They Come Out Of the Woodwork

Snaggletiger · « **on:** September 14, 2012, 12:05:03 PM »

Our local sports talk shows are pretty docile for the most part, but when you have one of our State schools going through something like AU is now, everybody's an expert. Everyone has an opinion. Some people shouldn't be allowed to. Or at least not allowed to express one. I cringed this morning, hoping tourists headed to the beach had not found our little station while driving through the Circle City. (Axis of the Universe) The following is in no way an exaggeration of the call I heard this morning and I assume the guy was a Bammer, but really couldn't tell for sure. I got in the Sexpedition and came in on the following.

Caller: So, splain to me the difference in the spread and a pro style offense.

Host gives a quick summary.

Caller: So whatcher sayin' is the pro style offense is a dumbded down (Yes, he said dumbded down) version of the spread and the spread is really just a type of wishbone offense.

Host...."Uummmm"....

Caller: You ain't got near the decisions to make in the pro style and all Frazier has to do is decide if he's gone option or what receiver he's gone throw it to.

Host: .."Uuuhhh"....

Caller: That means Frazier has to be dumber than ditch water if he can't run that offense. I heard it right here on this station thet Gene Stallings used to get his coordinators in on every Sunday after a game and tell both coordinators how he wanted them to plan fer the next team. Gene Chizik ain't doin' that in my opinion. I heard Gene Stallings did that right here on this station. Don't know if it was on this show or the Finebawm show, but I heard. Chizik ain't doin' that, is he?

Host: Well, I...

Caller: Now Saybin, he don't coddle his players like Chizik does. Chizik talkin bout, he's our quarterback and we're behind him. Shoot, Saybin gets up in his players face and I seen him slap his quarerback on the behind real hard. Chizik don't do that and he's coddlin them players. You can't coddle them players and that's why Saybin is playin' fer championships and Chizik ain't.

Host: Thanks for your call. Let's move on to Jack.

I wanted to get off the road as quickly as possible because I realized there are actually people like that walking and driving amongst us.

GH2001 · « **Reply #1 on:** September 14, 2012, 12:08:52 PM »

Chizik only slaps and yells at his players when they accidentally trip over an opposing player. Goes hand in hand with helmet alignment. A system if you will.

Kaos · « **Reply #2 on:** September 14, 2012, 02:38:36 PM »

I'm going to get killed.

Car being serviced. Went to mall in mobile to eat sushi and waste time. Go in the AU/Bammer store.

Some little sawed off bama fuck with a white wifebeater and tattoos struts in. I'm on the AU side of the store minding my own business. Don't even look at him. And it starts.

"Wouldnt be touching that Auburn shit if I was you. Gonna get boogers on your hands"

I ignored him.

"Aubren sucks. Ain't nothing but a bunch of damn homos."

Ignore.

"only reason I'd go to Aubren is to cut down some more trees and wipe my ass with that toilet paper."

Ignore. At this point a couple of other turds have come in and they're tucking it up with this fuck.

"this is Alabama goddamit. Folks that ain't for their own state is traitors. If they don't like Alabama and want to wear that orange shit they can just get the fuck out."

That was enough.

Me: So what year did you finish at Alabama? Any college? I'll make it easier. What year did you quit high school?"

Rage.

"FUCK you old bastard. Just cause you got a little money you think youre better than me? You ain't SHIT. 42-14 motherfucker. Graduate that. 15 national championships. Won't no pussy education buy them rings. You go on out in the parking lot and a real bama fan is made of."

Me: it's obvious you're full of shit. I figure you're made of it too. You might whip my ass but I've had enough of you sidewalk peckerhrads running your mouth. You might kill me but I guarantee I'll make it as hard on you as I can.

The clerk then steps in and tells ME I have to go before he calls true cops.

Chickenshit stays in the store bitching cause "them Aubs just pissed cause they losers!"

The weasel fuck walked right past me later at the door and didn't even look my way

Saniflush · « **Reply #3 on:** September 14, 2012, 02:44:58 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on September 14, 2012, 02:38:36 PM

The clerk then steps in and tells ME I have to go before he calls true cops.

I would tell the clerk to please do so and after that to please call their manager.. That I have been verbally threatened.

Godfather · « **Reply #4 on:** September 14, 2012, 02:46:16 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on September 14, 2012, 02:38:36 PM

I'm going to get killed.

Car being serviced. Went to mall in mobile to eat sushi and waste time. Go in the AU/Bammer store.

Some little sawed off bama fuck with a white wifebeater and tattoos struts in. I'm on the AU side of the store minding my own business. Don't even look at him. And it starts.

"Wouldnt be touching that Auburn shit if I was you. Gonna get boogers on your hands"

I ignored him.

"Aubren sucks. Ain't nothing but a bunch of damn homos."

Ignore.

"only reason I'd go to Aubren is to cut down some more trees and wipe my ass with that toilet paper."

Ignore. At this point a couple of other turds have come in and they're tucking it up with this fuck.

"this is Alabama goddamit. Folks that ain't for their own state is traitors. If they don't like Alabama and want to wear that orange shit they can just get the fuck out."

That was enough.

Me: So what year did you finish at Alabama? Any college? I'll make it easier. What year did you quit high school?"

Rage.

"FUCK you old bastard. Just cause you got a little money you think youre better than me? You ain't SHIT. 42-14 motherfucker. Graduate that. 15 national championships. Won't no pussy education buy them rings. You go on out in the parking lot and a real bama fan is made of."

Me: it's obvious you're full of shit. I figure you're made of it too. You might whip my ass but I've had enough of you sidewalk peckerhrads running your mouth. You might kill me but I guarantee I'll make it as hard on you as I can.

The clerk then steps in and tells ME I have to go before he calls true cops.

Chickenshit stays in the store bitching cause "them Aubs just pissed cause they losers!"

The weasel fuck walked right past me later at the door and didn't even look my way

I call BS... who the fuck gets sushi in a mall?

Godfather · « **Reply #5 on:** September 14, 2012, 02:47:00 PM »

Quote from: Saniflush on September 14, 2012, 02:44:58 PM

I would tell the clerk to please do so and after that to please call their manager.. That I have been verbally threatened.

and that ladies and germs is how it's done.

The Six · « **Reply #6 on:** September 14, 2012, 02:49:55 PM »

Quote from: Godfather on September 14, 2012, 02:46:16 PM

I call BS... who the fudge gets sushi in a mall?

Isn't the sushi place next to the Hot Topic!?

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #7 on:** September 14, 2012, 03:25:54 PM »

Quote from: Saniflush on September 14, 2012, 02:44:58 PM

I would tell the clerk to please do so and after that to please call their manager.. That I have been verbally threatened.

The cops would at a minimum have to run an ID check on everyone present. Considering that at least one of the goat fuckers probably had outstanding warrants, you would have done the world a favor for at least the weekend.

Kaos · « **Reply #8 on:** September 14, 2012, 03:37:11 PM »

Was too mad to think clearly. I really waned to see if he could kill me.

E wasnt loud. Just said stuff in a calm manner, quietly and just to him. Not sure why the clerk even got in it.

I guess I should have let him call the cops. Hindsight.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #9 on:** September 14, 2012, 03:42:34 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on September 14, 2012, 03:37:11 PM

Was too mad to think clearly. I really waned to see if he could kill me.

E wasnt loud. Just said stuff in a calm manner, quietly and just to him. Not sure why the clerk even got in it.

I guess I should have let him call the cops. Hindsight.

Now you have a plan for next time... :-)