They are so free at AUFamily that you can do basically anything!...*
*Except:
Alabama
A 1950 anti-obscenity law in Irondale, Ala., prohibited any showing of anyone nude or "in a substantially nude state" except a babe in arms.
Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
An ordinance in Linden, Ala., provided that all women of "uncertain chastity" had to be off the streets by 9 p.m.
Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
Children of incestuous couples are deemed legitimate.
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
Hunting is not allowed on Sunday.
Incestuous marriages are legal.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone's pity.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
It is legal to drive the wrong way on a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.
It's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."
Jasper: It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
Lee County: It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
Masks may not be worn in public
Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
Mobile: It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.
Montgomery: It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses.
No persons may sell "blow-out nuts".
Peanuts are not allowed to be sold in Lee County, Alabama after sunset on Wednesdays.
Pool halls may not be operated between 11:30 PM and 6 AM.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
Slavery is still legal in Decatur, Alabama.
The game of crackaloo is illegal in Fairfield, Ala.
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
You may not drive barefooted.
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
You must have windshield wipers on your car.
Alaska
A law in Fairbanks does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
Even though it is legal to hunt a bear, it is illegal to wake a bear and take a picture for photo opportunities.
Fairbanks: It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time.
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
Arizona
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony (This goes back in the days of the Wild West).
Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
Due to a typographical error in the Tempe, Ariz., code, a shooting range can be run by the "Amateur Crapshooting Association."
Glendale: Cars may not be driven in reverse.
Hayden: If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
In 1985, an Arizona legislator proposed that each candidate for the legislature take a reading and an I.Q. test three months before the election. The scores would have been posted on the ballot, had the bill passed. But a majority of legislators, for whatever reason, voted it down.
In Arizona it is illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday.
It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
It is illegal to hunt camels in the state of Arizona.
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house.
Mesa: It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.
Mohave County: A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
Nogales: An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
Prescott: No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
Tucson: Women may not wear pants.
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
Arkansas
A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.
Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
An Arkansas legislator not long ago proposed that the state provide growth hormones to dwarfs.
Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw"
At Arkansas State University two people cannot hold hands while standing in a doorway unless they belong to a union.
Fayetteville: It is illegal to kill "any living creature".
Flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
In Arkansas it is illegal to buy or sell blue lightbulbs.
It's illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas in that state.
Little Rock: Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
No person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M.
The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
California
Alhambra: You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
A regulation in San Francisco makes it unlawful to use used underwear to wipe off cars in a car wash.
Arcadia: Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.
A server in California can be convicted of selling to a minor if the purchaser uses a false or altered ID to buy the alcohol.
Baldwin Park: Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Bathhouses are against the law.
Belvedere City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
Blythe: You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
Burlingame: It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds
Carmel Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor)
Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
California only fairly recently legalized the sale of alcoholic beverages in nudist colonies.
Car wash attendants in San Francisco, California may not use old pairs of underware to wash or dry vehicles.
Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
Downey: It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).
Hollywood: It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
In 1838, the city of Los Angeles passed an ordinance requiring that a man obtain a license before serenading a woman.
In Los Angeles courts it is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
In Berkeley, Calif., you can't whistle for an escaped bird before 7 a.m.
In 1930, the City Council of Ontario passed an ordinance forbidding roosters to crow within the city limits.
In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.
In California, community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
In California it is illegal to have caller ID
In California it's against regulations to let phones ring more than nine times in state offices.
In California you may not set a mouse trap without a hunting license.
In California, selling a gold piece without tooth marks in it is considered forgery.
In Los Angeles, years ago it was legal to cook in your bedroom, but not to sleep in your kitchen.
In Los Angeles a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
In the 1940's, California law made it illegal to serve alcohol to a gay person.
In Riverside, California, kissing on the lips, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water, is against the local health ordinance.
In San Francisco it's illegal to play poker in public or gamble in a barricaded room.
