Greatest Cheater Ever

[Kaos]

I always scoffed at those who marveled at Lance "I Can Ride A Bike" Armstrong and tried to claim he was the best athlete in the history of the universe.

We've seen the best ever in Jordan Hare Stadium and they didn't get there by pedaling like a ten-year old (although one did ride a scooter). 

Now that Armstrong has essentially admitted that his entire history is a chemical fantasy, can we take that "best athlete ever" flag away forever? Can we not ever have to hear that again? 

Because really?  Cam would stomp him into a mudhole and has more athletic ability in his left fingernail than dope boy has in his entire yellow body.  Bo would break him like an offending baseball bat.  Just snap his chemically enhanced frame over a thigh. 

Fuck Lance Armstrong.  I win.

[Saniflush]

I always scoffed at those who marveled at Lance "I Can Ride A Bike" Armstrong and tried to claim he was the best athlete in the history of the universe.

We've seen the best ever in Jordan Hare Stadium and they didn't get there by pedaling like a ten-year old (although one did ride a scooter). 

Now that Armstrong has essentially admitted that his entire history is a chemical fantasy, can we take that "best athlete ever" flag away forever? Can we not ever have to hear that again? 

Because really?  Cam would stomp him into a mudhole and has more athletic ability in his left fingernail than dope boy has in his entire yellow body.  Bo would break him like an offending baseball bat.  Just snap his chemically enhanced frame over a thigh. 

Fuck Lance Armstrong.  I win.

 

[Buzz Killington]

I thought this was a thread about Paul Bryant.

[Godfather]

I thought this was a thread about Paul Bryant.

Paul Bryant doped to get all those wins?  That bastard.

[djsimp]

Was there any proof that Armstrong cheated? Honest question because I don't really know and I didn't
really follow the situation. I did however follow the Cam Newton/Auburn investigation and both have been
labeled as guilty without any proof.

[AUChizad]

Was there any proof that Armstrong cheated? Honest question because I don't really know and I didn't
really follow the situation. I did however follow the Cam Newton/Auburn investigation and both have been
labeled as guilty without any proof.

No, he "essentially admitted guilt" by announcing that he "is finished fighting a barrage of drug charges from the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency".

http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20120823/sports/708239536/

Armstrong clearly knew his legacy would be blemished by his decision. He said he has grown tired of defending himself in a seemingly never-ending fight against charges that he doped while piling up more Tour victories than anyone ever. He has consistently pointed to the hundreds of drug tests that he passed as proof of his innocence during his extraordinary run of Tour titles from 1999 to 2005.

"There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say, 'Enough is enough.' For me, that time is now," Armstrong said Thursday night, hours before the deadline to enter arbitration. He called the USADA investigation an "unconstitutional witch hunt."

"I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in winning my seven Tours since 1999," he said. "The toll this has taken on my family and my work for our foundation and on me leads me to where I am today — finished with this nonsense."

[djsimp]

I see nothing in there that says he admitted to doping.

[Kaos]

I see nothing in there that says he admitted to doping.

OJ didn't do it either.  Barry Bond's head grew three sizes that day because he heard the Whos sing in Whoville.  Mark McGwire had Popeye arms because he ate his spinach. 

Pfft. Pffffft.  Pfffffft. 

They're not going to yank all his titles and ban him for life if there was doubt.  He's not fighting because he knows he can't win. 

He's taking the pussy way out.  He gets to pretend like it never happened by accepting the punishment and waving the "I'm tired of this game" flag.  That way he doesn't have to deal with the reality and have everybody know for sure that he's a fucking fake ass fraud cheater.

No lo contendre.  "You got me, but I didn't do it."

[djsimp]

All I am saying is that after the whole Cam Newton deal, I take a slightly different approach to this kind of shit. Especially when someone has done everything that sports governing body has asked him to do but yet they still pursue him like relentless rabid dogs. What I see is a bunch of French butt buddies that are extremely pissed that some American dominated them for so long. They took it to a point of no return in pushing this issue holding the credibility of that sport as a banner. They obviously felt that they could eventually wear him down to make him give up. So essentially Armstrong said fuck it, this ugly ass neon yellow Speedo shirt isn't worth it anymore. That doesn't mean he doped, that just means he tired of the bullshit.

Does it mean Auburn or Cam Newton were/are guilty because they were silent for the most part during the investigation and still to this day? Not for me or other Auburn fans but by god is does for everybody else.

[Kaos]

All I am saying is that after the whole Cam Newton deal, I take a slightly different approach to this kind of shit. Especially when someone has done everything that sports governing body has asked him to do but yet they still pursue him like relentless rabid dogs. What I see is a bunch of French butt buddies that are extremely pissed that some American dominated them for so long. They took it to a point of no return in pushing this issue holding the credibility of that sport as a banner. They obviously felt that they could eventually wear him down to make him give up. So essentially Armstrong said fuck it, this ugly ass neon yellow Speedo shirt isn't worth it anymore. That doesn't mean he doped, that just means he tired of the bullshit.

