Don't be jealous that our athletes actually progress to be worth something in their prospective professional sports.
My leg be hurtin' bitch. And I done stubt my toe. So fuck you.
Oh yeah? Well I sprained both knees, popped an ankle ligament, dislocated my shoulder and broke my dick during this dangerous NFL maneuver. So I retired.
"And the most important thing about being an NFL quarterback is to make sure that you carry spare dry erase markers in your pocket. You don't want to run dry during a game."