In San Francisco, it's illegal to beat a rug in front of your house.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
It is a violation of the California Alcoholic Beverage Control Act for producers of alcohol beverages to list the names of retailers or restaurants that sell their products in advertising or even in newsletters.
It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub
It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
It is illegal to set a mouse trap without a hunting license.
Lafayette: You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.
Lodi: It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".
Lompoc: It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.
Long Beach: Cars are the only item allowed in a garage
It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
Los Angeles law forbids hunting moths under a street light.
Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.
Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
No alcohol beverages can be displayed within five feet of a cash register of any store in California that sells both alcohol and motor fuel.
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Oakland, Calif., makes it illegal to grow a tree in front of your neighbor's window and block his view. However, you're off the hook if the tree is one that town officials consider an attractive tree, such as a redwood or box elder.
One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
Ontario: Roosters may not crow in the city limits.
Pacific Grove: Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
Palm Springs: It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.
Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
Prunedale: Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
Redlands: Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.
San Francisco has an ordinance prohibiting "cane games." City officials have no idea what cane games are. But when revising city laws recently, officials decided to keep the prohibition on the books, in case someday, somehow, cane games came back, they were deemed improper and the city needed the law.
San Francisco is said to be the only city in the nation to have ordinances guaranteeing sunshine to the masses.
San Francisco: Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash
Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street
San Francisco bans any "mechanical device that reproduces obscene language."
San Francisco prohibits kerchoo powders and stink balls.
San Jose: It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs.
Santa Monica: You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
Temecula: Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.
The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
The city of San Francisco holds a copyright on the name "San Francisco." It is illegal to manufacture any item with the name without first getting permission from the city. Since the Supreme Court upheld the copyright, San Francisco has had an annual $300 million surplus every year.
The Santa Monica, Calif., City Council recently proposed that men be allowed to use women's public restrooms when there's a line of three or more at the mens' room, and vice versa.
Women may not drive in a house coat.
You can be fined $500 if you bother a butterfly in Pacific Grove, Ca.
Colorado
Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars in anything larger than miniature containers.
Colorado Springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park
Durango: It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
In Colorado it's now legal to remove the furniture tags that say, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law."
In Denver, Colorado it is illegal for Barber's to give massages to nude customers unless it is for instructional purposes.
In Denver, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor.
It is against the law in Pueblo, Colorado, to raise or permit a dandelion to grow within the city limits.
It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep in Logan County, Colorado.
It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress to be out on the streets after 7 PM.
It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver.
Logan County: It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days.
Pueblo: It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
Sterling: Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
Connecticut
A local ordinance in Atwoodville, Connecticut prohibits people from playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.
A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces
Balloons with advertising on them are illegal in Hartford, Conn.
Bloomfield, Conn: It's against the law to eat in your car.
Cattle branding in the United States did not originate in the West. It began in Connecticut in the mid-nineteenth century, when farmers were required by law to mark all their pigs.
Devon: It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
Druggists in Connecticut must pay $400.00 each year for a license in order to use alcohol in compounding prescriptions.
Guilford: Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display.
Hartford: You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands
In colonial times, Hartford, Conn., had an ordinance that allowed any resident to rent the town chain for 2 pence.
In Connecticut any dogs with tattoos must be reported to the police.
In Connecticut it is illegal to pirouette while crossing the street
In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
In Hartford, Conn., it's illegal to plant a tree in the street.
In Hartford, Connecticut, it is illegal to kiss your wife on Sunday.
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
In Simsbury, Conn., it's illegal for a politician to campaign at the town dump.
It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway.
It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
It's illegal to clam at night in Connecticut.
New Britain: It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.
No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.
Southington: Silly string is banned.
Strangers in Simsbury, Conn., were required, under an ordinance enacted in 1701 and only recently repealed, to leave town within a month unless they had at least 20 shillings to their names.
The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited.
This state still retains an old law forbidding any kind of "private sexual behavior between consenting adults."
