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Who's Off The Wagon?

Who's Off The Wagon?
« on: September 15, 2012, 08:12:15 PM »
I'm off.  I'm off the Gene Chizik wagon.  I was last week too, but this is official.  Overtime to beat LA Monroe? 

Overtime?  I don't care how good they are.  Even if they're the best team in their conference, they're still the best Sun Belt team.  We're in the SEC.  The bottom of the barrel, perennial losers of the SEC struggle with Sun Belt teams.

Alabama, crippled by sanctions and a lack of team discipline and a new head coach with a vastly different system, struggles with Sun Belt teams.

Arkansas, dismantled by their former head coach's love affair and plagued by injuries and suffocated by an ignorant boob for a current head coach, struggles with Sun Belt teams.

An SEC coach in his fourth tenure year with multiple top recruiting classes should NOT FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING FUCK EVER STRUGGLE WITH SUN BELT TEAMS. 

Let alone a week after losing to Miss State, one of the few teams in the SEC that is embarrassing to lose to. 

So I'm off.  We can beat LSU this week, and I won't praise Chizik. 

I'm the scrooge that will point out everything that's wrong.  I'm the thorn in your optimism's side. 

Why was LA Monroe able to come into Jordan Hare and take us to the wire?  It's easy to say, "Well, LA Monroe has a good football team."  So, why do they have a good football team?  Are their players talented?  Are they traditionally a good football team? 

How does Boise State recruit lower tier talent and year after year produce good football teams?  Why, even in their conference, do they consistently win 10+ games a year? 

Why was it that after 6 years (or 15) of suckage, Nick Saban could come to Tuscaloosa and in two years produce a consistently dominant football team? 

Why was Jim Tressel's Ohio State teams called overrated due to their conference opponents, yet once he left, Ohio State's dominance dwindled? 

How is it possible for a team like Oklahoma, which resides in the dusty, boring midwest, able to produce an annually ranked top ten team?  Why are they scoffed at when they only lose two games a year? 

How did West Virginia go from being a great program under Rich Rodriguez to being a mediocre program under Bill Stewart and back to being an upper level program under Dana Holgerson? 

You know the answer to ALL of those questions? 

Leadership and coaching stemmed from the head coach.  The programs that succeed on a regular basis have a system implemented by the head coach that consistently produces a competitive football team. 

Those teams I listed have nothing in common.  Nothing.  Some are bottom tier schools in subpar conferences.  Some are new kids on the block who have only recently experienced success.  Some are traditional powerhouses that knew of championships long ago.  Some went from top of the world to down in the dumps to back to top of the world. 

It's coaching.  And we don't have it.  Our coach's system does not produce a competitive football on a regular basis. 

That is why we fired Tuberville.  We weren't going to accept a program that failed to live up to expectations.  There's no need whatsoever to suddenly not have expectations.  We expect to have a competitive football team.  We shouldn't have to care about how young they are.  We shouldn't have to care about attrition.  We shouldn't have to wonder about player development and everything else. 

I'm off the wagon. 

/rant
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2012, 08:21:57 PM »
I <3 You.  I am very drunk, but at this moment in time, I <3 you. 

I can handle anything but a lack of leadership.  I seriously don't mind the win loss record as long as we do it as a united Auburn team.  But the lack of leadership on this team obviously comes from the top.  And that makes me so sad.
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The Prowler

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2012, 08:33:53 PM »
Might as well, since the retards will keep screaming and won't shut up until it's done, which will cripple any recruiting (hint: it's already starting).

I want to see what NEW OC Coach Loeffler and NEW DC Coach Van Gorder can do with a full year. I guess I don't mind the bumps and bruises if I can see the bigger picture (which doesn't involve crying, complaining and stomping my feet).

What I'm trying to say, it'll get better...have some fucking patience.
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Tiger Wench

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2012, 08:37:24 PM »
Might as well, since the retards will keep screaming and won't shut up until it's done, which will cripple any recruiting (hint: it's already starting).

I want to see what NEW OC Coach Loeffler and NEW DC Coach Van Gorder can do with a full year. I guess I don't mind the bumps and bruises if I can see the bigger picture (which doesn't involve crying, complaining and stomping my feet).

What I'm trying to say, it'll get better...have some fucking patience.