Does it mean Auburn or Cam Newton were/are guilty because they were silent for the most part during the investigation and still to this day? Not for me or other Auburn fans but by god is does for everybody else.

There's no correlation whatsoever. 

If the NCAA said "hey, we're going to ban AJ McTattoo for life for snorting coke and killing hookers and give Bama the death penalty for eternity and take away all 14 BS titles because they provided him lines" and AJ said "well that's cool" and Mal Moore said "Yeah, we're just tired of hearing about it so come clean out the trophy case, but we didn't do anything...." 

You know what they did. 

Not the same thing AT ALL.  Not even close.  They have evidence, Mr. Ten Speed knows they're going to nail him to the cross so he says "Well, you caught me.  But I didn't do it." 

I had a friend like that once.  Video evidence of him with another woman. Sent to his wife by his mistress.   His wife showed it to him.  He says "that's not me."  It was clearly him.  But through the entire divorce, he said the same thing.  Nope.  Wasn't me. 

[AUChizad]

All I am saying is that after the whole Cam Newton deal, I take a slightly different approach to this kind of shit. Especially when someone has done everything that sports governing body has asked him to do but yet they still pursue him like relentless rabid dogs. What I see is a bunch of French butt buddies that are extremely pissed that some American dominated them for so long. They took it to a point of no return in pushing this issue holding the credibility of that sport as a banner. They obviously felt that they could eventually wear him down to make him give up. So essentially Armstrong said fuck it, this ugly ass neon yellow Speedo shirt isn't worth it anymore. That doesn't mean he doped, that just means he tired of the bullshit.

Does it mean Auburn or Cam Newton were/are guilty because they were silent for the most part during the investigation and still to this day? Not for me or other Auburn fans but by god is does for everybody else.

^ Gets it.

I'm not saying I know for 100% fact that he did nothing wrong, but it sure seems like he was bullied into this after relentless unreasonable pressure that, up until now, he had complied with, and passed screening asked of him for years and years and years. He's finally fed up with the bureaucracy.

It's really pretty amazing to me that Kaos is such a "lynch 'em now, facts be damned" kind of guy despite seeing nearly first-hand how the Cam shit went down.

Look, I don't have any Armstrong posters in my room. I could give a fuck. In fact, those Livestrong bracelets used to annoy the shit out of me.

But I'm sick of this society we've built where there's this rabid desire, nay need, to tear great people down. To destroy someone's legacy. To illegitimize them. Do you think there were people scrambling to out Babe Ruth's mistresses a'la Tiger Woods to taint his image? It makes us feel better that for that one moment, it's probably not that great to be Lance Armstrong. And we bask in it. We're a TMZ society.

If the Cam Newton's on the other foot, so to speak, everyone who can't claim them as their own hates them and wants to destroy them. It's the bammer mentality. You're not cheering for your guy in the NASCAR race, you're cheering for the guy you don't like to hit the wall and incinerate in a fiery crash.

Society, please, let's stop this.

 

[noxin]

He says "that's not me."  It was clearly him.  But through the entire divorce, he said the same thing.  Nope.  Wasn't me.

The ol' Eddie Murphy Raw defense

[djsimp]

Not the same thing AT ALL.  Not even close.  They have evidence, Mr. Ten Speed knows they're going to nail him to the cross so he says "Well, you caught me.  But I didn't do it." 

What evidence, they have none. The only thing they have is Armstrong unwilling to fight this anymore. He has been passing every drug test they throw at him along with any other bullshit.

Anyway, I've already spent too much of my time defending a sport full of men who look malnourished and like to spend hours sitting on a dildo.

[AUChizad]

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/08/24/us-cycling-armstrong-doping-idUSBRE87N03N20120824

He maintained that emphatic denial in the statement issued on Thursday, stressing that there was no physical evidence to support what he called Tygart's "outlandish and heinous claims".

Armstrong, who never failed a doping test, said he would "jump at the chance" to put the allegations to rest once and for all, but refused to participate in the USADA process, which he called "one-sided and unfair".

"Today I will turn the page," Armstrong said. "I will no longer address this issue regardless of the circumstances."

He disputed the agency's authority to take away his titles.

Johan Bruyneel, the former sporting director of the two teams Armstrong won his Tour titles with, is also accused of involvement in the case by USADA and criticized the process while defending the American.

"I'm disappointed for Lance and for cycling in general that things have reached a stage where Lance feels that he has had enough and is no longer willing to participate in USADA's campaign against him," the Belgian wrote on his blog www.johanbruyneel.com.