Under the Code of 1650 in the New Haven Colony (in what is now Connecticut), a 16-year-old boy could be put to death if he "cursed, struck or disobeyed" his parents or was "stubborn or rebellious."
Waterbury: It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.
You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.
You may not educate dogs.
Delaware
Delaware prohibits horse racing of any kind on Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
In Delaware it is illegal to get married on a dare.
In Delaware you may not sell dead people for money without a license.
It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.
Lewes: It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist
D.C.
A D.C. federal judge has ruled that begging is a form of free speech protected by the Constitution. That means that mugging is free speech too, only more persuasive.
In Washington D.C. it is illegal to post a notice in public which calls another person a 'coward' for refusing to accept a challenge to duel.
It is unlawful for small boys to throw stones, at any time, at any place in the District of Columbia.
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
The U.S. government says it's a crime to give false weather reports.
Florida
Apparently with an exaggerated idea of the laws of thermal dynamics, the city council of West Palm Beach, Fla., once decreed that the roofs of all outhouses be fireproof.
Don't plan on using any of the celebratory Champagne bottle sizes known as Methuselahs, Salamanazars, Balthazars or Nebuchadnezzars. These very traditional Champagne bottle sizes are all illegal in Florida.
Florida deals with its prostitution problem by giving prostitutes spending money, a five-year banishment, and a bus ticket out of town.
Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked in Tampa Bay.
Florida prohibits topless walking or running within a 150 foot zone between the beach and the street.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
Hialeah: Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
In Florida failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal.
In Florida it is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.
In Florida, a special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
In Florida, men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed.
In Miami, Florida it is illegal for a man to wear any kind of strapless gown.
In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
In Miami, it's illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Miami Shores Village, Fla., has for years required that all goods made in Communist countries and offered for sale in Miami Shores Village be clearly marked as such. The ordinance notes that such goods are often marked in a "false, misleading or inadequate manner, to hide their Communist origins."
In Sarasota it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.
It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6:00pm on a Thursday.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
It's against a Key West, Fla., ordinance to spit on a church floor.
It's illegal in Florida for an unmarried man and woman to live together in "open and gross lewdness." Connecticut once had a similar law, but only the woman was penalized.
Key West: Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
Pinecrest: In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained.
Sanford Stage: Nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.
Sarasota: If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00
You may not catch crabs.
Tampa Bay: It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.
Under a 1959 ordinance, stubborn children were considered vagrants in Jupiter Inlet Colony, Fla.
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
Georgia
Acworth: All citizens must own a rake.
An old law in Columbus, Ga., made it illegal to sit on your porch in an indecent position.
A Kennesaw, Ga. law makes it illegal for every homeowner not to own a gun, unless you are a convicted felon, conscientious objector or disabled.
Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
Gainesville: Chicken must be eaten with the hands.
Georgia has 75 laws on how to build rice paddies, even though the state has only one rice farm left. Rice was the state's No. 1 crop before the Civil War. But right after the war, a hurricane destroyed all the paddies and ponds. It was too expensive to replace them without slaves, so the Rice State began growing peaches, peanuts and other crops.
Georgia officials were revising their state laws in 1981, and noticed they still allowed pensions for Confederate widows. That week the last widow died. Lawmakers bowed their heads, and deleted the law.
In Atlanta, Georgia, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
In Columbus, Georgia it is illegal to sit on one's porch in an indecent position.
In Georgia, movie houses that want to show films on Sunday must reserve one showing a month for religious material.
It is illegal in Georgia to use profanity in the presence of a corpse.
In Quitman, It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down.
It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro.
It is illegal to take a bath of orange peel.
It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
Kennesaw: Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.
Marietta: Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
One man may not be on another man's back.
Signs are required to be written in English.
St. Mary's: No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.
Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.
Hawaii
All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.
Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.
Honolulu: Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird.
In Hawaii it is illegal to get a tattoo behind your ear or on your eyelid unless in the presence of a registered physician.