Dude, there's bigger picture and there's ignoring the huge hole the iceberg has already gashed in the hull of the ship.  You can cry for patience but the ship is still going down, and like it or not, the Captain is the one going down with it.
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JR4AU

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2012, 08:40:16 PM »
Might as well, since the retards will keep screaming and won't shut up until it's done, which will cripple any recruiting (hint: it's already starting).

I want to see what NEW OC Coach Loeffler and NEW DC Coach Van Gorder can do with a full year. I guess I don't mind the bumps and bruises if I can see the bigger picture (which doesn't involve crying, complaining and stomping my feet).

What I'm trying to say, it'll get better...have some fucking patience.

Players are not being developed or pushed to get better.  It's more than just getting used to a new scheme(s).  People make a big deal about it, but it's more just learning a new language.  It's not like it's completely foreign football concepts on either side of the ball, just packaged differently with different philosophies.
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2012, 08:50:07 PM »
I thought it had to have wheels to be considered a wagon?  Those wheels are still stuck in the mud of Mudville Starkville.
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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2012, 09:03:52 PM »
I was so off I couldn't even see the wagon. 

Then I got wet against West Virginia and followed the muddy wagon tracks to join the throng that were chasing it. 

Then Kentucky shit on our doorstep at home and I wandered off to look at some trees.  Then we pig fucked Ole Miss, had the bammer dipsticks on the ropes and had a crazy bowl game.  It was fun.  So I walked back to the wagon line. 

And then Cam. Marvelous magnificent Cam. I love him. I forgot everything as we lived through more off-field bullshit than anyone could be expected to -- and came out with everything.  So I sat on the tailgate and rode along.  Surviving that adversity?  Keeping the team focused?  Must have been wrong.

And then last year.  I didn't understand the whole Trotter thing.  I didn't understand why Dyer would be invisible for long stretches, just standing around on the sidelines.  I didn't like getting ass raped by Arkansas, LSU, Georgia and Alabama. But I figured it was okay because we'd lost Cam and no mere mortal could make up for that. 

And now here we are.

I don't want to get back off the wagon because it took me a while to get there. Don't want to admit that I was right about being wrong about being right.  That makes my head hurt.   But I think about 2010.  Cam was the most gifted athlete in the history of the college game perhaps.  He was everything Tebow wanted to be but isn't.  He's Joe Montana and Barry Sanders merged.  And we struggled to beat Clemson. Struggled to beat SC. Struggled to beat KY.  It wasn't like 2004 where we went out and just absolutely bitch-slapped everybody but LSU.  And I wonder.  Should we have struggled?  Shouldn't we have dominated? 

And then I hear about Alabama.  Dominant. We lose four first rounders and it's going to be a five year rebuilding process apparently.  They lose four and are better than they were before.  I don't get it.  I hate it, I hate them and I wish the damn tornado had jigged just a little bit to the left. 

Then I look at Arkansas.  Even with Tyler Wilson they still get raped like a cub scout in the Penn State shower room today.  But I bet they don't with Bobby still there.  And I wonder. 

We're on the express train to hell.  And I don't know what wagon I'm on any more.  I want Chizik to be successful if for no other reason than to make every bammer who's brayed 5-19 or 16-10 over the last four years to eat a dick with those numbers tattooed on it. 

I only watched the fourth quarter today, but what I saw on Chizik's face was absolute bumfuckery.  He looked every bit as lost as I would be and the players felt it.  The sideline looked miserable, disorganized and disjointed. 

I want it to get better and I pray he's the man to make it so.  I'm trying, Rico.  I'm trying to keep the faith. 

I saw a car burning today.  It was on the side of the road, engulfed in flames that were a vibrant orange and roaring 20 feet in the air.  Fire was spilling over the trunk, raging from the hood, melting the tires, licking out from under the carriage and the entire interior of the car was a mass of flame so brilliant it was painful to look at.  A guy I assume to be the car's owner was standing about 20 feet away, just staring at the vehicle.  The look on his face was exactly the same look I saw on Chizik's face, Frazier's face and the faces of several others.  Dumbstruck disbelief. 

*sigh*
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JR4AU

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2012, 09:18:03 PM »
But I think about 2010.  Cam was the most gifted athlete in the history of the college game perhaps.  He was everything Tebow wanted to be but isn't.  He's Joe Montana and Barry Sanders merged.  And we struggled to beat Clemson. Struggled to beat SC. Struggled to beat KY.  It wasn't like 2004 where we went out and just absolutely bitch-slapped everybody but LSU.  And I wonder.  Should we have struggled?  Shouldn't we have dominated?

