I can't believe I sat up and lost 30 minutes of sleep to watch that water head make his "announcement". (Well, John Cena did call out The Shield last night so it wasn't all a waste)
First, there is no way that guy passed the 6th grade.
Rueben, what was the recruiting process like?
Maaaannnnn.....I oh know maannn....it wuh like crazy an stuff...you know...like pressure and stuff...it be crazy maann...
Okay....um, so tell us about Georgia. What did you like about them?
Maaaannnnn....it wuh like...crazy an stuff....you know...Co Rick...he like puttin' God and stuff out there.....it wuh like....pressure an stuff maaannn
And you were an Auburn commit for a long time. Tell us what you thought about the Tigers.
Maaannnn...iss like crazy an stuff. I luh Co True an Arrbrerr. Then Co True leff an I like...still luh Arrbrerr...but you know...iss like pressure an stuff....
So, the time has come to tell the world about your decision. Who is it going to be? The floor is yours, Rueben.
Maaannnn....(Buries head on desk behind daughter) It wuh like emotion an stuff...it be crazy mannn...but I gots to do whus bess fo my daughter. Day gone takes care of her. It ain't about emotion no mo. I$$ bu$iness now. I$$ all about bu$iness.