"Lance has never withdrawn from a fair fight in his life so his decision today underlines what an unjust process this has been."

World Anti-doping Agency (WADA) chief John Fahey said that Armstrong's decision not to contest the allegations should lead to the American being stripped of his Tour de France wins.

"He had the right to rip up those charges but he elected not, therefore the only interpretation in these circumstances is that there was substance in those charges," Fahey told Reuters in a telephone interview on Friday.

He has emerged clean time after time, throughout investigations spanning over two years, and other incessant accusations going back to the 90's, and it's never enough. That's got to be hell. Is it worth it? If you know you're in the clear? You know you won those titles legitimately? Is it worth it to go through that, and put your family through that? Enough finally becomes enough at some point.

If you want to stick to the Cam Newton analogy, this is the equivalent of the NCAA coming up with nothing, then the FBI does their own investigation, and they come up with nothing. Then the SEC wants to do its own investigation and comes up with nothing. Yahoo Sports gets involved and comes up with nothing. Finally, when ESPN insists they do their own investigation, Newton says, "You know what? Fuck it. I cheated. I never won the Heisman. I never won a National Championship. If that'll make you leave me the fuck alone, then fine."

[AU_Tiger_2000]

He rode a bicycle in France really fast for a long way.  Do not care one way or the other.

[GH2001]

No, he "essentially admitted guilt" by announcing that he "is finished fighting a barrage of drug charges from the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency".

http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20120823/sports/708239536/

You and Kaos have no clue what you are talking about.

You of all people should see it from his eyes (seeing what has happened to Auburn and the Saints). He was going to be guilty regardless whether he fought it or not. He saw the writing on the wall. So why spend millions fighting it any longer?

He passed over 700 fucking tests! He did everything asked of him and played by their rules. This was a witch hunt, plain and simple. Tygart had a personal ax to grind with Lance.

I like how the "evidence" against him are some bullshit accounts from 2 KNOWN DOPERS and LIARS - Hamilton and Landis. Real credible. And still, no failed drug tests. 

[AUChizad]

You and Kaos have no clue what you are talking about.

You of all people should see it from his eyes (seeing what has happened to Auburn and the Saints). He was going to be guilty regardless whether he fought it or not. He saw the writing on the wall. So why spend millions fighting it any longer?

He passed over 700 fucking tests! He did everything asked of him and played by their rules. This was a witch hunt, plain and simple. Tygart had a personal ax to grind with Lance.

I like how the "evidence" against him are some bullshit accounts from 2 KNOWN DOPERS and LIARS - Hamilton and Landis. Real credible. And still, no failed drug tests.

How does this make me wrong?

Is this not exactly what I was saying? It pains you to agree with me so badly that you paint me into the opposite side of my actual argument so you can disagree with it...

[GH2001]

I always scoffed at those who marveled at Lance "I Can Ride A Bike" Armstrong and tried to claim he was the best athlete in the history of the universe.

We've seen the best ever in Jordan Hare Stadium and they didn't get there by pedaling like a ten-year old (although one did ride a scooter). 

Now that Armstrong has essentially admitted that his entire history is a chemical fantasy, can we take that "best athlete ever" flag away forever? Can we not ever have to hear that again? 

Because really?  Cam would stomp him into a mudhole and has more athletic ability in his left fingernail than dope boy has in his entire yellow body.  Bo would break him like an offending baseball bat.  Just snap his chemically enhanced frame over a thigh. 

Fuck Lance Armstrong.  I win.

Lance's V02 Max is higher than you could dream of Softball boy. You wouldn't know athletic ability if it hit you in the face in the form of Gene Simmons' cock.

BTW - did you know Lance dominated trialthlons LONG before he was ever a pro cyclist? Going back to when he was a teenager. Yeah, I'm sure he was doping EPO at age 13 in the early 80's. 

[GH2001]

How does this make me wrong?

Is this not exactly what I was saying? It pains you to agree with me so badly that you paint me into the opposite side of my actual argument so you can disagree with it...

Sorry, I read your post wrong. Yes, agree with you then. I didn't quite pick up on the sarcasm. My B.

[djsimp]

You and Kaos have no clue what you are talking about.

You of all people should see it from his eyes (seeing what has happened to Auburn and the Saints). He was going to be guilty regardless whether he fought it or not. He saw the writing on the wall. So why spend millions fighting it any longer?

He passed over 700 fucking tests! He did everything asked of him and played by their rules. This was a witch hunt, plain and simple. Tygart had a personal ax to grind with Lance.

I like how the "evidence" against him are some bullshit accounts from 2 KNOWN DOPERS and LIARS - Hamilton and Landis. Real credible. And still, no failed drug tests.

Actually I think K was by himself on that one. Chizad was giving the 411.

nevermind