That considered, plus add in Fairley, and 24 Seniors in their second year in the systems...yeah, we should have ass raped everybody.  You make some salient points for sure.   Never thought to look at 2010 like that, but you're exactly right.
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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2012, 09:19:36 PM »
Might as well, since the retards will keep screaming and won't shut up until it's done, which will cripple any recruiting (hint: it's already starting).

I want to see what NEW OC Coach Loeffler and NEW DC Coach Van Gorder can do with a full year. I guess I don't mind the bumps and bruises if I can see the bigger picture (which doesn't involve crying, complaining and stomping my feet).

What I'm trying to say, it'll get better...have some fucking patience.

Your argument isn't sound.

Alabama replaced their long time offensive coordinator while losing their veteran center and Heisman candidate running back.

Their offense looks better this year than it did last year. 

Ours?  Looks like a steaming pile of dogshit that's being eaten by the neighbor's retard dog. 
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2012, 09:22:04 PM »
I was so off I couldn't even see the wagon. 

Then I got wet against West Virginia and followed the muddy wagon tracks to join the throng that were chasing it. 

Then Kentucky shit on our doorstep at home and I wandered off to look at some trees.  Then we pig fucked Ole Miss, had the bammer dipsticks on the ropes and had a crazy bowl game.  It was fun.  So I walked back to the wagon line. 

And then Cam. Marvelous magnificent Cam. I love him. I forgot everything as we lived through more off-field bullshit than anyone could be expected to -- and came out with everything.  So I sat on the tailgate and rode along.  Surviving that adversity?  Keeping the team focused?  Must have been wrong.

And then last year.  I didn't understand the whole Trotter thing.  I didn't understand why Dyer would be invisible for long stretches, just standing around on the sidelines.  I didn't like getting ass raped by Arkansas, LSU, Georgia and Alabama. But I figured it was okay because we'd lost Cam and no mere mortal could make up for that. 

And now here we are.

I don't want to get back off the wagon because it took me a while to get there. Don't want to admit that I was right about being wrong about being right.  That makes my head hurt.   But I think about 2010.  Cam was the most gifted athlete in the history of the college game perhaps.  He was everything Tebow wanted to be but isn't.  He's Joe Montana and Barry Sanders merged.  And we struggled to beat Clemson. Struggled to beat SC. Struggled to beat KY.  It wasn't like 2004 where we went out and just absolutely bitch-slapped everybody but LSU.  And I wonder.  Should we have struggled?  Shouldn't we have dominated? 

And then I hear about Alabama.  Dominant. We lose four first rounders and it's going to be a five year rebuilding process apparently.  They lose four and are better than they were before.  I don't get it.  I hate it, I hate them and I wish the damn tornado had jigged just a little bit to the left. 

Then I look at Arkansas.  Even with Tyler Wilson they still get raped like a cub scout in the Penn State shower room today.  But I bet they don't with Bobby still there.  And I wonder. 

We're on the express train to hell.  And I don't know what wagon I'm on any more.  I want Chizik to be successful if for no other reason than to make every bammer who's brayed 5-19 or 16-10 over the last four years to eat a dick with those numbers tattooed on it. 

I only watched the fourth quarter today, but what I saw on Chizik's face was absolute bumfuckery.  He looked every bit as lost as I would be and the players felt it.  The sideline looked miserable, disorganized and disjointed. 

I want it to get better and I pray he's the man to make it so.  I'm trying, Rico.  I'm trying to keep the faith. 

I saw a car burning today.  It was on the side of the road, engulfed in flames that were a vibrant orange and roaring 20 feet in the air.  Fire was spilling over the trunk, raging from the hood, melting the tires, licking out from under the carriage and the entire interior of the car was a mass of flame so brilliant it was painful to look at.  A guy I assume to be the car's owner was standing about 20 feet away, just staring at the vehicle.  The look on his face was exactly the same look I saw on Chizik's face, Frazier's face and the faces of several others.  Dumbstruck disbelief. 

*sigh*

That's where I was last week. 

