhead · « **Reply #220 on:** June 05, 2013, 07:14:09 AM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on June 05, 2013, 12:22:22 AM

You are a rat bastard 4th Battalion vajayjay.

Fuck you very much.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #221 on:** June 05, 2013, 09:26:33 AM »

The Braves win in walk-off fashion last night with A. Simmons driving in the winning run in the 10th. Trying to help out the Cards with 2 straight wins over the Pirates.

I have to find something negative though. Last night, Gattis came up to pinch hit. (Intentionally walked) The announcers were talking about what a great year he was having but said twice....Freddie can't find a place for him with the resurgence of BJ Upton and Jason Heyward. Resurgence??? I know BJ has hit a couple of home runs lately but last night's HR "raised" his average to .155. 2 home runs in 5,266 at bats doth not a resurgence make.

The Braves are playing as well as anyone right now with 3 starters batting well under .200. Just think where they'd be if these guys could bat even .240

AUJarhead · « **Reply #222 on:** June 05, 2013, 10:11:36 AM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on June 05, 2013, 09:26:33 AM

The Braves win in walk-off fashion last night with A. Simmons driving in the winning run in the 10th. Trying to help out the Cards with 2 straight wins over the Pirates.

And we respond by losing in the 14th. I don't think we've won an extra inning game this year.

AWK · « **Reply #223 on:** June 05, 2013, 02:44:20 PM »

Um, you should turn on the Braves game ASAP.

AWK · « **Reply #224 on:** June 05, 2013, 02:45:27 PM »

Hah, nevermind. Jinx.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #225 on:** June 05, 2013, 03:28:43 PM »

5-0 one hit shutout. Color me impressed.

dallaswareagle · « **Reply #226 on:** June 05, 2013, 03:35:16 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on June 05, 2013, 03:28:43 PM

5-0 one hit shutout. Color me impressed.

Your choice:

ssgaufan · « **Reply #227 on:** June 11, 2013, 11:58:02 AM »

For the Wench,

stolt from the sportspickle,

1. The Houston Astros is a baseball organization that plays in Major League Baseball, widely considered the premier professional baseball league in the world!

2. The 2013 Astros will have an All-Star!

3. This year the Astros have beaten nine different MLB teams! The Rangers, Mariners, Angels, Indians, Yankees, Tigers, Pirates and Royals have all fallen to the Astros!

4. The Astros beat the New York Yankees, 9-1, on April 29, 2013. The Yankees have a $200 million payroll and own the most championships in baseball history, yet they lost by eight runs to the Astros!

5. None of the Astros' players have tested positive for steroids this year!

6. Roger Clemens, one of the greatest pitchers in history, is the team's special assistant to the general manager!

7. The Astros also have a reliever named Paul Clemens (no relation)!

8. Manager Bo Porter has NEVER been fired as a MLB manager!

9. Astros first baseman Carlos Pena was once considered one of the premier power hitting prospects in baseball! He was also portrayed in the Oscar-nominated movie Moneyball!

10. Pitcher Erik Bedard is one of the greatest French-speaking baseball players of all-time!

11. The Astros have a better record than the Marlins, who have won two World Series title in the past 15 years!

Filed Under MLB Houston Astros

GH2001 · « **Reply #228 on:** June 11, 2013, 01:04:13 PM »

Quote from: ssgaufan on June 11, 2013, 11:58:02 AM

For the Wench,

stolt from the sportspickle,

1. The Houston Astros is a baseball organization that plays in Major League Baseball, widely considered the premier professional baseball league in the world!

2. The 2013 Astros will have an All-Star!

3. This year the Astros have beaten nine different MLB teams! The Rangers, Mariners, Angels, Indians, Yankees, Tigers, Pirates and Royals have all fallen to the Astros!

4. The Astros beat the New York Yankees, 9-1, on April 29, 2013. The Yankees have a $200 million payroll and own the most championships in baseball history, yet they lost by eight runs to the Astros!

5. None of the Astros' players have tested positive for steroids this year!

6. Roger Clemens, one of the greatest pitchers in history, is the team's special assistant to the general manager!

7. The Astros also have a reliever named Paul Clemens (no relation)!

8. Manager Bo Porter has NEVER been fired as a MLB manager!

9. Astros first baseman Carlos Pena was once considered one of the premier power hitting prospects in baseball! He was also portrayed in the Oscar-nominated movie Moneyball!

10. Pitcher Erik Bedard is one of the greatest French-speaking baseball players of all-time!

11. The Astros have a better record than the Marlins, who have won two World Series title in the past 15 years!

Filed Under MLB Houston Astros

She's probably just gonna say "fuck you". And it will be hot.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #229 on:** June 11, 2013, 04:01:12 PM »

Quote from: ssgaufan on June 11, 2013, 11:58:02 AM

For the Wench,

stolt from the sportspickle,

1. The Houston Astros is a baseball organization that plays in Major League Baseball, widely considered the premier professional baseball league in the world!

2. The 2013 Astros will have an All-Star!

3. This year the Astros have beaten nine different MLB teams! The Rangers, Mariners, Angels, Indians, Yankees, Tigers, Pirates and Royals have all fallen to the Astros!

4. The Astros beat the New York Yankees, 9-1, on April 29, 2013. The Yankees have a $200 million payroll and own the most championships in baseball history, yet they lost by eight runs to the Astros!

5. None of the Astros' players have tested positive for steroids this year!

6. Roger Clemens, one of the greatest pitchers in history, is the team's special assistant to the general manager!

7. The Astros also have a reliever named Paul Clemens (no relation)!

8. Manager Bo Porter has NEVER been fired as a MLB manager!

9. Astros first baseman Carlos Pena was once considered one of the premier power hitting prospects in baseball! He was also portrayed in the Oscar-nominated movie Moneyball!