It used to be the law in Hawaii that children had to obey all "lawful and moral" commands of their parents.
It's illegal for a shooting gallery to offer liquor as a prize. The shooter might want to come back after drinking the prize and try again.
You will be fined if you do not own a boat.
Idaho
Boise: Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.
Idaho Falls, Idaho: If you're 88 years of age or older, it's illegal for you to ride your motorcycle.
Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car.
Idaho and other states allow members of the Native American church to use the hallucinogenic plant peyote in religious services.
Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
In Idaho walking along the street with a red-tipped cane is strictly prohibited.
In Idaho, a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds.
In Pocatello, Idaho, a law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public view."
It's illegal to hunt from the back of an animal.
Non-married couples in Idaho who engage in sexual intercourse can be jailed for up to six months
Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
The town of Idaho Falls, Idaho, forbids anyone over the age of eighty-eight to ride a motorcycle.
You may not fish on a camel's back.
Illinois
"Dwarf-tossing," the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits, is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it's dangerous and exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with a special permit.
A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. (Repealed)
According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".
An Illinois state law requires that a man's female companion shall call him "master" while out on a date. The law does not apply to married couples.
Champaign: One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
Cicero: Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
Des Plaines: Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
Eureka: A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
Fairfield: It is unlawful for "Negroes" to be within county boundaries from sundown to sunrise.
Freeport: It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
Galesburg: There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
Homer: It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
If the Rushville, Ill., city council doesn't have a quorum, those sent can have the cops go out and arrest absent members and bring them to the meeting.
In Illinois it is illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream to a customer's face.
In Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts.
In Chicago, Illinois, it is illegal to fish in pajamas.
In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or "otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object" are banned from going out in public.
In Minoola, Ill., it's illegal to take your clothes off and "expose the naked
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.
It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog.
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
It's not clear what this has done to the bar business, but a law in Chicago, Ill., makes it illegal to serve liquor to the feeble-minded.
Joliet: Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.
Kirkland: Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland's streets.
Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
Morton Grove: You may not own a handgun
Normal: It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
Orland Park: No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
Ottawa: Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
Park Ridge: Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
Peoria: Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.
The English language is not to be spoken.
The people in Manteno, Ill., do not want used facial tissue, period. Hence, you cannot "throw, drop or place" a used hankie "upon any public way or public place or upon the floor of any convenience or upon the floor of any theater, hall or assembly or public building or upon the surface or any lot or parcel of ground or on the roof on any building or in any light or air shaft, court or areaway."
Under a 1872 law still on the books, an alderman in Chicago can carry a gun. Some do.
You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.
You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
Zion: It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.
Indiana
"Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal.
A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits a Class B misdemeanor.
A sports agent is supposed to give a college 10 days notice before luring a star athlete into the professional ranks.
A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.
All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.
Auburn: It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For these offenses, there is a fine of no more than $5 or the impounding of one's bicycle for a period not to exceed 30 days.
Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South Bend of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and the trial costs.
Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
Beech Grove: It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.
Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.
Citizens are not allowed to attend a cinema or theatre nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.
Drinks on the house are illegal.
Due to a typographical error, a routine ordinance in Shelbyville, Ind., about charging for bad checks started out: "Whereas, the city of Shelbyville through its various governmental fascists receives numerous checks..." This was changed to "governmental facets."
Elkhart: It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.
Evansville: While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.
Fort Wayne: You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record "It's In the Book".
Gary: Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.
Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
In Indiana it is illegal to sell laughing gas with the intent to induce laughter.
In South Bend, Indiana, it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.
It is illegal in Elkhart, Indiana, for a barber to threaten to cut off a youngster's ears.
It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.
It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday.
Liquor stores may not sell milk.
Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.
Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.
One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.
Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.
South Bend: It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
Taxpayers of Bainbridge, Ind., used to have to swear a solemn oath that the values they placed on their taxable property were the fair market values.
It’s illegal to spit on the sidewalk.