Wanting to be on the wagon.  Wanting to give Chizik a glimmer of hope.  Wanting to see the guy succeed after being so calm and cool during the Cam scandal.  Wanting to see the guy hoist up multiple trophies for Auburn.  Wanting him to be there for twenty years and be our own special legend. 

He preached integrity.  He preached family.  He was a winner.  He was fun.  He wasn't a tyrant.  He's been proven to not be a cheater. 

But it's apparent that something is wrong.  Maybe Chizik is a great coach.  Maybe he can lead a program to greatness, but maybe something happened after 2010. 

Maybe he didn't know how to handle success. 

I don't know.  Don't really care at this point.  Auburn doesn't struggle with LA Monroe.  We don't get embarrassed by Miss State. 

We don't go into the LSU week, two years in a row, and feel like we're about to get ass raped.
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2012, 09:27:38 PM »
More evidence:

Florida.

They left last season an absolute train wreck on offense.  They came into this season with a lot of unknowns and looked downright awful against Bowling Green. 

They settled on a quarterback and have steadily improved each week. 

Now they have over 500 yards of offense in Knoxville. 

Are they the new offensive powerhouse?  No.  Not by any means.  But it's easy to see the improvement.  It's easy to see them developing an offensive identity. 

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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #11 on: September 15, 2012, 09:32:52 PM »
Alabama replaced their long time offensive coordinator
To be fair, while Alabama replaced the OC, he was not allowed to bring his offense. Saban made him learn Alabama's offense and use that. You guys were ditching the spread, so I don't think that was an option.
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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2012, 09:33:49 PM »
Auburn is racing neck and neck with Kentucky as the most embarrassing team in the conference this year.

That's what I don't get at all. New systems? Fine. But most of our guys don't seem to know systems that are in place in Pop Warner leagues.

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GH2001

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2012, 09:34:03 PM »
That considered, plus add in Fairley, and 24 Seniors in their second year in the systems...yeah, we should have ass raped everybody.  You make some salient points for sure.   Never thought to look at 2010 like that, but you're exactly right.

Yes. Everything Kaos and THS said. All of it is correct. We are lost. I don't care who ULM beat last week. I saw this one in person today. Some of it with you. You saw what I did. It looked even worse in person than the last 2 weeks. Im just puzzled. This is bad.
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WDE

Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2012, 09:34:33 PM »
To be fair, while Alabama replaced the OC, he was not allowed to bring his offense. Saban made him learn Alabama's offense and use that. You guys were ditching the spread, so I don't think that was an option.

So the head coach knew the best way to keep his team competitive and consistently rolling along and didn't allow a new guy to be the reason his system had a breakdown for a season or two? 

Point still stands. 
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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #15 on: September 15, 2012, 10:13:55 PM »
To be fair, while Alabama replaced the OC, he was not allowed to bring his offense. Saban made him learn Alabama's offense and use that. You guys were ditching the spread, so I don't think that was an option.

Fuck Saban until he bleeds to death. 
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GH2001

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #16 on: September 15, 2012, 10:16:20 PM »
Fuck Saban until he bleeds to death.

 Thats probably what Saban's defense will do to us in November.
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Kaos

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #17 on: September 15, 2012, 10:16:53 PM »
Thats probably what Saban's defense will do to us in November.

We'll be dead long before that.  They'll just be fucking a corpse.
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GH2001

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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2012, 10:18:56 PM »
We'll be dead long before that.  They'll just be fucking a corpse.

You are right. After lsu and uga, we will be a mere carcass for the midget to feast on.
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Re: Who's Off The Wagon?
« Reply #19 on: September 15, 2012, 10:27:55 PM »
AUFeagamily.com isn't off the wagon.  They have a "no whiners" thread.  And Florence not dressing out today means he must have a bad attitude and AU is better off without that kind of player.

Did those ignorant fucks look at the field today?  I'd take my grandmother over Jake Holland.  I don't even know what position Florence plays, but he could AT LEAST stand 15 yards from the line of scrimmage and jump up and down until somebody pancaked his ass. 

My 12 year old daughter watched a few plays -- god bless her she cares not one whit for football and I think I'm glad of it -- and when ULM was driving she asks absently "why are there no Auburn players in the middle?"

And I look.  She's right. There's not a damn soul visible behind the line.  Green grass as far as I could see.  Where the hell was Holland?
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