10. Pitcher Erik Bedard is one of the greatest French-speaking baseball players of all-time!

11. The Astros have a better record than the Marlins, who have won two World Series title in the past 15 years!

The path of the righteous but untalented man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish fucking owners and the tyranny of evil greedy men. Blessed is she who, in the name of charity and good will, agonizes and suffers over the weak Suckasstros as they crawl like mewling newborn kittens through the valley of darkness that is the AL, for she is truly her brother's keeper and the rememberer of lost indignities, since lo, it is only her memory of their former glory that abideth them in her heart still. So keep it up, sunshine. Because I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers, because ONE DAY, asshole, ONE DAY - baseball in its true form shall return to Houston. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee in the form of a taunting that even the French knights would find shocking.

Oh, and fuck you.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #230 on:** June 11, 2013, 04:05:42 PM »

Quote from: Tiger Wench on June 11, 2013, 04:01:12 PM

The path of the righteous but untalented man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish fucking owners and the tyranny of evil greedy men. Blessed is she who, in the name of charity and good will, agonizes and suffers over the weak Suckasstros as they crawl like mewling newborn kittens through the valley of darkness that is the AL, for she is truly her brother's keeper and the rememberer of lost indignities, since lo, it is only her memory of their former glory that abideth them in her heart still. So keep it up, sunshine. Because I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers, because ONE DAY, asshole, ONE DAY - baseball in its true form shall return to Houston. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee in the form of a taunting that even the French knights would find shocking.

Oh, and fuck you.

God...I want to have your babies.

ssgaufan · « **Reply #231 on:** July 30, 2013, 02:56:45 PM »

I finally got to watch the Braves on Sunday night, and I realized that I don't know half of the current players on this years roster.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #232 on:** July 31, 2013, 12:26:45 AM »

Quote from: ssgaufan on July 30, 2013, 02:56:45 PM

I finally got to watch the Braves on Sunday night, and I realized that I don't know half of the current players on this years roster.

The Suckasstros (hey, my iPad does an auto fill on that word now... Sweet.) are trading pitcher Bud Norris tomorrow. That means there is exactly one player left on the team that I have heard of before - Jason Castro, the catcher.

The local car dealers have to pay extra for the caption that says "Houston Astros Player" or else the spokesman in their commercial is just a random dude in a jersey. No idea who the fuck they are.

*sigh* This is so fucking depressing. I love baseball.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #233 on:** August 01, 2013, 03:09:50 PM »

Where we at? A little over 50 games to go in the season and the Braves have opened up an 11 game lead. The memory of Gonzales' Goons blowing about the same lead a couple of years ago is still fresh so I'm not counting said chickens before they hatch. However, this team does appear to be gaining momentum right now as opposed to trying to hold on. On a 6 game win streak and the last 3 against the Rockies have been fun to watch. Everyone in the line up is hitting the way you know they can...except Chopp...err, Uggla, who just fell back below the Mendoza line. But I've come to accept that he's rarely going to get on base, but he will wind up with good production. 21 HR and 51 RBI so....

The Braves are hot right now but realistically, they've been barely above .500 since the 12-1 start so I know it will tighten up before it's over. The Cardinals are showing a Jap...wait...a Taiwanese...no...a Chink in the armor, having lost 6 straight but the reality is, one of their best players went on the DL and they've been on the road to the two hottest teams, besides L.A., in the National League. The race between them and the Pirates is going to be fun to watch but I expect the Cards to come out on top. Don't think it'll matter because one will win the division and the other should be the wild card. Yes, the Dodgers are on fiyah and energized by You Squeal Pig, but I think they're peaking way too early and should drop back to the pack.

Question: anyone ever seen what Texas has done the last 3 nights? 3 walk-off homers. Dizzam!!!! It may have been done before but that's some pretty bad ass stuff right there.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #234 on:** August 02, 2013, 09:37:33 AM »

Braves win again, 9-2 runs on 15 hits. Cards uh-nye-uh-late the Pirates, 13-0. That'll cure a lot of ills.

AUJarhead · « **Reply #235 on:** August 04, 2013, 11:32:09 PM »

Quote from: Snaggletiger on August 02, 2013, 09:37:33 AM

Braves win again, 9-2 runs on 15 hits. Cards uh-nye-uh-late the Pirates, 13-0. That'll cure a lot of ills.

Pirates are good. Really good. Hard to believe that it's been since the Sid Bream Slide that they had a winning record. Have the Braves played them yet this year?

Cards have something like 18 of the next 24 games at home, and really need to get on a winning streak to make up for the 3-8 road trip. Included in that 18 games at home is a 3 game set vs ATL and a 3 game set vs PIT.

Aubie16 · « **Reply #236 on:** August 05, 2013, 06:49:39 AM »

Quote from: AUJarhead on August 04, 2013, 11:32:09 PM

Pirates are good. Really good. Hard to believe that it's been since the Sid Bream Slide that they had a winning record. Have the Braves played them yet this year?

Yeah. We're 4-3 against them. Swept them the last time in a series in June.

AUTiger1 · « **Reply #237 on:** August 05, 2013, 09:47:36 AM »

I've got nothing. Comfortably in third and losing ground.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #238 on:** August 05, 2013, 10:24:41 AM »

Comfortably 2 games ahead of the Brewers...I can't complain any more than I normally do this time of year.
Oh how I miss the Astros.

AUJarhead · « **Reply #239 on:** August 07, 2013, 04:06:28 PM »

Quote from: Buzz Killington on August 05, 2013, 10:24:41 AM

Oh how I miss the Astros.

You know they suck when she lets a few days go by without responding to that one. So I'll say it for her... Fuck you.