The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415.
Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.
You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table, the waiter or waitress has to do it.
You are required to pour your drink into a glass.
You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her.
Iowa
A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
An owner or employee of an establishment in Iowa that sells alcohol can't legally consume a drink there after closing for business.
If a law enforcement officer is having a drink in a bar in Iowa and an employee pours water down the drain, the water is legally considered an alcohol beverage intended for unlawful purposes.
In Dubuque any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.
In Fort Madison the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.
In Marshalltown horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."
Indianola: The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.
It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.
It is illegal to hunt from an aircraft.
It is illegal to accept a gratuity or tip in Iowa.
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.
Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
One-armed piano players must perform for free.
Riverboat gamblers in Iowa have a $5 maximum bet.
The Iowa Legislature once passed a resolution ordering the state cafeteria to start serving cornbread.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.
You may shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them on your property at any one time.
Kansas
In Kansas City, KS, saying the name "George Washington" without adding the phrase "blessed be his name," can land you with a fine of up to fifty cents.
In Natoma, Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suites.
In Topeka, Kansas, servers are forbidden to serve wine in teacups.
In Wichita, at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way.
It is illegal to catch bullfrogs in a tomato patch.
It is illegal to hunt whales.
It is illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas.
Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.
Lawrence: All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival.
No one may wear a bee in their hat.
Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.
No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
Russell: Musical car horns are banned
Salina: It is against the law to leave your car running unattended.
The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.
Kentucky
A person can be sent to jail for five years for merely sending a bottle of beer, wine or spirits as a gift to a friend in Kentucky.
An ordinance in Murray, Ky., says the superintendent of sanitation "shall determine whether a person is small, medium or large." Why the superintendent should make this determination is left unsaid.
A Kentucky statute says: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." Later, an amendment proposed: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses."
All nude people in your house must be registered in Kentucky.
Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars."
Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection with any religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100).
By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground".
Each year, the mayor of Danville, Ky., must appoint "three intelligent housekeepers" to the Board of Tax Supervisors.
Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.
In Danville, Ky., it's illegal to throw slops or soapsuds in the street.
In Kentucky, according to an old law, it's illegal to use any kind of reptile in a religious service. It's not certain if the law would withstand First Amendment scrutiny today.
In Kentucky every citizen of is required to take a shower once a year.
In Kentucky you need a license to walk around nude on your property.
It is illegal in Kentucky to marry the same man more than 3 times.
It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.
It is illegal to shoot game out of the window of a moving vehicle, with the exception of a whale
It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.
By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense.
No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500.
Owensboro: A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission.
All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease.
Louisiana
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault", while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault".
Communism has been against the law in Haines City, La., since 1950.
If you've ever been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, you'll see the kings and queens on the various floats throwing plastic money, medallions and jewels to the crowd, but not food. It's against the law to throw food from a float in the Mardi Gras festivities.
It is against state law to steal even a single crawfish.
It is illegal to gargle in public places.
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.
It is illegal in Lafayette, Louisiana to play a musical instrument for the purpose of attracting attention, without a license.
It's legal to walk down the street with a drink in New Orleans, even to drive with a drink. But if you fall over and block the sidewalk, you've just broken the law.
Louisiana law prohibits couples who are shopping for a new bed from putting it to the "ultimate test"-- in other words, from trying it out by making love on it, or even simulating this activity.
Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
New Orleans: You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
Rituals that involve the ingestion of blood, urine, or fecal matter are not allowed.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
Maine
After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
In Augusta to stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
It's illegal to clean salmon along Maine's upper Kennebec River. Enforcement of this law has been made easier for many years by the fact that, because of a dam, there are no salmon on the upper Kennebec River.
In Maine, it is illegal to sell a car on Sunday unless it comes equipped with plumbing.
In Maine it's illegal to catch lobsters with your bare hands.
In Portland shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
In Waterville, Maine, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
It's unlawful to tickle a woman's chin with a feather duster in Portland.
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
You may not step out of a plane in flight.
Maryland
Baltimore City: Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited.
Baltimore has regulations governing the disposal of hog's heads, pet droppings and oyster shells.
Columbia: You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish. Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.
Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
Gypsies should steer clear of Caroline County, Md., where it's a $100 fine or six months in the can for "forecasting or pretending to foretell the future."
In Baltimore it's illegal to block the sidewalk with a box. But the offense only carries a $1 fine. Another law makes it illegal to throw bale of hay (or of anything else) out a second-story window. That gets you a $20 fine.
In Baltimore it's illegal to play professional croquet before 2 p.m. Sunday. The law also applies to professional quoits.
In Baltimore it is illegal to mistreat oysters.
In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks no matter how dirty they get.
In Baltimore, Maryland, it is not legal to take a lion to the movies.
In Halethrope, Maryland kisses longer than one second are illegal.
In Maryland, a woman may not go through her husband's pockets while he is sleeping.
In Maryland, men may not buy drinks for female bartenders.
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
In Maryland, the legislature once proposed a board of parachute examiners to be made up of five licensed parachute instructors who would test and license all other parachute instructors. The plan had been abandoned when it was learned there were only three licensed parachute instructors in the state.
It is a violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine.
Maryland now requires that alcohol beverage writers be certified as experts by an agency of the state before they can receive product samples, which it limits to three bottles per brand.
Ocean City: A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk.
Thistles may not grow in one's yard.
You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
You cannot swear while inside the city limits of Baltimore.
Massachusetts
A Boston mayor who disliked dancing and liked to retire early once banned midnight dancing in the Hub City.
A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
Both Massachusetts and New Hampshire had old laws that penalized gamblers who lost money. You'd get fined in Massachusetts if you had any money left.
Bullets may not be used as currency.
Burlington: You may not walk around with a "drink".
Cambridge: It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk. It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday.
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
Hingham: You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible. If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.
Hopkinton: Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.
Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
Holyoke, Massachusetts, makes it unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining.
In a law that predates returnable bottles and cans, it's illegal in Boston to rummage through rubbish containers.
In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
In Boston it's illegal to post an advertisement on a public urinal. It's also against the law to hang a vending machine on a utility pole.
In Boston, it's illegal to cut firewood in the street, or shoot a bow and arrow in the street.
In Boston it's against the law to keep manure in a building unless the building is being used as a stable. If it is, you can keep up to two cords of manure. If you're overstocked, you need a permit to move the stuff. And you can't leave it in the street.
In Boston, Massachusetts it is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to do so by a physician.
In Massachusetts, it is unlawful to deliver diapers on Sunday, regardless of emergencies.
In Massachusetts you must have a license to wear a goatee.
In Massachusetts, if you get caught eating peanuts in church , you can be jailed for up to one year.
In Provincetown, Mass., it's illegal to sell suntan oil until after noon on Sunday.
In Salem, Massachesetts sleeping in the nude in a rented room is forbidden, even for married couples.
It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine
It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.
It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road.
It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.
It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
Longmeadow: It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
Massachusetts law declares that peanuts may not be eaten in court.
Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
Milford: Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
Newton: All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.
No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
North Andover: An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
Public boxing matches are outlawed.
Quakers and witches are banned.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
Southbridge, Massachusetts, makes it illegal to read books or newspapers after 8 p.m. in the streets.
Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the month of April.
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
Under an old law in Marblehead, Mass., it was illegal to cross the street on Sunday, unless absolutely necessary.
Woburn: In bars, it is illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand.
You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
You may not curse inside the city limits.
You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.
Michigan
A Michigan law states that a wife's hair legally belongs to her husband : a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
In Detroit, Michigan it is illegal to sleep in a bathtub.
In Rochester, Michigan, anyone bathing in public must have his or her bath
276 Replies
56644 Views